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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: Turtle's First Novel
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 11, 2011
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2011-03-11 11:34:42 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 1477
Comments: 34

"Shut up, maggot," evilly cackled the sadistic guard as he ground our hero's face into the dirt with his jackboot. "You're only alive because the State wants you alive!"

That's the whole novel. I'll write another one tomorrow.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 34.

#4. To: Turtle, Phant2000 (#0)

Turtle...

To broaden the horizons of my limited education, I was urged to read works by several Russian authors. I found that impossible. They are wordsmiths of the worst kind. Entire chapter on the description of the dawn, excruciating endless detail. Meanwhile the heroine is downstairs being ravished by a lackey, and the author carries on and on.

When finally he gets around to the interesting ravishing part, it takes him three chapters to describe it in minute detail. All interest is lost, take the "classical" book back to the dusty place at the library.

Cynicom  posted on  2011-03-11   11:46:11 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Cynicom (#4)

No novel needs to be more than 150 pages long.

I was always a big fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs. Monsters, swordights, half- naked Damsels in Distress....what more do you need?

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-11   11:53:39 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: Turtle (#10)

, half- naked Damsels in Distress....what more do you need?

Can you give me the page numbers so I wont have to waste time reading other crap????

Cynicom  posted on  2011-03-11   11:54:57 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: Cynicom (#14) (Edited)

Can you give me the page numbers so I wont have to waste time reading other crap????

I am going to write a 150-page novel about Blood, Beasts and Breasts.

It will be scintillating, although I won't use that word in it.

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-11   11:58:17 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: Turtle (#16)

It will be scintillating, although I won't use that word in it.

Will you use the word titillating in it?

James Deffenbach  posted on  2011-03-11   12:10:37 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: James Deffenbach (#24)

James...

You should not be on this immoral Turtlized thread.

Bad for your ticker.

Cynicom  posted on  2011-03-11   12:11:41 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: Cynicom (#25)

You should not be on this immoral Turtlized thread.

"Turtlized," lol! Thanks for the laugh. That "osmosis of foolishness" was a good 'un too.

James Deffenbach  posted on  2011-03-11   12:16:19 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: James Deffenbach (#27)

"Turtlized,"

James...

Some do not appreciate nor understand, let alone accept Turtle as being human.

I admit there are times when I am mystified as to what makes Turtle tick.

If one approaches him this way, they might better understand...WHEN TURTLE IS TUGGING ON YOUR PANTS LEG FOR ATTENTION, HE IS ALSO WETTING IN YOUR SHOE.

Does that help?????

Cynicom  posted on  2011-03-11   12:23:09 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#34. To: Cynicom (#30)

Does that help?????

Yeah, some. Thanks.

James Deffenbach  posted on  2011-03-11   15:24:50 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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