See other 4play Articles
Title: RETIRE WHERE ???
Source:
[None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 27, 2011
Author: e-mail
Post Date: 2011-01-27 14:56:12 by Jethro Tull
Keywords: None
Views: 1609
Comments: 53
RETIRE WHERE ??? You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where --- 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 3. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 4. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. 5. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU F---KIDDING ME ??? !!! OR You can retire to California where --- 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought. OR You can retire to New York City where --- 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that you mean Manhattan. 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual. 5. You've worn out a car horn. (if you have a car). 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. OR You can retire to Minnesota where --- 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 3. You have more than one recipe for casserole. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and I-can't-feel-my-face. OR You can retire to the Deep South where --- 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. 5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder," or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference. OR You can retire to Colorado where --- 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center to pick up the kid. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. OR You can retire to Midwest where --- 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!" OR You can retire to Florida where --- 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind --- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
Comments (1-13) not displayed.
.
.
.
#14. To: Lod (#4)
(Edited)
A camera just doesn't quite get it all. This has been photoshopped. It's really a Texas minnow. If you don't make any ripples... Remember, I can't see images here at command central, just links and embedded videos. Thanks, the viewing impaired.
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.
The sun is larger here, as well. Do you like red, white and blue? 'Hard to believe, isn't it? That's me. I'm glad I can now blame it on living in the midwest. There is a lot of truth in that article.
#15. To: Lod (#4)
(Edited)
#16. To: Lod (#4)
(Edited)
#17. To: wakeup, 4 (#14)
#18. To: Lod (#4)
(Edited)
#19. To: Lod (#4)
(Edited)
#20. To: Lod (#4)
(Edited)
#21. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?
Click for Privacy and Preparedness files
"All Israel had one million one hundred thousand men who drew the sword, and Judah had four hundred and seventy thousand men who drew the sword. 1 Chronicles 21:5 Bigger than the US Army! lulz
Judges 1 19 The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron. Iron is gods Kryptonite. More lulz
#22. To: Lod (#4) (Edited)
From the boat dock of the place we were renting. It was sold out from under us. 
#23. To: Lod (#4) (Edited)
God doesn't need Photoshop. 
#24. To: Lod (#4) (Edited)
Those big fish like those stumps. 
#25. To: wakeup (#7)
Sharelunker program kicks butt over all other states.
__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#26. To: Lod (#4) (Edited)
God set this shot up for me. He said, "wait for it" and I did. 
#27. To: Lod (#4) (Edited)
The swimmin' hole. 
"Look out below."
#28. To: Lod (#4) (Edited)
How does He do that? 
#29. To: Lod (#4) (Edited)
Healthy lake. Come see. 
#30. To: wakeup (#7)
'Anyone like to fish?
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#31. To: Original_Intent (#30)
That's a beauty.
#32. To: wakeup (#31)
I've become a bit of a specialist. I love fishing for Browns. They are, to me, the most beautiful of the trouts except for a Male Brookie in Spawning Colors. Since Browns feed differently than Rainbows I have multiple spots that are not too long of a trip where people fish right by the big lunkers without even knowing they are there. This Rainbow is a bit smaller than my best in that category. 
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#33. To: wakeup (#31)
I meant to add - my best Largemouth was 8 pounds on the nose, my best Smallmouth a hair under 4 pounds, and my best Brookie was 18 inches and about 3 pounds. I've hooked larger Rainbows but both times they broke off - one dove under a dock and the other took while I was standing too far from my rod fishing with minnows - the pole bent double and the 6 pound test sounded like a rifle shot when it popped - which took about 2 seconds. The biggest trout I've ever seen in the wild, just snooping not fishing, was a Dolly Varden in a Beaver Pond that was easily 3 feet long - 20 pounds or better.
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#34. To: Original_Intent (#33)
Nothin' better than fresh trout. We used to take one pounders out of a mountain lake in New Mexico. Wonderful eaten raw. Better over a camp fire. Send me a plane ticket. No, make it a train.
#35. To: wakeup (#34)
My pond is full of Blue Gill,and I would not have a problem with discussing your lie about trout being the best.
Nothin' better than fresh trout
#36. To: wakeup (#22)
Please send your new mailing address, thanks much.
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.
#37. To: wakeup (#29)
Beautiful, beautiful, pics - thank you for that beauty. That is so great!
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.
#38. To: ghostdogtxn (#1)
Not true and you know it. Over run with beaners. And the "natives" are all hat and no cattle.
friendly people and hardly any Yankees.
#39. To: wakeup (#34)
My first trout on a fly was a pounder Rainbow out of Lower Racetrack Lake in the Montana Rockies. High lakes can be finicky. When the trout are off their feed they can develop a case of "lockjaw" that just will not quit, and then suddenly that can change. I saw that happen for the first time on Little Twin Lake. We had been fishing morning till dusk without a bite when suddenly the Millers started coming out and the trout went crazy. My dad was fishing with two flies and actually did bring in two fish on one cast and almost did it on another but the fish on the "dropper" got off just as he got them in close enough to net. I wish I could. I'd take you to Odell Lake in North Central Oregon. It is Oregon's largest natural lake and features, native Rainbows, Browns, Kokanee, White Fish, and while the big Browns will run up over ten pounds it features the largest Lake Trout in the State. While the Lake Trout are not as big as the 70 or 80 pound monsters they take out of the Great Lakes I am sure that there are few 50 pounders hiding in there - I'd like to beat my dad's best which was 55 pounds from Great Bear Lake in Canada. The Rainbows have to be seen up close to be appreciated. They are simply flat beautiful. Although I have a couple of lesser known spots that I don't advertise, and don't tell about except in a general way, that are what fishing is about. My favorite is a small mountain stream that winds slowly and deeply through a high meadow (above 6,000 feet) and is one of the few small streams left where you can still catch a 5 pound Rainbow. It is tricky fishing though because the bank is lined with reeds, the water is crystal clear, and the fish spook at the slightest shadow. The secret is using a long rod and staying low. I have a twelve footer that is ideal for the job. Oh, and you have to pack heat - big heat - there are some big kitties up there - .357 or larger. I have another spot I'd like to investigate but haven't had the transportation as of late. It is a shallow natural lake that is supposed to have Rainbows in the 8 to 9 pound range, but it is hard to reach and you need a high clearance 4 wheel drive to reach it.
