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Title: Turtle Gets a Review on his 99 Cent eBook!
Source: http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Full-Doofuses-ebook/dp/B0058KRK
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jul 5, 2011
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2011-07-05 13:23:31 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 1590
Comments: 61

Bob Wallace knows how to tell a story.

If you remember the Fractured Fairy Tales from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show then you'll love A Planet Full of Doofuses by Bob Wallace. It's a decade's worth of bemused Aesopian wit aimed at America's mass-media-mongered political and cultural mentality. Through talking dogs, pistol-packing Grannies and an ongoing bid for the Kingship of the USA Bob melds humor, insight and an eclectic educational and professional background to revive the parable for the 21st century. A Planet Full of Doofuses is so fun you won't notice how much you've learned until you catch yourself explaining history, science, economics, literature and Barsoom to the doofuses around you. Get it. Know what others don't.


Poster Comment:

One is better than zero. I doubt I sell enough to retire and give up my life of crime.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


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#12. To: Turtle (#7)

A lapdog gets just revenge on a corrupt police officer, a man encounters an alien with one big eye and two big feet, a pug writes his diary, two guys are ecstatic when the Rapture happens (and not the way you might think), I realize my left big toe just might be abouit 30,000 years old, a grandmother hospitalizes six rude airport security guards, how science fiction saved me from Hell...altogether 27 articles.

All this ebook is a re-bundling of your threads here on 4um. Why should I pay one thin dime for it when I can get the cow for free?

"In a free society we're supposed to know the truth," ... "In a society where truth becomes treason, then we're in big trouble. And now, people who are revealing the truth are getting into trouble for it" -- Ron Paul, circa 2010-12-02

buckeroo  posted on  2011-07-05   15:43:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Critter, abraxas, Turtle, Tom, 4 (#11)
(Edited)

I learned that we can't buy the book unless we buy a Kindle (whatever that is), or some other i-type device to read it.

Why can't I buy it anyway? (And stave off a crime wave.)

I've read most of the essays here, gratis.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-05   15:45:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: abraxas, Turtle (#9)

Tom Novak indeed! That's the sort of name given to the saucy epic hero in a romance novel who flaunts his six pack abs while making the ladies weak in the knees. I bet this Tom Novak had a forbidden love affair with a mermaid while shark hunting too....made her weak in the fin. lol

LOL! You reckon his other name is Tom Turtle?

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.    Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein

James Deffenbach  posted on  2011-07-05   18:30:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Turtle, abraxas (#5)

so does Tom Novak now kill sharks as a lint brush for tuxedos salesman?


the most factual thing ever posted by buckeroo
I have no freaking' clue. buckeroo posted on 2010-07-24 21:33:00 ET

IRTorqued  posted on  2011-07-05   21:00:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: abraxas (#9)

Tom Novak indeed! That's the sort of name given to the saucy epic hero in a romance novel who flaunts his six pack abs while making the ladies weak in the knees. I bet this Tom Novak had a forbidden love affair with a mermaid while shark hunting too....made her weak in the fin. lol

lol! you're the one who should be writing ebooks! :P

christine  posted on  2011-07-05   23:12:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: Critter (#11)

Actually, they call hm critter.

hehehehehehe...cracking up.

christine  posted on  2011-07-05   23:13:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: Lod (#13)

my mom is an avid reader and now has a kindle. She loves it.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-05   23:18:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: buckeroo (#12)

All this ebook is a re-bundling of your threads here on 4um.

Nope, not even close.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   11:27:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: Lod (#13)

I learned that we can't buy the book unless we buy a Kindle (whatever that is), or some other i-type device to read it.

You can download Kindle software for free from Google and read it on your computer.

That's what I did, since a lot of public domain books use the Kindle software.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   11:29:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: abraxas (#9)

Tom Novak indeed! That's the sort of name given to the saucy epic hero in a romance novel who flaunts his six pack abs while making the ladies weak in the knees. I bet this Tom Novak had a forbidden love affair with a mermaid while shark hunting too....made her weak in the fin. lol

You can see pictures of Tom at Facebook.

He looks a bit like a Mad Scientist.

He is a former scuba driver and has killed sharks with a bang stick when they came too close to him.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   11:33:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: Turtle, abraxas (#21)

You can see pictures of Tom at Facebook.

No, you can't.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   11:42:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: IRTorqued (#15)

so does Tom Novak now kill sharks as a lint brush for tuxedos salesman?

He gave up scuba diving years ago after blowing his ears out when some novice driver panicked and tried to make it to the surface too fast and Tom went after him.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   11:54:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: farmfriend (#22)

No, you can't.

Do I have to do everything around here?

See? Boat! Former scuba driver.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:05:45 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: farmfriend, Turtle (#22)

You can see pictures of Tom at Facebook.

No, you can't.

No need to go to Facebook. Tom Novak looks like your average raven haired hunk with chiseled features found on your average romance novel cover.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:23:15 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: abraxas (#25)

No need to go to Facebook. Tom Novak looks like your average raven haired hunk with chiseled features found on your average romance novel cover

You might want to look at the picture above....

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:24:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: Turtle, Farmfriend (#24)

Tom Novak looked a hell of a lot hunkier in my imagination. Turtle had to go and mess it all up with a non-fiction picture. lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:24:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: abraxas (#27)

Tom Novak looked a hell of a lot hunkier in my imagination. Turtle had to go and mess it all up with a non-fiction picture. lol

Tom and I could be brothers.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:25:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#29. To: Turtle (#26)

You might want to look at the picture above....

