See other All is Vanity Articles
Title: Turtle's First Novel
Source:
[None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 11, 2011
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2011-03-11 11:34:42 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 1393
Comments: 34
"Shut up, maggot," evilly cackled the sadistic guard as he ground our hero's face into the dirt with his jackboot. "You're only alive because the State wants you alive!" That's the whole novel. I'll write another one tomorrow.
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: Turtle, Phant2000 (#0)
You are my favorite author as I love brevity.
Good job ... hurry up on the next one.
"He watched as she seductively undressed in front of him. Seven years later, they got divorced."
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Turtle... To broaden the horizons of my limited education, I was urged to read works by several Russian authors. I found that impossible. They are wordsmiths of the worst kind. Entire chapter on the description of the dawn, excruciating endless detail. Meanwhile the heroine is downstairs being ravished by a lackey, and the author carries on and on. When finally he gets around to the interesting ravishing part, it takes him three chapters to describe it in minute detail. All interest is lost, take the "classical" book back to the dusty place at the library.
I don't think you're gonna have that problem with the works of Turtle. MUHAHAHAHA
"Shoot my dog, will you!?!" he said as he shot the cop's testicles off.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Oh, my God. And the moral to the story? MUHAHAHAGHAHA
Dont let this get around but Turtle and me are cuzins. Not by blood, mind you, rather by osmosis of foolishness.
Fer sure, turtle aint Russian. He runs a neat and tidy authorship.
No novel needs to be more than 150 pages long. I was always a big fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs. Monsters, swordights, half- naked Damsels in Distress....what more do you need?
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one. "Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin
I had already discerned that!!!
There's flying cars and laser pistols in there somewhere.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Can you give me the page numbers so I wont have to waste time reading other crap????
Nobody better shoot my dog.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
I am going to write a 150-page novel about Blood, Beasts and Breasts. It will be scintillating, although I won't use that word in it.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Are the other people here aware that you charge Christine ten cents for each post?????
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one. "Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin
She never pays. I'm reduced to collecting aluminum cans to support myself.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Can you give me a brief synopsis of the Breast section here on the 4um???? Save me buying the book. thanks.
Same thing here. She promised me the moon and ten cents a post. No written contract so I got slickered one more time. You think she knows we are rubes????
The first novel Turtle read at 11. It has everything needed.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Well, I hated novels, fiction from diseased minds of man. Lurid, immoral, lascivious, just horrible.
Will you use the word titillating in it?
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. James... You should not be on this immoral Turtlized thread. Bad for your ticker.
"She titillated him by flopping them around laciviously. He felt a love he had never known before. He also found that only could he not run, he couldn't even walk."
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
"Turtlized," lol! Thanks for the laugh. That "osmosis of foolishness" was a good 'un too.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. Must have just entered puberty if he "felt a love he had never known before." It's generally called lust.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. Lust...love....whatever.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
James... Some do not appreciate nor understand, let alone accept Turtle as being human. I admit there are times when I am mystified as to what makes Turtle tick. If one approaches him this way, they might better understand...WHEN TURTLE IS TUGGING ON YOUR PANTS LEG FOR ATTENTION, HE IS ALSO WETTING IN YOUR SHOE. Does that help?????
Turtle is good for everyone's ticker.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Great, great thread to read after errand-chasing. Thanks, all.
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Mickey Spillane and John D. McDonald are all you need. William Dietz, too, although nobody's heard of him.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Yeah, some. Thanks.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.That's the whole novel. I'll write another one tomorrow.
#2. To: Turtle (#0)
That's the whole novel.
#3. To: Cynicom (#1)
You are my favorite author as I love brevity.
#4. To: Turtle, Phant2000 (#0)
#5. To: Cynicom (#4)
When finally he gets around to the interesting ravishing part, it takes him three chapters to describe it in minute detail. All interest is lost, take the "classical" book back to the dusty place at the library.
#6. To: Phant2000 (#2)
Good job ... hurry up on the next one.
#7. To: Turtle (#6)
"Shoot my dog, will you!?!" he said as he shot the cop's testicles off.
#8. To: Phant2000, turtle (#5)
I don't think you're gonna have that problem with the works of Turtle. MUHAHAHAHA
#9. To: Phant2000, Turtle (#7)
#10. To: Cynicom (#4)
#11. To: Turtle (#0)
#12. To: Cynicom (#8)
Dont let this get around but Turtle and me are cuzins.
#13. To: Eric Stratton (#11)
Novel though? shouldn't that be non-fiction?
#14. To: Turtle (#10)
, half- naked Damsels in Distress....what more do you need?
#15. To: Phant2000 (#7)
Oh, my God. And the moral to the story? MUHAHAHAGHAHA
#16. To: Cynicom (#14)
(Edited)
Can you give me the page numbers so I wont have to waste time reading other crap????
#17. To: Turtle, Phant2000 (#15)
Nobody better shoot my dog.
#18. To: Turtle (#13)
#19. To: Cynicom (#17)
Are the other people here aware that you charge Christine ten cents for each post?????
#20. To: Turtle (#16)
(Edited)
I am going to write a 150-page novel about Blood, Beasts and Breasts.
#21. To: Turtle (#19)
She never pays.
#22. To: Cynicom (#20)
Can you give me a brief synopsis of the Breast section here on the 4um????
#23. To: Turtle (#22)
#24. To: Turtle (#16)
It will be scintillating, although I won't use that word in it.
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#25. To: James Deffenbach (#24)
#26. To: James Deffenbach (#24)
(Edited)
Will you use the word titillating in it?
#27. To: Cynicom (#25)
You should not be on this immoral Turtlized thread.
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#28. To: Turtle (#26)
"She titillated him by flopping them around laciviously. He felt a love he had never known before."
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#29. To: James Deffenbach (#28)
It's generally called lust.
#30. To: James Deffenbach (#27)
"Turtlized,"
#31. To: Cynicom (#25)
Bad for your ticker.
#32. To: Turtle, the thread, 4 (#31)
#33. To: Cynicom (#4)
several Russian authors
#34. To: Cynicom (#30)
Does that help?????
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest