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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: Armadillo touches a woman.
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Apr 3, 2011
Author: Me
Post Date: 2011-04-04 00:04:17 by Armadillo
Keywords: None
Views: 4158
Comments: 34

This story involves a lesbian sending mixed signals, an incomprehensible deity, Match.com, a turd in a pool, and a hot tub. It ends with a nice lady named Donna.
For some time I've had a crush on my lesbian coworker. Unable to reconcile my feelings, and her mixed signals, I turned to God. At first I thought God would help me get over her, then I thought He wanted us together, now I have no idea. I'm starting to think maybe God doesn't give a crap what I do or don't do regarding my coworker.
So I got tired of second guessing myself, second guessing God, and the lesbians mixed signals, and joined Match.com in hopes of finding a woman. I have had a few nibbles at my profile, but so far nothing promising. There is a hot Asian dentist that seems interested, but she's too good for me. If I'm the best she can do, there must be something wrong with her.

Sunday I made my usual trip to the nudist resort to relax and enjoy nature. The resort is also helping to socialize me and reduce my shyness (I hope). It was a nice day, met some nice people, and it seemed like any other day. In the late afternoon I went to the pool to unwind. I walked around in the water for a while, then stepped on something soft. I looked down to see a large turd disintegrating on the bottom under my foot. I got out of the pool rather quickly.
I showered at the pool and got a little cold, so decided to go to the hot tub. I rarely use the hot tub because it's too hot and makes my heart beat too fast, but I went anyway intending to only stay in a few minutes.
So I grabbed my stuff and walked barefoot the short distance to the hot tub. I didnt want my fecal-tainted foot in my sandals.
At the hot tub I showered my feet again. There were some guys I was familiar with at the tub. So I got in the tub and sat by the water jets, and it felt sooooo good. After a few minutes I started to feel overheated, so I got out and sat on the edge of the hot tub with my feet still in the jets.

A woman entered the tub and sat near where I was. I think she checked out my weenie when she got in.
After a minute she asked if I would mind moving so she could have the jets for her back. I said that's fine and moved over and she got into the jets.
We were quiet for a while then she spoke up and asked about if I visit often and if I was single. She made a point of telling me what time she usually gets to the resort. We talked about work, nudism, and the resort, and had a nice talk.
She's not the kind of girl I would normally be interested in. Nothing wrong with her though. But she seemed interested in me, so... why not?
The sun had set and it was dark (usually when I leave), so I told her it was time for me to go. I told her it was nice to meet her and asked her name.
Her name is Donna, she asked mine and I told her, and she presented her hand. We shook hands and I left.
Then I realized, that's the first time I've touched a woman in... way too long.
I'll be looking for Donna again.


Poster Comment:

I really need a "To much information" ping list.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 8.

#4. To: Armadillo (#0)

I think she checked out my weenie when she got in.

Did it look like a Vienna Sausage?

sorry - couldn't resist, as I'm hung like a newborn baby.

Fred Mertz  posted on  2011-04-04   0:15:46 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Fred Mertz, Armadillo (#4)

Did it look like a Vienna Sausage?

sorry - couldn't resist, as I'm hung like a newborn baby.

Armadillos have very large penises. If the armadillo were human he would have a 4' penis. We often joke about this but I've actually seen the real Armadillo. He has something to offer believe me.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-04-04   0:28:27 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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