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Editorial
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Title: Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 2, 2011
Author: pr
Post Date: 2011-01-02 14:56:56 by tom007
Keywords: None
Views: 295
Comments: 34

Andy Borowitz Andy Borowitz

VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) - Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, "Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two."

Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area "so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur."

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, "I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"

In other blizzard-related news, the National Weather Service offered this update: "It's as white as a Glenn Beck rally out there." More here.

The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has "one of the funniest Twitter feeds around." Follow Andy on Twitter here.

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#1. To: tom007 (#0)

"I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"

I detect satire.

Not even PR can say something so stupid. Can he?

,


Click for Privacy and Preparedness files

”I say to each man and woman, you are unique and sovereign, the center of a universe. However right I may be in thinking as I do, you may be equally right in thinking otherwise. You can only accomplish your object in life by complete disregard of the opinions of other people.“ - Aleister Crowley

Jesus Never Existed

PSUSA  posted on  2011-01-02   15:02:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: PSUSA (#1)

Not even PR can say something so stupid. Can he?

I dunno, he can be surprising tho.

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2011-01-02   15:11:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: tom007 (#0)

If true this ranks up there among his more insane pronouncements.

I became convinced some time back that Rat Pobertson is a Mockingbird.

"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha

Original_Intent  posted on  2011-01-02   15:22:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: tom007 (#0)

Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

which in today's speak means they were going to do something stupid. That's just gay.


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-02   15:36:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: farmfriend (#4)

I have no intention of doing anything "gay".

"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha

Original_Intent  posted on  2011-01-02   15:49:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: tom007 (#0)

Here's a surprise for old Marion: Gays in most cities hardly need to drive to find an opportunity to "do something gay". In fact, in some neighborhoods in some cities, they seldom need to cross the street.

But, when the weather is good, does that mean that God wants gays to "do something gay"?

Shoonra  posted on  2011-01-02   15:52:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Original_Intent (#5)

I have no intention of doing anything "gay".

Me either unless we go old school. Don't worry, be happy.

My high school girls choir was practicing a song called "Come ye gay shepherds" The song said, come ye gay gay gay gay shepherds come be gay. Needless to say, being young girls, we could not sing it with a straight face and we never performed the piece.


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-02   15:53:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: tom007 (#0)

Here's a surprise for old Marion: Gays in most cities hardly need to drive to find an opportunity to "do something gay". In fact, in some neighborhoods in some cities, they seldom need to cross the street.

But, when the weather is good, does that mean that God wants gays to "do something gay"?

Seems to me it would have been MUCH MORE IMPRESSIVE if the snow fell only on the houses and cars of gay people and the rest of us had clear roads.

Shoonra  posted on  2011-01-02   15:54:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: PSUSA (#1)

I detect satire.

Ya think?

JRiggs  posted on  2011-01-02   16:06:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: tom007, 4 (#0)

www.creators.com/opinion/...y-bestiality-remarks.html

The author is a gay Jew who gets paid to mock heterosexuals, Christians and Republicans. Google his name. and look at some of his work. Why would you not post a URL?

Disgusted  posted on  2011-01-02   16:32:05 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Disgusted (#10)

Why would you not post a URL?

Because I am part of a global conspiracy, and you saw through the veil!!

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2011-01-02   16:35:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: tom007 (#11)

Ha!! I bet it is more that you and the gay Jew have a similar political view!!

Disgusted  posted on  2011-01-02   16:40:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: JRiggs (#9)

I detected satire.

I was being sarcastic.

But with robertson, you just never know. I can see him saying something this stupid.

.


Click for Privacy and Preparedness files

”I say to each man and woman, you are unique and sovereign, the center of a universe. However right I may be in thinking as I do, you may be equally right in thinking otherwise. You can only accomplish your object in life by complete disregard of the opinions of other people.“ - Aleister Crowley

Jesus Never Existed

PSUSA  posted on  2011-01-02   16:45:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: PSUSA (#13)

I detected satire.

I was being sarcastic.

I know, but it appears you're the only one here who figured it out.

JRiggs  posted on  2011-01-02   16:52:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Disgusted (#10)

The author is a gay Jew ...

He may be a Jew, but did HE tell you he is gay? His wife and kids sure can't confirm that statement as true.

Phant2000  posted on  2011-01-02   16:52:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: tom007 (#0)

http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/religion_theseeker/2010/01/pat-robertson-blames-haiti-quake-on-pact-with-devil.html

Pat Robertson Slams Bush On Liberia TV Evangelist Defends Liberian President Charles Taylor

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson accused President Bush of “undermining a Christian, Baptist president to bring in Muslim rebels” by asking Liberian President Charles Taylor, recently indicted for war crimes, to step down.

