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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: A Blonde's  Year in Review  
Source: E-Mail
URL Source: http://http:E-Mail
Published: Dec 15, 2010
Author: unk.
Post Date: 2010-12-15 12:02:40 by ndcorup
Keywords: None
Views: 303
Comments: 5

>

A Blonde's  Year in Review  

January  
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.  

February  
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Helllloooo!!!........bottles  won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got  really excited.......finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months......
Box said ' 2-4 years!'  

April  
Trapped on escalator for hours ...  
Power went out!!!

May
Tried to  make Kool-Aid......wrong instructions....
8 cups of  water won't fit into those little packets!!!
  
June
Tried to  go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a  slope.
   
July
Lost  breast stroke swimming competition.....
Learned  later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their  arms!!!

August
Got  locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Car  swamped because soft-top was open.

September    
The capital of California is  'C'.....isn't it???  

October
Hate  M & M's.....
They are so hard to peel.
 
November    
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days  ...  
Instructions  said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!  

December
  
Couldn't  call 911.
'Duh'......there's no 'eleven' button on  the stupid phone!!!  

 

AND....  


A  man was in his front yard mowing grass when his  attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the  house and went straight to the mailbox.  
She opened it then slammed  it shut and  stormed back in the house.
   
A  little later she came out of her house again went to  the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut  again.. Angrily, back into the house she  went.
 
As the man was getting  ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,  marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it  closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the  man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

To which she replied,  'There certainly is!'


(Are you  ready? This is a  beauty...)  


'My stupid computer keeps  saying, 'YOU'VE GOT  MAIL!' 

>

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#1. To: ndcorup (#0)

This only applies to women who dye their hair blonde, not real blondes.

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2010-12-15   12:10:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: ndcorup (#0)

Q: What do you call a brunette standing between a blond and a redhead?

A: An interpreter.

"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha

Original_Intent  posted on  2010-12-15   12:42:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: All (#0)

We must not have any Blondes on the Forum today.

My Wife/Cousin is reddish blonde. But I married her anyway. Her Daddy was my favorite Uncle.

ndcorup  posted on  2010-12-15   13:46:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Original_Intent (#2)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2010-12-15   13:52:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: ndcorup (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2010-12-15   13:52:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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