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Title: The Permanent Cure for Babbling Women
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 25, 2011
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2011-03-25 10:59:16 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 392
Comments: 15

Woman: Babble babble babble babble.

Man: Can you please not do that?

Woman: Babble babble babble babble.

Man: You’re being very disrespectful and violating my boundaries.

Woman: Babble babble babble babble.

Man: You’re going to force my hand.

Woman: Babble babble babble babble.

Man: Okay, you asked for it.

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP

Woman: Wah! You spanked me!

Man: Are you going to be quiet now?

Woman: *Sniff* Yes.

Man: Good. Now fix me a sandwich, get me a beer, then draw a hot bath for me.

Woman: Okay.

Man: Ah….peace and quiet…blessed relief.

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#1. To: farmfriend, abraxas, christine, Lady X, AngK (#0)

From now on you may refer to Turtle as "my lord and master."

They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords. Lords without anger and honor, who dare not carry their swords. They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes; They look at our labor and laughter as a tired man looks at flies. - G.K. Chesterton

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-25   11:00:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Turtle (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-25   11:05:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Turtle (#0)

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP

Woman: Wah! You spanked me!

If the Duke does it, it must be right.

"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" - Ronald Reagan

Flintlock  posted on  2011-03-25   11:12:02 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Flintlock (#3)

If the Duke does it, it must be right.

If was legal to spank women it would be a better world.

They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords. Lords without anger and honor, who dare not carry their swords. They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes; They look at our labor and laughter as a tired man looks at flies. - G.K. Chesterton

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-25   11:56:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Turtle, Flintlock, Eric Stratton, Original_Intent (#4)

If was legal to spank women it would be a better world.

It is legal to spank. What I do in my bedroom is none of their business. Wait...I mean...oh well.


The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have been given only the following facts about terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus .... 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-03-25   12:00:04 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: farmfriend (#5) (Edited)

It is legal to spank

I mean spanking obnoxious women in public.

They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords. Lords without anger and honor, who dare not carry their swords. They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes; They look at our labor and laughter as a tired man looks at flies. - G.K. Chesterton

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-25   12:05:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: farmfriend (#5)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-25   13:18:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Turtle (#0)

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-03-25   15:34:11 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Turtle (#4)

If was legal to spank women it would be a better world.

Even comic book illustrators approve:

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-03-25   15:36:14 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Flintlock, X-15 (#3)

As you can see, both the Phantom and John Wayne agree with me.

They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords. Lords without anger and honor, who dare not carry their swords. They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes; They look at our labor and laughter as a tired man looks at flies. - G.K. Chesterton

Turtle  posted on  2011-03-25   16:10:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Eric Stratton (#7)

As long as everyone comes out alive, eh.

fixed


The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have been given only the following facts about terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus .... 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-03-25   17:48:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: Turtle (#10)

As you can see, both the Phantom and John Wayne agree with me.

Gasp..... And Superman

And Ricky & Lucy

And Capt. Kirk!

Anyway of getting Charlton Heston's opinion?

"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" - Ronald Reagan

Flintlock  posted on  2011-03-25   18:32:43 ET  (4 images) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: farmfriend (#11)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-03-25   19:29:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: farmfriend (#5)

It is legal to spank. What I do in my bedroom is none of their business. Wait...I mean...oh well.

I've been very bad lately...


Armadillo  posted on  2011-03-25   23:56:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Armadillo (#14)

I've been very bad lately...

say


The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have been given only the following facts about terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus .... 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-03-25   23:58:38 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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