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Title: BLEACHING HAIR CAUSES BRAIN DAMAGE
Source:
www.uncoveror.com
URL Source: http://www.uncoveror.com/bleaching,html
Published: Apr 21, 2011
Author: unknown
Post Date: 2011-04-21 12:18:44 by sizzlerguy
Keywords: hair bleach, brain damage, vanity, blonds
Views: 1019
Comments: 4
According to Dr. Martin Pratt of Brandine University, and Dr. Benjamin Staines of the Center for the Institute of Studies, hair bleaching causes brain damage. Hydrogen peroxide, the key ingredient, will seep into the skull, and kill brain cells. "We have all heard the jokes about dumb blonds, and I wondered if they were really all dizzy," said Dr. Pratt. "I decided to do a scientific study. I met many blonds who matched the stereotype, and other blonds who clearly did not. It was not long before I noticed an uncanny pattern. Natural blonds were not dumb or dizzy at all. Many of them were highly intelligent, coordinated, and sensible. Bleach blonds demonstrated negative traits like being dim-witted, vain, shallow, gullible, and generally dizzy. I had a colleague of mine, Dr. Staines, perform studies to confirm my findings, and he did. Bleach blonds are dumb because they suffer from peroxide poisoning." "When I started my own study to confirm Dr. Pratt's findings," explained Dr. Staines, "I decided to check men as well, since hair bleaching and dyeing are becoming popular with both sexes. Men, too are suffering from loss of their mental abilities through the use of hair dyes and other bleaches. Bleach is far worse than other hair colors, as it contains a lot more peroxide. Men who bleached their hair wer prone to grunting and high-fiving a lot, had difficulty remembering simple things like names, and seemed to have a penchant for injuring themselves performing stupid stunts." Dr. Pratt and Dr. Staines both agree that the use of hair bleach will be an increasing problem in the future. "We are going to have to start building more nursing homes," commented Dr. Pratt. "As more and more people in our image obsessed culture use hair bleach, more and more will become mentally incompetent at even younger ages, and will just not be capable of taking care of themselves. We may even have to start up more idiot asylums, and commit chronically stupid people. With serious ailments, like brain damage, you're going to want to consult a health professional. But if you have mild symptoms then maybe looking up some health information on some kind of health info website might save you some time.
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#1. To: sizzlerguy (#0)
This explains about a dozen or so crazy people I know.
It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not. - Tommy The Mad Artist. I went to Chernobyl, and all I got was this glow in the dark T-shirt. - Tommy The Mad Artist.
Uh-huh. But were they stupid as a result of bleaching their hair or did they bleach their hair because they were stupid. I call bogus science.
Hear, hear. You gotta justify that grant somehow, and turning in such compelling findings for cutting-edge science like this proves you get what you pay for.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.
There are different kinds of bleaches, and if I had to use one, I would prefer peroxide (H2O2) over chlorine. It can have positive health benefits when used properly. The concentration of peroxide over just plain water does matter though. This article is satirical though. There are just too many funny lines in it. Democrats don't mind war as long as they can have big government. Republicans don't mind big government as long as they can have war.
#2. To: sizzlerguy (#0)
"...Men who bleached their hair were prone to grunting and high-fiving a lot, had difficulty remembering simple things like names, and seemed to have a penchant for injuring themselves performing stupid stunts."
#3. To: TooConservative (#2)
I call bogus science.
#4. To: sizzlerguy (#0)
Men who bleached their hair were prone to grunting and high-fiving a lot, had difficulty remembering simple things like names, and seemed to have a penchant for injuring themselves performing stupid stunts."
If you believe in small government, then you shouldn't be in the White House.
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