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4play See other 4play Articles Title: The FKN Newz - With Deek Jackson - "Earthquake Newsgasm" - Warning! Satirical Adult Speech Content Massive news quake and internet tsunami swamp global media with disaster jisum EU Leaders call for gaddafi to kill more people distracting the public from tyrants we like In the UK prince Andrew is not a fascist royal arms dealer with dick for brains The most powerful news quake on the internet since records began has hit twitter, you tube and face book today triggering a devastating tsunami of online video ,and twitter tweets. News editors rushed to broadcast pictures of the devastation in Japan caused by a natural disaster as other less exciting stories were swamped by a deluge of social media posts and online video. Worst affected is the n east of japan where many people are without coverage of global sporting events or middle east turmoil. World leaders rushed to make statements of vacuous support to those affected, many of them offering to send rapid deployment news teams equipped with special reporting equipment – Heres our natural disaster corespondent – rising death toll Natural disasters are big news , and these days big news is big money. For many years now ratings for news channels have been declining , loss making media giants lamenting the publics disinterest in celebrity gossip , sports bullshit and meaningless press confernce journalism are always on the look out for something juicy to fill there web pages, tv slots and twitter feeds. So let us sit back and watch as mass media masturbation spunks the goo of natural disaster orgasm onto our screens . Multiscreen multi platform jisum shots of building wreckage , water damage, death toll estimates and of course the cost in dollars crooned over like the entrails of sacrificial chicken on a druid holiday. Yes they dont come much bigger than earthquakes and tsunamis. Never mind the ongoing unnatural disaster of consumerism , the annual 150 million dead brown people from starvation or the fraud of global banking – News editors collectively dont give a shit about that and wont be reporting it as long as anything else is available to fill our collective consciousness. Distracting us from information relevant or contingent to our economic slavery and mass mind rape. In these days of multiple delivery platforms the news orgasm can squirt its foamy ejaculate on social media, smart phones, you tube, radio , tv and print. Rest assured this story will come and come and come again as the aftermath glows like a post coital cigarette in the darkness of our ill informed ignorance. This is rising death toll – for the fkn news watching the shit go down. This just in A state of emergency has been declared at a nuclear power plant in Japan, where a fire had broken out after the news quake, officials said there were no radiation leaks, no one had died, everything was under control and you should probabaly go look eleswhere for yout news porn you filthy voyeuristic scum. And you can follow coverage of this very profitable disaster on the internet for weeks and weeks to come – much moron that story later. Leaders of the EU’s 27 member states have said Libya’s Col Mammary Qaddafi must kill more people in order to deflect attention away from murdering tyrrants we like and have been propping up for decades.The EU is holding an emergency summit in Brussels in the hope of looking like they give a shit. The summit comes as protesters in Saudi arabia, yemen, oman, bahrain, UAE, Qutar, Iraq, Afghanistan and pakistan are being shot dead with bullets we supplied , rounded up by police we trained, , teargassed with guns we sold , bombed form the air by planes we make, denied freedoms, we claim to uphold, by rulers we support, while some are even tortured by our own troops. Yes Gaddafi must go – er but not to quickly , wouldn’t it be great if he could hold out long enough for the variety of murdering scum and unelected royals we support across the region, to put down their own troublesome rebellions, while Our leaders all wring their hands and gnash their teeth about Qaddafi – German Chancellor Angela Merkel said it “must be totally clear that somebody who wages war against his own people is no partner for talks with the European Union – er except turkey, or china, or the Saudis , er there ok – Therefore we demand Qaddafi’s immediate and continued castigation , for as long as possible .” British Prime Minister David Cameron said it was important to show unity by all being in the same room while we say things that dont make any difference. In a related story the Duke of York Prince Andrew, isnt under any pressure to stand down as UK trade envoy after a series of revelations about his friendship with fascist nazi bastards and his role in supplying oppressive regimes around the world with arms . There is however some pressure for him to resign because he isnt a totall idiot, an arrogant tosser , a corrupt eminently bribable sleazy dick for brains royal who can barly sell an arab prince a bomb without wanting a backhander.Currently, the Duke of York works with UK Trade & Investment, part of the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills, as the United Kingdom’s Special Representative for BAE arms Trade sales and oil rich tyrrant Investments. This involves the Duke representing the UK at various arms trade fairs and conferences of unelected murderers all over the world – god save the queen and the wafting of her chemical sex hormones over the global arms trade. Thanks and now the weather the planets fkd, its your fault and its getting worse…have a nice weekend
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