Nothin' better than fresh trout. We used to take one pounders out of a mountain lake in New Mexico. Wonderful eaten raw. Better over a camp fire.
Send me a plane ticket. No, make it a train.
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#40. To: paddlefeet, wakeup (#35)
Growing up I had a deal with my mom - I'd catch'em and she'd eat'em. I think she had a limitless capacity for fresh cooked trout. I think Brookies or pink meated Rainbows or Browns are my favorite - nice pink meat - slow cooked over charcoal with a few moist hickory chips thrown in. My mouth is watering at the thought.
My pond is full of Blue Gill,and I would not have a problem with discussing your lie about trout being the best.
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#41. To: wakeup (#34)
Oooh, I just got to thinking. My mother was born on a little horse ranch on the Chama River - and I don't know if it still is but it used to be a good river for Browns. Also New Mexico has the Gila Trout - which is a Brook Trout relative that is just flat beautiful.
Nothin' better than fresh trout. We used to take one pounders out of a mountain lake in New Mexico.
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#42. To: Original_Intent, fishers, 4 (#41)
link to the Texas Parks and Wildlife magazine, which this month's cover story was Wish for Fish - enjoy -
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.
#43. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
Anything south/south east of Jupiter is snooty, overpriced or no longer part of the USA - The 4th world Miami to Homestead corridor is beyond belief. (it actually starts in parts of Ft Lauderdale) Stuart to Vero - Buy a Harley, join a club, go fishing Vero to Jax - Too cold in winter for FL, still hotter than hell in summer The Keys - small town with a beautiful view until hurricane season when it can become a one lane death race driving north. Stay long enough and you'll know everybody's first name. Tampa bay Area - Hillbillys meet Jimmy Buffet, not bad Ft Meyers - Nogs working on their tan in the hood Marco Island/Naples - $till keeping the rif-raf out....$ort of The interior: Mosquitoes, wild hogs, fat girls & Baptist Churches
You can retire to Florida where ---
"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" - Ronald Reagan
#44. To: wakeup (#12)
your place is beautiful, Ron.
#45. To: wakeup (#14)
Texas does have beautiful sky. Gorgeous sunsets, deep blue sky with big billowy white clouds so many days.
#46. To: Flintlock (#43)
Great breakdown of the Sunshine State. Check this out if you haven't. I wouldn't buy in FL for all the Ripple in Harlem.
www.businessinsider.com/s...foreclosure-cities-2011-1
#47. To: Lod (#42) (Edited)
Thanks for the link. The article on the Guadalupe River was interesting. You ought to tell them about the Oregon Red Band Trout. It is a Desert Stream and Lake adapted Rainbow that is more tolerant of warmer waters. It will survive in temperatures that would kill an ordinary Rainbow in fairly short order. The Red Band varies a little bit from water to water as their populations are broken up but the main difference is the heavy red band along the side on mature fish and hence the Red Band Trout name. I have seen them, in a private stream, as big as about 5 pounds. Another Desert adapted trout is the Lahontan Cutthroat which is a holdover from the end of the last Ice Age when a large part of Southern Oregon, Northern Nevada and California were covered by a vast, but relatively shallow, lake. The greatest depths were probably less than 300 feet. In any event the Lahontan Cutthroat developed in those waters and under suitable conditions it is estimated that the fish could reach 40 pounds - large for a trout.
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#48. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
Sounds like heaven, I hope the genius ivy league social engineers continue deriding us and discouraging further colonization of their sort.
You can retire to Midwest where --- 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
"I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it." - William S Burroughs
#49. To: Original_Intent (#47)
Good grief - that is huge for any freshwater fish!
In any event the Lahontan Cutthroat developed in those waters and under suitable conditions it is estimated that the fish could reach 40 pounds - large for a trout.
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.
#50. To: paddlefeet (#35) (Edited)
We called them perch when I lived on the Llano river and you are correct, they are quite tasty.
My pond is full of Blue Gill and I would not have a problem with discussing your lie about trout being the best.
#51. To: Lod (#49)
Try a Taimen some time. They are a salmonoid native to Mongolia and Lake Baikhal in Russia. Undocumented reports are of fishermen in Lake Baikhal netting specimens as big as 200 pounds thus making it the largest known trout species. (There are undocumented reports of a few rare larger varieties in China - that is, larger than the Taimen.) 
Taimen
This is a Lenok another Mongolian Trout
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha
#52. To: Cynicom (#38)
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men." -- Samuel Adams (1722-1803)‡
"Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God." -- Thomas Jefferson
#53. To: ghostdogtxn (#52)
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Most likely before you were born Sir. I was invited, and in fact a PAID tourist. Not once but twice, so there. There were hordes of beaners, a few Texans in the "awl bidness", the rest ten gallon hat type with no cattle. In fact if not for the military bases, the beaners would have gone home and the Texans would have been on welfare. hehehehehehehehehehe
You weren't invited, cyni.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest