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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: I am a reject.
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 12, 2011
Author: eHarmony
Post Date: 2011-03-12 17:21:27 by Armadillo
Keywords: None
Views: 4854
Comments: 54

We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you.

eHarmony's patented matching system was developed after extensive research into marital satisfaction. We use each person's responses to our Relationship Questionnaire to predict the pairings of individuals that are highly likely to result in satisfying long-term relationships, based on what we learned through our research.

Unfortunately, based on responses to our questionnaire, we occasionally find situations where our matching system cannot identify high quality compatible matches, and this has happened in your case. Please understand that it is a result of our matching process and in no way reflects on you as a person or your ability to be in a happy relationship.

We apologize and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights.

We wish you all the best in your search for that special someone.


Poster Comment:

Here is my eHarmony Personality Profile.
There are no women at eHarmony I'm compatible with? Wow.

Agreeableness.
You are best described as: usually taking care of yourself.
Words that describe you: Perceptive, Realistic, Demanding, Down-to-Earth, Hardnosed, Judgmental, Pragmatic, Skeptical.
(I disagree with demanding and judgmental.)

Openness
On the Openness Dimension you are: content.
Words that describe you: Sensible, Realistic, Conventional, Sincere, Simple, Firm, Earnest.

Emotional Stability.
On Emotional Stability you are: steady.
Words that describe you: Relaxed, Even, Unwavering, Constant, Certain, Together, Cool, Detached, Tranquil.
(Me? Steady? LMAO.)

Conscientiousness.
Your approach toward your obligations is: focused and flexible.
Words that describe you: Casual, Informal, Compliant, Reliable, Organized, Solid, Dependable, Uncommitted, Genuine.

Extraversion.
When it comes to Extraversion you are: very reserved.
Words that describe you: Quiet, Reserved, Deliberate, Solitary, Cautious, Guarded, Purposeful, Meditative

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 42.

#5. To: Armadillo (#0)

Try pof.

wudidiz  posted on  2011-03-13   4:08:41 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: wudidiz (#5)

Try pof.

I tried their "psychological assessment" that is supposed to tell me what I really want versus what I say I want.
They say I want a "anchor".

* Someone who's generally calm and low maintenance, but who can also show spontaneity and go on the occasional adventure when circumstances permit.
* Someone who's not overly rigid in what she wants from life personally or professionally, but rather is basically content and can go with the flow when needed.
* Someone who's grounded and has a strong sense of identity, purpose and independence.
* Someone who doesn't want or need to rely on you for economic security but rather comes to the relationship with existing resources.
* Someone who's ready and able to give you freedom and support for your personal or professional goals.
* Someone who demands respect and makes a good impression on others.
* Someone who cares a lot about looking good, and who'll use her physical and sexual assets to the fullest for your enjoyment and who can give you attractive, healthy children.
* Someone who's the envy of others and who'll garner approval from your friends and family, as well make you feel sexier and more attractive when you're together.
I think what I really want is much simpler.
1. She must be female.
2. She should not be uglier than me.
3. She must tell me what she wants without female mind games.
4. She must not be a ho.
5. She must take care of herself hygienically.
6. She must have morals, but not be a stick-in-the-mud.

Is that too much to ask for?

Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-14   1:59:59 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Armadillo, wudidiz (#7)

Is that too much to ask for?

You left out breathing and age.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-03-14   2:10:53 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: farmfriend (#9)

You left out breathing and age.

Yes, she must be breathing. Preferably without assistance, and she should be conscious.
For age, she must be of legal age.
Realistically, young women irritate me because they lack maturity and knowledge about anything other than pop culture. They are fun for sex, but not a relationship.
I think 33-50 would be an acceptable age range for me.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-14   2:37:37 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Armadillo (#10)

I see. So a hole and a heartbeat just isn't good enough for you, eh? Picky, picky. Hahaha

Just kiddin.

wudidiz  posted on  2011-03-14   3:32:14 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: wudidiz (#11)

I see. So a hole and a heartbeat just isn't good enough for you, eh? Picky, picky. Hahaha

There are some days when a heartbeat is optional. ;)

Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-14   19:46:30 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Armadillo (#12)

There are some days when a heartbeat is optional. ;)

For days such as that...........

abraxas  posted on  2011-03-14   19:57:44 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: abraxas, farmfriend (#13) (Edited)

For days such as that...........

Blow up dolls are anatomically wrong. It's like they were designed by a 12 year old boy.
I do have a realistic rubber vulva though...
Still, Armadillo needs a real woman for a real realtionship.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-14   21:39:15 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: Armadillo, abraxas, farmfriend, *Post Of The Day*, *Out There* (#16)

I do have a realistic rubber vulva though...

Too much information...

wudidiz  posted on  2011-03-14   22:46:03 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: All (#17)

*Out There*

(Ideas most people don't want to think about)

lmao times like this I'm reminded why I visit here so often...

wudidiz  posted on  2011-03-14   22:49:00 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: wudidiz, farmfriend (#18)

lmao times like this I'm reminded why I visit here so often...

Did I offend your delicate Canadian sensibilities again?

In real life I'm extremely reserved and shy. The only place I can cut loose is the internet.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-14   23:11:38 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: Armadillo (#19)

deleted

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-14   23:30:46 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: Eric Stratton, Armadillo (#22)

Put Down the realistic rubber vulva and step Away from the computer...

wudidiz  posted on  2011-03-14   23:32:46 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: wudidiz (#24)

deleted

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-14   23:33:29 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: Eric Stratton (#25)

Whatever happened to just havin' a spare hand.

Betty Fivefingers and Rosie Palms get boring after a while.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-14   23:52:23 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#35. To: Armadillo (#26)

deleted

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-15   0:14:56 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#39. To: Eric Stratton (#35)

So natchrally, you waltzed on down to the local Walgreens to pick up a "a realistic rubber vulva", eh.

The XTC Supercenter.
The sell a wide assorment of... very nice products.
Believe me, realistic rubber lady parts are not cheap.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-15   0:31:38 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#42. To: Armadillo (#39)

deleted

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-15   0:34:33 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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