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History
See other History Articles

Title: To Mars! Zambia’s Forgotten Space Program
Source: American Renaissance
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 11, 2011
Author: Jennifer Ouellette
Post Date: 2011-01-11 11:02:31 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 281
Comments: 16

Edward Makuka Nkoloso informed the TIME reporter [in 1964] that his Zambian “astronauts” would beat both the US and the Soviet Union in the space race—by going to the moon, and then to Mars.

This was an unusual boast, to say the least. At the time, Zambia’s population numbered 3.6 million, with barely 1500 African-born high school graduates and less than 100 college graduates. Nkoloso himself was a grade-school science teacher, and self-appointed director of the country’s (unofficial) National Academy of Science, Space Research and Philosophy.

But he had big dreams, namely, using a catapult-inspired “firing system” to send a 10x6 aluminum and copper rocket holding ten Zambians and a 17-year-old African girl (and her cat) to Mars. He figured he could get them to the moon by 1965. All he needed was $700 million from UNESCO to fund the project.

In a newspaper editorial, Nkoloso claimed to have studied Mars for some time from telescopes at his “secret headquarters” outside Lusaka, and announced that the planet was populated by primitive natives.

It’s hard not to like Nkoloso, based on what little we know of him today. Here’s a grade school science teacher setting up his own national space program with a small group of trainees who had to roll downhill in a 44-gallon oil drum as part of Nkoloso’s plan to simulate the sensation of rushing through space. Zero gravity? He simulated that by having them swing from the end of a long rope, cutting the rope when they reached the highest point so they went into freefall. He also taught them how to walk on their hands, “the only way humans could walk on the moon.”

“They won’t concentrate on space flight; there’s too much love-making when they should be studying the moon,” he complained. Indeed, the much-touted girl astronaut, Matha, became pregnant and her parents brought her back to their village.


Poster Comment:

Every morning should start out with a good laugh.

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#1. To: Turtle (#0) (Edited)

Just watch it to the end.

LULZING MY ASS OFF!

"It was a great success!"

I just knew that there had to be something on jewtube on this. I already posted one vid of a nigger building a helicopter, and another one that built an airplane, so there had to be one with a nigger building a rocket.

.


Click for Privacy and Preparedness files

”I say to each man and woman, you are unique and sovereign, the center of a universe. However right I may be in thinking as I do, you may be equally right in thinking otherwise. You can only accomplish your object in life by complete disregard of the opinions of other people.“ - Aleister Crowley

Jesus Never Existed

PSUSA  posted on  2011-01-11   11:19:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: PSUSA (#1)

They killed an innocent rat? Why couldn't they use a Congolese instead?

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2011-01-11   11:23:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Turtle (#0)

All he needed was $700 million from UNESCO to fund the project.

Ah! The bottom line. lol

Solutions for Ireland. Say NO to the IMF/World bank. Default on our debt. Print our own debt free currency. Nationalise the trillion euros worth of gas and oil off our west coast. Take back our fishing (200 billion worth). Get our farmers growing again. Done deal if our politicians had the backbone. ~ Jim Corr

irishthatcherite  posted on  2011-01-11   11:23:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Turtle (#0) (Edited)

In a newspaper editorial, Nkoloso claimed to have studied Mars for some time from telescopes at his “secret headquarters” outside Lusaka, and announced that the planet was populated by primitive natives.

Mars must be just like Africa so.. lol I bet one of the Martian primitives faked a birth cert and became President of Jupiter.. lol

Solutions for Ireland. Say NO to the IMF/World bank. Default on our debt. Print our own debt free currency. Nationalise the trillion euros worth of gas and oil off our west coast. Take back our fishing (200 billion worth). Get our farmers growing again. Done deal if our politicians had the backbone. ~ Jim Corr

irishthatcherite  posted on  2011-01-11   11:25:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: irishthatcherite (#3)

All he needed was $700 million from UNESCO to fund the project.

He should have sent out some of the Nigerian email scams.

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2011-01-11   11:26:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Turtle (#5)

He should have sent out some of the Nigerian email scams.

Well, I would imagine he did do that when he invented the Internet, shortly after the moon shoot... lol

Solutions for Ireland. Say NO to the IMF/World bank. Default on our debt. Print our own debt free currency. Nationalise the trillion euros worth of gas and oil off our west coast. Take back our fishing (200 billion worth). Get our farmers growing again. Done deal if our politicians had the backbone. ~ Jim Corr

irishthatcherite  posted on  2011-01-11   11:27:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Turtle (#0)

Above is a rare glimpse of African astronauts performing their ritual pre- launch dance.

Enjoy!

Jethro Tull  posted on  2011-01-11   11:28:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: PSUSA (#1)

Holy shit that's funny :P

Jethro Tull  posted on  2011-01-11   11:35:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Turtle (#2)

Yeah. It would make sense, at least to the african engineering "mind", to strap a coongolese to the rocket. It's not as if there's enough room for him to be inside and I'm 100% sure that they could have nigger rigged a car seat for him. Imagine the lulz if they had done that.

I'm still keeping an eye out for the africoon "pilot" and his homebuilt "airplane" update.

.


Click for Privacy and Preparedness files

”I say to each man and woman, you are unique and sovereign, the center of a universe. However right I may be in thinking as I do, you may be equally right in thinking otherwise. You can only accomplish your object in life by complete disregard of the opinions of other people.“ - Aleister Crowley

Jesus Never Existed

PSUSA  posted on  2011-01-11   11:40:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Jethro Tull (#8)

Ping to above


Click for Privacy and Preparedness files

”I say to each man and woman, you are unique and sovereign, the center of a universe. However right I may be in thinking as I do, you may be equally right in thinking otherwise. You can only accomplish your object in life by complete disregard of the opinions of other people.“ - Aleister Crowley

Jesus Never Existed

PSUSA  posted on  2011-01-11   11:41:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Turtle (#0)

Were I a Zambian I too might be relentlessly trying to get to Mars.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. .... Yeats

iconoclast  posted on  2011-01-11   11:41:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: iconoclast (#11)

Were I a Zambian I too might be relentlessly trying to get to Mars.

They're desperate to live anyplace the white man can give them a job.

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2011-01-11   12:39:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Jethro Tull, Turtle (#7)

ritual pre- launch dance

Post-launch celebrations!

"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" - Ronald Reagan

Flintlock  posted on  2011-01-11   12:50:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: PSUSA (#1)

Huge props to the gums for blowing up a rat.

Next launch, use a gumanaut.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-01-11   16:13:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Lod (#14)

Next launch, use a gumanaut.

I prefer negronauts.

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2011-01-11   16:29:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: Turtle, 4 (#15)

Maybe a congonut...

Time for fixing chili for this chilly weather here.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-01-11   16:44:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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