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Title: Need Help Understanding Women?
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Published: May 31, 2011
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Post Date: 2011-05-31 11:55:37 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 914
Comments: 46
I finally got the manual that will help men understand women better. Let me know if you need a copy! Poster Comment: My sister sent me this in email and I wrote her back and told her that I doubted that was a complete "owner's manual," more like a condensed version.
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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
cute ;)
Yeah, I got a chuckle out of it. And my sister told me that she and one of her co- workers had the same thought I did, that it probably wasn't complete.
One for the ladies One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" And they say blondes are dumb... Q: Why do little boys whine?
God was walking through the Garden of Eden and came upon Eve. She was crying. God asked, "My dear, whatever is wrong?" Eve replied, "It's these three breasts you gave me. The outside breasts get caught on the vines and the thorns and it's very painful. God said, "I can fix that." So he removed the middle breast and threw it in the bushes. Eve was very happy. The next day God came upon Eve in the Garden again and she was crying. God asked, "My dear, whatever is wrong?" Eve replied, " All the animals in the Garden are in pairs, but I am on my own. I am very lonely. God said, "I can fix that, I'll make a mate for you." God started looking through the bushes, and said, "Now, what did I do with that useless tit?"
HAH! hahahaha, LOL Good one! Thanks!
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#2. To: christine (#1)
#4. To: James Deffenbach (#2)
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
#41. To: farmfriend (#4)
One for the ladies
#44. To: angK (#41)
"Now, what did I do with that useless tit?"
#45. To: farmfriend (#44)
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