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Title: The Diary of a Pug
Source: Unclebob's Treehouse
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 17, 2010
Author: Bob Wallace
Post Date: 2010-11-17 11:19:51 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 207
Comments: 7

7:59 am: ZZZZZZZ

8:00 Time to stand on Food Guy’s chest and stare at him until he wakes up. “Wake up, Food Guy! Wake up!!!”

8:00: 01 Food Guy is awake! Mission accomplished!

8:05 Ahhh...food! It’s great! I don’t know what it is! I never know what it is, but it’s FOOD!!! And it’s great!!

8:12 Oh boy! The leash! That means a walk!

8:13 Ahhh…nothing starts the day like peeing on a tree! Or is this a fire hydrant?

8:17 This looks like a good place to poop. I think I’ve pooped here before. Not too sure about that, though.

8:20 Ack! Quit jerking on my leash, Food Guy! It’s not like you never tried to hump a female!

8:22 I have to pee again. Technically, though, I think this is called “marking.” Food Guy gets a little annoyed I do it five times on a walk.

8:25 This is amazing! I stand at the door and stare at it, and Food Guy opens it! The powers I have!!

8:28 I think I’ll run back and forth through the house while Food Guy chases me! Look, I’m spinning in circles and he’s laughing! I think I’ll stand on my hind feet and dance! This is fun!!

8:30 Boy am I pooped! Now Food Guy has turned into Petting Guy! And he looks exactly the same! He sure is smart, but boy is he strange-looking! All the Food People are strange-looking, like really elongated dogs!

8:32 ZZZZZZ

Noon: I’m hungry and I have to pee. Where’s Food Guy?

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#1. To: Turtle (#0)

7:52 to 7:58 Lick butt really clean prior to wake up kisses for Food Guy.

"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations

abraxas  posted on  2010-11-17   11:43:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

7:52 to 7:58 Lick butt really clean prior to wake up kisses for Food Guy.

LOL

Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2010-11-17   11:46:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Pugs are too stocky to lick their butts.

How little you know about pugs!

Don't you have some perverted excuse for a dog? With a weirdly shaped head?

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2010-11-17   11:48:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Pugs are too stocky to lick their butts.

Who said Pug was licking his OWN butt? lol

Pugs have really stinky anal glands....must be true that dogs share traits of their owners. hehehehe

"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations

abraxas  posted on  2010-11-17   12:06:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

You're just jealous because you don't own a pug and instead have they weird dog with the triangular head.

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2010-11-17   12:08:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

you don't own a pug and instead have they weird dog with the triangular head.

I prefer dogs that do not have stinky anal glands. Is it true those stinky glands smell like dead fish when they excrete? PU--first two letters of pug.

My dog is super sweet, very clean and has no anal gland maladies, just like me. : )

"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations

abraxas  posted on  2010-11-17   12:14:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I prefer dogs that do not have stinky anal glands

Pugs do not have stinky anal glands. Pugs smell clean and even brush their own teeth.

Your dog has a narrow head with squished brains.

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2010-11-17   12:19:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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