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Title: I need help
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Published: Dec 31, 2010
Author: email
Post Date: 2010-12-31 14:07:17 by Jethro Tull
Keywords: None
Views: 728
Comments: 29
As my good friends, I need your opinions and help. I need your advice for a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that the little woman has been cheating. The usual signs; phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on ...It was at that moment while crouched behind the boat I noticed .... a hairline crack in the outboard mounting bracket ..... Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?
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#1. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
LMFAO!
Click for Privacy and Preparedness files
”I say to each man and woman, you are unique and sovereign, the center of a universe. However right I may be in thinking as I do, you may be equally right in thinking otherwise. You can only accomplish your object in life by complete disregard of the opinions of other people.“ - Aleister Crowley
#2. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
LOL
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!
#3. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
You didn't mention what HorsePower engine?
" a hairline crack in the outboard mounting bracket ..... Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?"
#4. To: ndcorup, farmfriend, PSUSA, 4 (#3)
Oh, she has twin screws with a real tight torque.
You didn't mention what HorsePower engine?
#5. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
Pity you noticed that hairline crack.. the story was getting GOOD. lol
Solutions for Ireland. Say NO to the IMF/World bank. Default on our debt. Print our own debt free currency. Nationalise the trillion euros worth of gas and oil off our west coast. Take back our fishing (200 billion worth). Get our farmers growing again. Done deal if our politicians had the backbone. ~ Jim Corr
#6. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
It really depends on the type of metal. Aluminum is too compromised and would simply be subject to further metal fatigue. If it is a good steel alloy then it is likely that it can be welded, but I would check for other cracks first to make sure that it is salvageable.
Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#7. To: Jethro Tull (#4) (Edited)
LOL! You're on a roll here! Does she take forever to get warmed up? Is her cylinder bored out properly? Does she give good head gasket? Proper lubrication? .
Oh, she has twin screws with a real tight torque.
Click for Privacy and Preparedness files
”I say to each man and woman, you are unique and sovereign, the center of a universe. However right I may be in thinking as I do, you may be equally right in thinking otherwise. You can only accomplish your object in life by complete disregard of the opinions of other people.“ - Aleister Crowley
#8. To: Jethro Tull, ndcorup, PSUSA, Original_Intent, critter, Lod, Turtle, Armadillo (#0)
If Dear Abby were a man: Dear Abby: Q: My husband to be still pines for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him. Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love - we have no time to talk. Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal, and give him a blow job and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal, and give him a blow job and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal, and give him a blow job and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal, and give him a blow job.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at car-boot sales. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, cook him a nice meal, and give him a blow job.
A: Sex is an extremely difficult task for a man. Afterwards he needs rest. In fact, the more he loves you, the more hard work his love-making is, and the more rest he needs. Stop putting pressure on him. Buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal, and give him a blow job.
A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on by you that he cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the 'effort' the more he loves you. Return this love by buying a nice, expensive present, cooking him a nice meal, and giving him a blow job.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, cooking a nice meal, and giving him a blow job.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present and don't forget to cook him a nice meal and give him a blow job.
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!
#9. To: irishthatcherite (#8)
Didn't mean to leave you off the above ping.
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!
#10. To: Original_Intent. 4 (#6)
Thanks. The boat is getting a bit old. I think I'll look for a younger model after the 1st of the year. (In my dreams, she'd have me homeless living under a bridge in Queens:))
#11. To: Jethro Tull (#10)
You better have that crack magnafluxed, and in a hurry!!
#12. To: PSUSA, 4 (#7)
Does she give good head gasket? Proper lubrication? . I don't check the oil like I used to. The freakin' dip stick seems to bend at exactly the wrong time.
Does she take forever to get warmed up? Is her cylinder bored out properly?
#13. To: randge (#11)
LOLOLOL
magnafluxed
#14. To: farmfriend (#8)
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present and don't forget to cook him a nice meal and give him a blow job. Bahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
#15. To: farmfriend (#8)
Skip the presents. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. You'd probably get the wrong damn thing anyway. I'm not all that hungry right now either.
Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal, and give him a blow job and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#16. To: Esso (#15)
LOL
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!
#17. To: Jethro Tull (#10)
Hee, hee. But think of all the great experiences you could swap with the guys hanging around the fire in the trash barrel. ;-)
(In my dreams, she'd have me homeless living under a bridge in Queens:))
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#18. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
Since this is 4um’s “Dear Abby” thread, it is MY turn to share the following with you. I need your advice for a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my big ass boyfriend has been cheating. The usual signs are the hours he works; the time he spends “with the boys”, all the headaches he suffers at bedtime, and the fact he is always broke. I have tried to follow him after work, but he always loses me. When I have then tried to call him and ascertain where he went, he doesn’t answer his cell phone. When I tell him its my birthday, he says, “I wish I could buy you a gift, or at least take you to dinner, but I’m broke!” Late yesterday afternoon, I decided I would hide somewhere in the office building where he works and see what time he REALLY leaves the office and where he goes. About 10 p.m. he came out of his office. He and his boss were walking hand in hand and were kissing each other! It was at that very moment that I asked myself, “Is he queer? Is he bisexual? Could he be a cross- dresser?” Do you suppose if I buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal, give him a blow job and do NOT mention this aspect of his behavior, I can mend his ways?
#19. To: Jethro Tull, 4 (#0)
Have her get into the boat right next to the bracket. Take your .44 mag revolver, shoot 4 holes through the bracket, 2 on either side of the crack and passing through her vitals. Bolt the bracket together using 2 pieces of steel strap across the crack. You have taken care of two problems in the most efficient manner possible.
email reply to the question -
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.
#20. To: Jethro Tull (#4)
Oh, she has twin screws
"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" - Ronald Reagan
#21. To: Phant2000, Ping to 18 (#18)
LMI(Irish) AO!!!!!!! :P
#22. To: Flintlock, Lod, 4 (#20)
#23. To: Jethro Tull, All (#0)
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.
"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin
#24. To: Phant2000 (#18)
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.
"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin
#25. To: Jethro Tull (#22) (Edited)
ODIN's!!! Greatest Hits there's more than one clip
Halleluyah
"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" - Ronald Reagan
#26. To: farmfriend (#8)
Great advice.
#27. To: farmfriend (#8)
Contains plenty of protein... lol
Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin.
Solutions for Ireland. Say NO to the IMF/World bank. Default on our debt. Print our own debt free currency. Nationalise the trillion euros worth of gas and oil off our west coast. Take back our fishing (200 billion worth). Get our farmers growing again. Done deal if our politicians had the backbone. ~ Jim Corr
#28. To: irishthatcherite (#27)
exactly.
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!
#29. To: farmfriend (#8) (Edited)
Her: "Uh uh, you're not going to sleep." Me: "I...can't...stay...awake.....zzzzz."
Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love - we have no time to talk.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
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