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Title: The Scientifically Engineered Worst Song in the World (not dialup or ear friendly)
Source: [None]
URL Source: http://blogs.houstonpress.com/rocks ... _scientifically_engineered.php
Published: Apr 9, 2011
Author: .
Post Date: 2011-04-09 10:38:13 by PSUSA
Ping List: *Ban BSUSA*     Subscribe to *Ban BSUSA*
Keywords: None
Views: 250
Comments: 7

img.houstonpress.com/player/?i=3025773 to load the player.


Crazy science, will you ever learn? Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Sure, we could start transplanting monkey heads on humans, but you shouldn't. The atom bomb sure as hell ended World War II, but it began an era of atomic fear and guilt. We ended up with all kinds of hassles, like communism and bad Schwarzenegger movies.

This brings us to the crack team of Dave Soldier and Komar & Melamid, who scientifically created the world's worst song. It clocks in at over 20 minutes. The trio has a Web site where they asked visitors to list their most hated sounds, be they operatic hip-hop with cowboy lyrics, swelling harps or marching-band music from hell. They claim that "fewer than 200 individuals of the world's total population will enjoy this," but released it anyhow.

800px-Clay_Aiken_Merrillville_06-12-02.jpg Judy Butler Watch out Clay - someone's gaining on you... The site gets very scientific and is hella confusing. The guys basically used the thought behind software that figures out the most desirable musical tones, and went the sadistic route by doing the opposite. The result is elevator music for schizophrenics and those enduring acid flashbacks.

We just listened to the track in full, and it's not bad per se - that is, provided you dig batshit, emotionally jarring music, where children sing about Easter shopping at Walmart. It also features plenty of oompah horns and bagpipes, so at least it's multiculturally offensive. (That's not even mentioning the Dracula organ dirges, either.)

The world can gather around and hate it together. Also, you may never think of Yom Kippur the same way ever again. Nonetheless, it's funny, too, in a Dadaist way. This would definitely be a perfect Valentine's gift for your absurdist boyfriend who did his final U of H art project by donning a meat helmet and officiating a mass pet marriage on Discovery Green.

And we always thought the worst song in the world was whatever Clay Aiken was singing at the moment. Subscribe to *Ban BSUSA*

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#1. To: All (#0)

I'm pretty sure that I heard screeching cats. There's opera, opera/rap fusion, bagpipes, organs, little kids, banjo, a little bit of everything. It just goes on and on and on.

This is so bad it's funny.


Click for Privacy and Preparedness files
The 14 Words: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White Children." -David Lane

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” -Seneca

PSUSA  posted on  2011-04-09   10:38:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: PSUSA (#1)

once the woman started to sing, i had to turn it off. just awful!

christine  posted on  2011-04-09   11:01:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: christine (#2)

It would make for a great practical joke.

Burn it on a CD and play it in the car. It would drive the passengers nuts, especially if I acted like I thought it was the greatest thing since Led Zep, tapping the wheel to the beat, dancing in the seat, singing along, etc.

I dont think it can be save though.

.


Click for Privacy and Preparedness files
The 14 Words: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White Children." -David Lane

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” -Seneca

PSUSA  posted on  2011-04-09   11:20:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: PSUSA (#0)

I found the lyrics

Yo I'm ropin' up my saddle For the long, long ride Every time I see the desert There's something inside says Yo! Yo! This is the life Give me open land and a Big ol' knife to get some Bear, deer--even a snake I light me a fire Do the shake and bake I say Yo! Yo! I'm a cowboy now The sun is hot and dry Gonna rope me a cow I say Yo! Yo! I'm loose and free Whoa there Nelly You're the horse for me!

Rope 'em up boys The desert is a callin' Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo Saddle up fellas The desert is a callin' Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo

Christmas time! Christmas time! Jesus, Mary, and the manger Christmas time, Family time, Do all your shopping, at Wal-Mart!

Easter Time! Easter Time! Love, forgiveness, and the bunnies! Easter Time! Chocolate Time! Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Out on the plains Just me and my mind Took me a break To read some Wittgenstein Born in Vienna in '89 He obsessed with theories Of language and time Like the "Tractatus" Where Ludwig would claim "The logic of our language Is misunderstood" Philosophy is based On a false pretense So philosophy itself Is nonsense, nonse! Philosophy itself is non-sense!

Bedeutung ist tun Es ist ein Sprachspiel Nonsense! Nonsense! Wörter sind Inhalt Yahoo! Yahoo!

Yom Kippur! Yom Kippur! Self reflection and atonement Yom Kippur, that's what for Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Oh say can you-- Feel the embers glowing And the turkey in the oven! America! Hear the children singing There's a turkey in the oven! Rockets red glare! Candles are so pretty And a turkey in the oven! Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart! Buy spurs that jingle at Wal-Mart!

Ramadan! Ramadan! Lots of praying with no breakfast! Ramadan, so much fun! Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

It's home, home On the big ol' range Yipee tai oh Get along there stranger Rope 'em, ride 'em Shoot 'em up good We're big and bad In the cowboy 'hood I say Yo! Yo! Got a river to ford With a life like this I never be bored I say Yo! Yo! I'm wild and free Whoa Miss Kitty You're the gal for me!

Whoa Miss Kitty I say whoa there Whoa Miss Kitty Yahoo! Yahoo!

Labor Day! Labor Day! Schools are closed and Pools are open! Labor Day! All the way! Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Oh say can you-- Grandma's on the phone Go and tell her that you love her! America! Daddy's on the phone Go and tell him that you love him! The Golden Land! Sister's on the phone Go and tell her that you love her! Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Veteran's Day! Veteran's Day! Big parade with guns and soldiers Veteran's Day! What's there to say? Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Halloween! Halloween! Candy corn for lunch and dinner! Halloween, what a scream! Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Look out there It's an Injun band! Coming this way Gonna fight for my land And build a home town Grocery store American cheese Worth fighting for Call it "dry gulch" O.K. Corral Holiday Spot For you and your gal To get some cool shit And desert rays Cowboy living' the American Way It's a cowboy living Go! Go! It's cowboy living Go! Go! It's cowboy living All the way!

Rope 'em up boys! The desert is a callin'! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

Saddle up fellas! The desert is a callin'! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

People! Coming together out of a desire to obtain political power! Vice Presidential Candidate! Twenty- seven electoral votes! Central policy issues! Two party system! Struggle! Gain control of the government! Executive branch! Military branch! Foreign affairs! Influence policy! Promote ideology-- fascism! Promote individual interests-- George Stephanopoulous! Imelda Marcos! Promote special interests-- Sugar! Beef! Bananas! Lumber! Pork bellies! Pork barrels! Coca-Cola! The information superhighway! Three thousand years of oppression!

Who enslaved humans of color? Who invaded the Carribbean? Who murdered all the innocent children?! You did! You! You! You!

It may be you It could be me It's not enough To wait and see And when we all Lock arms and sing Then bells of freedom Ring ding ding!

strepsiptera  posted on  2011-04-09   11:45:04 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: christine (#2)

once the woman started to sing, i had to turn it off. just awful!

Was it Yoko Ono?

formerly GJones.

InsideJob  posted on  2011-04-09   12:02:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: PSUSA (#1)

I know a worse one.

They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords. Lords without anger and honor, who dare not carry their swords. They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes; They look at our labor and laughter as a tired man looks at flies. - G.K. Chesterton

Turtle  posted on  2011-04-09   12:24:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: PSUSA (#0)

What little I listened to was kind of soothing.


Armadillo  posted on  2011-04-09   23:09:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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