“How dare the president of the United States say to the duly elected president of another country, 'You've got to step down,'" Robertson said Monday on “The 700 Club,” broadcast from his Christian Broadcasting Network.

“It's one thing to say, we will give you money if you step down and we will give you troops if you step down, but just to order him to step down? He doesn't work for us.”

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/07/11/national/main562915.shtml

Pat Robertson makes his money the same way Osama Bin Laden does, through blood diamonds and oil. He also has hindered relief operations in Rwanda and from FEMA. Hanging is too good for this scum.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7464342

Years ago Pat Robertson, noted televangelist and head of the 700 Club, made a pact with Satan. In exchange for a tediously long life and untold material wealth, Robertson agreed to serve as spokesman for the Devil.

If you are reading this blog, I imagine that you are familiar with my work on the subject. Chapter Fifteen in Volume 2 of Sinister Forces deals specifically with Robertson and his unashamed support for mass murderers such as Taylor of Liberia, Chiluba of Zambia, and Mobutu of Zaire, as well as death squads in Central America. His support was camouflaged by something called Operation Blessing, which was really a conduit for conflict diamonds and not for medical supplies for the desperate people of Africa (in this case, Rwanda and Zaire). Of course, you don't have to take my word for it. My research was based on published reports in Time magazine as well as excellent historical reporting by Sara Diamond in a series of books on the political movement associated with evangelical Christianity.

http://sinisterforces.info/blog/index.php?/archives/46-Pat-Robertsons-Pact-with-the-Devil.html

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0149408/quotes

Prosecutor: Pat Robertson Had Gold Deal with African Dictator Prosecutors in Human Rights Trial Allege Pat Robertson Lobbied George Bush on Behalf of Liberian Warlord Charles Taylor

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/pat-robertsons-gold-deal-african-dictator/story?id=9749341

“Reverend” Pat Robertson, A Criminal, Terrorist!

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/paul-adujie/reverend-pat-robertson-a-criminal-terrorist.html

bush_is_a_moonie  posted on  2011-01-02   17:32:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: tom007 (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-02   17:45:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: All (#16)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-02   17:57:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: Shoonra (#6)

Gays in most cities hardly need to drive to find an opportunity to "do something gay". In fact, in some neighborhoods in some cities, they seldom need to cross the street.

wow,drive to do something gay? what a concept,and here I was pondering going thru an airport scanner where that gorgeous blond moniters the screening at Ft Wayne airport.I know,I know not very 'gay' but it gives me a semi,and thats ok

paddlefeet  posted on  2011-01-02   18:28:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: Eric Stratton (#18)

This one shows how fucked up Robertson's views really are when truly matched against Scripture, this entire belief is a false teaching;

And we are told to beware of false teachers. Now off to watch your videos.


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-02   19:18:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: Eric Stratton (#18)

I had a pastor say once that Satan won't hand you a three dollar bill because you'll spot it as false.


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-02   19:24:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: farmfriend (#21)

I had a pastor say once that Satan won't hand you a three dollar bill because you'll spot it as false.

Satan works incrementally. If someone works with him long enough they will gladly accept that 3 dollar bill.

Bill Crowe  posted on  2011-01-02   21:04:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: farmfriend (#21)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-02   21:38:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: Eric Stratton, farmfriend (#23)

Anyone got 2 9's for an 18?

"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha

Original_Intent  posted on  2011-01-02   21:55:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: Original_Intent (#24)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-02   22:05:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: Original_Intent, Eric Stratton (#24)

Anyone got 2 9's for an 18?

LOL


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-02   23:46:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: farmfriend (#26)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-03   8:46:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: Eric Stratton (#27)

LOL


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-03   10:24:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#29. To: farmfriend (#28) (Edited)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-03   22:05:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: Eric Stratton (#29)


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-03   22:13:03 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#31. To: farmfriend (#30)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-03   22:20:13 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#32. To: tom007 (#0) (Edited)

GOD HATES FAGS!!! - Pat Robertson.

Way to go Pat. God hates Fags. How nice. Now about all those people who died in the blizzard who weren't gay. Did God need them to come to heaven? I'm sure he did, but why wouldn't he take YOU instead?

That's right. He thinks you're a douche Pat, that's why, and when your day of judgment comes, you'll be wondering what the funny smell of sulfur and brimstone is about.

It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not. - Tommy The Mad Artist.

TommyTheMadArtist  posted on  2011-01-03   23:01:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#33. To: Eric Stratton (#31)

Ow! .... OW! ...

see now I get to kiss it and make it feel better.


Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!

farmfriend  posted on  2011-01-03   23:02:04 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#34. To: farmfriend (#33)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-01-04   10:15:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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