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Title: How to understand what women mean (and men too)
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Published: Dec 12, 2010
Author: unknown
Post Date: 2010-12-12 16:40:52 by wudidiz
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Views: 307
Comments: 31
Poster Comment: This should clarify a few things...
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 10.
#10. To: wudidiz, farmfriend, abraxas, christine, ratcat, Phant2000, Cynicom (#0)
Here's a handy guide to translating what women say and what they actually mean: "It's your decision." (I told you what I want. Why are we still debating?) "No, I'm not upset." (Of course I'm upset, you clueless jackass!) "Do what you want." (But there will be hell to pay later.) "We need to talk." (You need to listen.) "We need to talk." (I need to complain.) "We need to talk." (We need to break up.) "Fine." (Not fine.) "Nothing." (Something. This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument about to happen.) "Can I ask you a question?" (Whatever I say next is going to make you very uncomfortable.) "Don't take offense to what I have to say" (What I will say will make you feel very bad about yourself.) "No, pizza's fine." (What a cheap bastard you are or You won't be getting any tonight.) "I just don't want a boyfriend right now." (I just don't want you as a boyfriend right now.) "Do I look fat in this dress?" (We haven't had a good fight in awhile.) (Hint: There is no correct answer.) "I just need some space." (without you in it. Now do me a favor and get lost.) "I like you, but..." (I can't stand you much of the time.) "I just don't want to spend all of my "free time" with you" (I just want to see you when there's no other better offer and I'm really horny.) "I just don't see "a future" with you." (You don't make as much money as me and I just want you just to be my little play thing.) "I hope we never stop surprising each other." (I'm having an affair with your brother.) "It's your decision" (The correct decision should be obvious by now.) "Sure... go ahead" (As long as you don't mind hearing about it several times a week for the next decade. I don't want you to and I will make you pay for it later.) "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): (This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".) "Go Ahead "(normal eyebrows): (This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine.") and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. "That's Okay" (This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before exacting retribution for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be left with no doubt that you will not take "That's Okay" lightly ever again.) "I'm not upset" (UPSET! Of course I'm upset, you freaking moron!) "You're certainly attentive tonight" "Do you like this recipe?" "I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" "Hang the picture there" "I heard a noise" "Yes" "No" "Maybe" "We'll see"
#12. To: Original_Intent (#10)
(This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before exacting retribution for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be left with no doubt that you will not take "That's Okay" lightly ever again.) LOL. these are great. that one is my favorite.
A complete list of definitions by either a married man, a man who gave up, or a brother to many sisters!!!
“Whatever”: Whatever is another of those phrases like “That’s Okay” that a man should endeavor to avoid ever hearing. It indicates a situation where special consideration is required. The definition is variable depending upon a woman’s facial expression and tone of voice. The implications range from sleeping on the couch or a visit to Dante’s Inferno. Said with a sneering sarcastic tone it equates to: “Whatever, you moron. That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard of.” It is likely to be followed with “Go ahead”, “That’s Okay, to be followed with “Nothing”, “Fine”, and “I’ll get back to you in about “5 minutes”. Said with a laugh: "That's incredibly stupid." With raised eyebrows and a tone of exasperation “Whatever” is at once dismissive and a sign that you have just ventured into territory akin to stepping off a precipice into a bottomless abyss. There may be no ending to the repercussions and expiation must be on the order of a dramatic suicide or a new Chrystal Chandelier in the Entry. Said with a light lilt to the voice and apparent “I don’t care what you do” delivery it is an indication that you have just committed a faux pas, or are about to engage in something, for which retribution will be exacted in the slowest and most painful manner possible. It is likely to be something more or less equivalent to being tied down on a bed of spikes in a cage full of weasels. Said mockingly it is something like a cat addressing a mouse - and you’re the mouse. The one thing you can count on is that something very painful is going to follow. It can also take on the meaning of a curse as in an angry delivery where it means “Whatever, you imbecile, I cannot believe that I am even in the same space as you, and that is going to be corrected as soon as possible.” Redemption may require something on the order of groveling and a new Mercedes.
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(Is sex all you ever think about?)
(It's easy to fix, so you'd better learn to love it.)
(I'm on my period.)
(NO, I mean hang it there! no wait, over there! On second thought ...)
(I can't sleep and I noticed you were almost asleep.)
(no.)
(No.)
(No.)
(No.)
Replies to Comment # 10. "That's Okay"
#24. To: Original_Intent (#10)
#29. To: wudidiz, farmfriend, abraxas, christine, ratcat, Phant2000, Cynicom (#10)
(Edited)
End Trace Mode for Comment # 10.