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Title: Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
Source: Telegraph UK
URL Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new ... having-sex-with-1000-cars.html
Published: May 19, 2011
Author: staff
Post Date: 2011-05-19 21:32:43 by abraxas
Keywords: None
Views: 888
Comments: 41

Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.

12:20PM BST 21 May 2008

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California

Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums. (1 image)

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#2. To: Lod, abraxas, *Deviant Sex* (#1)

Why isn't this filed under Ya Gotta Be Shitting Me?

don't we have a ping list for this?


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   22:20:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: abraxas (#0)

What is it about perverts that make them believe they have to share their perversions with others?

I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. - Benjamin Franklin

F.A. Hayek Fan  posted on  2011-05-19   22:22:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Lod (#1)

Why isn't this filed under Ya Gotta Be Shitting Me?

It's even more disturbing that there's a whole group of them out there...how can I protect the Subaru? Or the Thing? That little Thing is so cute, I now have safety concerns for her....and wait until the pink camo paint job is done, she'll be irresistible. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-05-19   22:29:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: abraxas (#4)

LOL


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   22:34:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: F.A. Hayek Fan (#3)

What is it about perverts that make them believe they have to share their perversions with others?

That's the exhibitionist dimension of their nuttiness, they've got to let their freak-flag fly.

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-05-19   22:34:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: X-15, F.A. Hayek Fan (#6)

That's the exhibitionist dimension of their nuttiness,

There is nothing wrong with a little exhibitionism.


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   22:36:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: X-15 (#6)

The dude is carrying some set of lug nuts.

Jethro Tull  posted on  2011-05-19   22:39:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: farmfriend, abraxas (#2)

Not to pry but have either of you women ever met a man as weird as this one when you were single?

The Truth of 911 Shall Set You Free From The Lie

Horse  posted on  2011-05-19   22:39:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: F.A. Hayek Fan (#3)

What is it about perverts that make them believe they have to share their perversions with others?

It's sort of creepy......

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-05-19   22:41:05 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Horse, abraxas (#9)

Not to pry but have either of you women ever met a man as weird as this one when you were single?

Not when I was single.


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   22:41:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: abraxas, F.A. Hayek Fan (#10)

It's sort of creepy......

ah come on, share!


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   22:42:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: abraxas, *Deviant Sex* (#0)

This is one for deviant sex ping list, no?


SolvoSermo.Com Free speech Video Hosting
Sewer Service Schenectady, NY Welding and fabrication Amsterdam, NY

Critter  posted on  2011-05-19   22:43:28 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: Critter, abraxas (#13)

This is one for deviant sex ping list, no?

I beat ya to it!


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   22:44:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Horse (#9)

Not to pry but have either of you women ever met a man as weird as this one when you were single?

None so weird as this guy, but it doesn't sound like he did much socializing beyond the parking lot. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-05-19   22:44:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: Critter (#13)

This is one for deviant sex ping list, no?

The auto-erotica ping list?

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936 2011)

Esso  posted on  2011-05-19   22:47:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: Esso (#16)

The auto-erotica ping list

LOL


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   22:51:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: abraxas, farmfriend (#10)

It's sort of creepy......

OMG, you left the door open just a bit there....

;-)

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-05-19   22:53:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: Esso, Critter, farmfriend, abraxas, christine, octavia, Phant2000, angK (#16)

for the ladies

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-05-19   22:57:09 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: abraxas (#4)

......and wait until the pink camo paint job is done, she'll be irresistible. : )

Any car that paints herself up like that is just asking for it.

Isn't the internet wonderful when all sorts of interesting people can meet up? People who have sex with cars now have their own support groups. Maybe they could get some nice federal funding to promote awareness of their automotive lifestyle.

TooConservative  posted on  2011-05-19   22:57:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: abraxas (#0)

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

So he was "married" for five years with Jehovah's Witness in-laws.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

Now a "divorced" guy, he just goes in for hookups, like an automotive Cassanova.

TooConservative  posted on  2011-05-19   23:02:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: TooConservative (#21)

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

Now a "divorced" guy, he just goes in for hookups, like an automotive Cassanova.

He claims 1000 cars, he's a fucking serial-rapist, somebody get him off the streets/car-lots/leather interiors.....

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-05-19   23:05:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: X-15 (#19)

Stop it!! My auto erotica zone is aroused. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-05-19   23:21:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: abraxas, farmfriend (#0)

Wow. And people think I'm weird. Wow.

I've had sex with plenty of inanimate objects, but never a car. I dont think I want to either... sharp edges.
Where does he stick his wang anyway? My car doesnt seem to have any yonic orifices.

Word of the day- Yonic. The opposite of phalic.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-05-19   23:30:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: TooConservative (#20)

Any car that paints herself up like that is just asking for it.

Maybe they could get some nice federal funding to promote awareness of their automotive lifestyle.

lol.....it's a she Thing. You can't blame her for being beautiful.

Yes, and get some speech protection from the ADL too. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-05-19   23:33:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: X-15 (#19)

LOL


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-19   23:38:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: abraxas (#0)

Well..... as long as both parties consent....

Pinguinite  posted on  2011-05-20   0:11:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: Pinguinite, All (#27)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-05-20   0:26:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#29. To: Eric Stratton, Pinguinite, (#28)

Just keep the gas tank doors shut!

He'll just get a little tail...pipe.


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-20   0:31:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: farmfriend (#29)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-05-20   7:39:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#31. To: Eric Stratton, farmfriend (#30)

What if he's riding the console gearshift knob??

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-05-20   12:28:00 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#32. To: X-15 (#31)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-05-20   14:31:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#33. To: X-15 (#31)

spinner


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-20   22:10:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#34. To: abraxas, farmfriend, all (#0)

There is another news story about a guy with the same car love.
It has a photo of him screwing a Range Rover.

CLICK HERE.
Warning- Viewing the photo may cause your retina to detach from the horror.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-05-20   22:45:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#35. To: Armadillo (#34)

Oh, my eyes!! I can see why the guy might have a hard time connecting with women. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-05-20   22:52:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#36. To: Armadillo, abraxas (#34)

Look what you started!


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-20   23:15:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#37. To: farmfriend, abraxas (#36)

Look what you started!

It's not just men who get naughty with cars...

CLICK HERE.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-05-20   23:44:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#38. To: farmfriend, Armadillo (#36) (Edited)

Bill and Monica approve of where this thread is going!!

__________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?"

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-05-20   23:53:21 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#39. To: Armadillo, abraxas, X-15 (#37)

It's not just men who get naughty with cars...

I think I'll stick to Armadillos.


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-21   1:16:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#40. To: farmfriend (#39)

I think I'll stick to Armadillos.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-05-21   2:43:03 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#41. To: Armadillo (#40)

LOL


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

farmfriend  posted on  2011-05-21   12:29:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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