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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: The Ending of Turtle's First Novel
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 11, 2011
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2011-03-11 15:40:28 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 392
Comments: 9

"Shut up, maggot," evilly cackled the sadistic guard as he ground our hero's face into the dirt with his jackboot. "You're only alive because the State wants you alive!""

His evil cackle turned into a terrified shriek as our hero's love -- her brain encased in a nuclear-powered robodog -- used her nose laser to slice through the bars, removed the guard's gonads with her titanium teeth, and then hurled herself through the opposite window.

Our hero climbed to his feet, muttered "You fascist pig!" to the guard, now curled unconscious in a fetal position, kicked him in his decaying teeth, scattering them throughout the room, then headed out the window after his true love, knowing they would met in the clinic in Switzerland, where her brain would be replaced in the luscious body he knew so well.


Blood, beasts, breasts, romance, true love...I think I'm looking at a best-seller here!

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#1. To: Turtle (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-11   15:49:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Turtle (#0)

Shakespeare and Chaucer would be envious of the talent you possess. 'twould bring a tear to a glass eye. No doubt you will become rich and famous.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2011-03-11   16:27:37 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Turtle, 4 (#0)

Clearly, Turtle's first novel requires a sequel.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-03-11   16:29:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Turtle (#0)

" removed the guard's gonads with her titanium teeth,"

I just HATE women like that!!!!!!!!!

ndcorup  posted on  2011-03-11   17:19:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Turtle (#0)

No, no, no.

Truely great literature (or movies for that matter) must contain sex, gun play, explosions, aliens, cool technology, car chases, aircraft, sex, random frontal nudity, cool terminology and catch phrases.
Preferably in the same scene.

Time for a rewrite.


Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-11   17:51:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Turtle (#0)

then headed out the window after his true love, knowing they would met in the clinic in Switzerland, where her brain would be replaced in the luscious body he knew so well.

But, did they still do it doggy-style?

"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" - Ronald Reagan

Flintlock  posted on  2011-03-11   18:31:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Armadillo (#5) (Edited)

Truely great literature (or movies for that matter) must contain sex, gun play, explosions, aliens, cool technology, car chases, aircraft, sex, random frontal nudity, cool terminology and catch phrases.

Blood...beasts...breasts...nose blaster....flying car....love...lust....razor- sharp titanium teeth...robodog....revenge...sadistic guards...escapes....battles...aliens....missing testicles...what a novel! Woo hoo1

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-12   10:51:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Turtle (#7)

Bring on the breats!

(Thank God and Neil for Edit function.)

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-03-12   10:55:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Lod (#8)

Bring on the breats!

(Thank God and Neil for Edit function.)

Quiet, or the last thing you will ever see is razor-sharp titanium teeth.

"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-12   11:19:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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