Title: Need Help Understanding Women? Source:
email URL Source:[None] Published:May 31, 2011 Author:. Post Date:2011-05-31 11:55:37 by James Deffenbach Keywords:None Views:406 Comments:46
I finally got the manual that will help men understand women better. Let me know if you need a copy!
Poster Comment:
My sister sent me this in email and I wrote her back and told her that I doubted that was a complete "owner's manual," more like a condensed version.
Yeah, I got a chuckle out of it. And my sister told me that she and one of her co- workers had the same thought I did, that it probably wasn't complete.
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb... -------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." -------------------------------------- "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. -------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor -------------------------------------- A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! -------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. -------------------------------------- Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. -------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. -------------------------------------- Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. -------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"