No!! I do not want to look Turtle. I prefer my hunky raven haired, chiseled, six pack ab version of Tom Novak.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:26:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: abraxas (#29)

No!! I do not want to look Turtle. I prefer my hunky raven haired, chiseled, six pack ab version of Tom Novak.

Females are so pitiful at times.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:28:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#31. To: christine (#16)

Tom Novak indeed! That's the sort of name given to the saucy epic hero in a romance novel who flaunts his six pack abs while making the ladies weak in the knees. I bet this Tom Novak had a forbidden love affair with a mermaid while shark hunting too....made her weak in the fin. lol

lol! you're the one who should be writing ebooks! :P

Romance novels are women's pornography.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:31:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#32. To: Turtle (#30)

They called him Killjoy because he looked like Killjoy and he talked like Killjoy and he walked like Killjoy and on the day that he was born his mother felt an overwhelming wave of Killjoy. lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:35:52 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#33. To: abraxas (#32)

They called him Killjoy because he looked like Killjoy and he talked like Killjoy and he walked like Killjoy and on the day that he was born his mother felt an overwhelming wave of Killjoy. lol

Hello? Hello? (knock knock) Earth to Abraxas....

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:37:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#34. To: Turtle (#33)

Killjoy should go have some fun today......maybe a little skateboarding.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:40:17 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#35. To: farmfriend (#18)

my mom is an avid reader and now has a kindle. She loves it.

I've heard you can store about 5000 books on it.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:41:04 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#36. To: abraxas (#34)

......maybe a little skateboarding.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:43:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#37. To: christine (#16)

hehehehehe. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   13:00:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#38. To: Turtle (#24)

you can't see his pictures unless you are his friend. that's the way he has it set up.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   17:50:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#39. To: abraxas (#34)

oh that's a keeper.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   17:52:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#40. To: Turtle (#36)

I may have to have one.

Way, way too cute.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   17:57:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#41. To: Lod, Turtle (#40)

I may have to have one.

Way, way too cute.

you should see the teacup long haired chihuahua that hangs out at our house. Now that is cute. I need to get pictures.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   18:00:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#42. To: farmfriend turtle, 4 (#41)

Any smaller than a pug, I might step on it and crush it.

We're kinda big dogs here.

But a pug would be interesting.

I may check pug rescue to find a really zoned-out one.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   18:42:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#43. To: Turtle, abraxas, farmfriend (#0)

I must say it's actually a good, creative, collection of stories. I'm enjoying it.

I wrote a short review at Amazon last week but they did not post it.
Probably because I dont have a cool sounding name like Tom Novak.

I need an alias, maybe Dan Steel. Then I could get layed, maybe.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-06   21:32:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#44. To: Armadillo, Turtle, abraxas (#43)

I need an alias, maybe Dan Steel. Then I could get layed, maybe.

change it to Plays Naked.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   21:36:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#45. To: Armadillo (#43)

I need an alias, maybe Dan Steel. Then I could get layed, maybe.

Dan? No, no, no......Dan is too dainty for the saucy, sex appeal necessary for our lusty romance novel stud. Steel is good though.

You need more power in the first for your alias.......like Sergio Steel. Sergio is saucy!! Or, if that one is too ethnic we could go with Trent Steel. Trent's a bit less ethnic with that macho saucy romance stud feel. Yeah, Trent "Armadillo" Steel......that's the ticket!!

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   21:44:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#46. To: farmfriend (#44) (Edited)

change it to Plays Naked.

That's my "indian name". lol.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-06   21:47:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#47. To: abraxas (#45)

Sergio is saucy!! Or, if that one is too ethnic we could go with Trent Steel. Trent's a bit less ethnic with that macho saucy romance stud feel. Yeah, Trent "Armadillo" Steel......that's the ticket!!

Ab, DAN STEEL as in STEELY DAN.
Youve seen me, do I look like a Sergio or Trent? lol.
Trent is too upscale.
How about Sebastian Steel? Sophisticated, sexy, cool, and slightly evil.

Sebastian Steel is the most interesting man in the world.
He walks nude in public, yet still has a shy bladder.
"I dont always drink beer, but when I do... I mix it with fruit juice."



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-06   21:59:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#48. To: abraxas (#45)

Jack Hammer.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   22:02:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#49. To: Lod (#48)

Jack Hammer.

I like it.....it's rough and manly and exudes much testosterone. lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   22:08:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#50. To: Armadillo (#47)

How about Sebastian Steel? Sophisticated, sexy, cool, and slightly evil.

"I dont always drink beer, but when I do... I mix it with fruit juice."

Yes, Sebastian is saucy. But, how is it slightly evil?

Damien, now Damien is slightly evil....Damien Steel. Maybe, more than slightly.

Shy bladder Sebastian likes his beer with fruit juice......lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   22:11:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#51. To: abraxas (#49)

Let's stop.

Sincerely, Pyle Dryver and Rocke Harde

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   22:17:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#52. To: Lod (#51)

Sincerely, Pyle Dryver and Rocke Harde

lol.....Ron Jeremy must have played those roles in a couple of films.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   22:23:37 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  



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