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Title: Turtle Gets a Review on his 99 Cent eBook!
Source: http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Full-Doofuses-ebook/dp/B0058KRK
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jul 5, 2011
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2011-07-05 13:23:31 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 2549
Comments: 61

Bob Wallace knows how to tell a story.

If you remember the Fractured Fairy Tales from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show then you'll love A Planet Full of Doofuses by Bob Wallace. It's a decade's worth of bemused Aesopian wit aimed at America's mass-media-mongered political and cultural mentality. Through talking dogs, pistol-packing Grannies and an ongoing bid for the Kingship of the USA Bob melds humor, insight and an eclectic educational and professional background to revive the parable for the 21st century. A Planet Full of Doofuses is so fun you won't notice how much you've learned until you catch yourself explaining history, science, economics, literature and Barsoom to the doofuses around you. Get it. Know what others don't.


Poster Comment:

One is better than zero. I doubt I sell enough to retire and give up my life of crime.

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#21. To: abraxas (#9)

Tom Novak indeed! That's the sort of name given to the saucy epic hero in a romance novel who flaunts his six pack abs while making the ladies weak in the knees. I bet this Tom Novak had a forbidden love affair with a mermaid while shark hunting too....made her weak in the fin. lol

You can see pictures of Tom at Facebook.

He looks a bit like a Mad Scientist.

He is a former scuba driver and has killed sharks with a bang stick when they came too close to him.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   11:33:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: Turtle, abraxas (#21)

You can see pictures of Tom at Facebook.

No, you can't.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   11:42:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: IRTorqued (#15)

so does Tom Novak now kill sharks as a lint brush for tuxedos salesman?

He gave up scuba diving years ago after blowing his ears out when some novice driver panicked and tried to make it to the surface too fast and Tom went after him.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   11:54:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: farmfriend (#22)

No, you can't.

Do I have to do everything around here?

See? Boat! Former scuba driver.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:05:45 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: farmfriend, Turtle (#22)

You can see pictures of Tom at Facebook.

No, you can't.

No need to go to Facebook. Tom Novak looks like your average raven haired hunk with chiseled features found on your average romance novel cover.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:23:15 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: abraxas (#25)

No need to go to Facebook. Tom Novak looks like your average raven haired hunk with chiseled features found on your average romance novel cover

You might want to look at the picture above....

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:24:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: Turtle, Farmfriend (#24)

Tom Novak looked a hell of a lot hunkier in my imagination. Turtle had to go and mess it all up with a non-fiction picture. lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:24:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: abraxas (#27)

Tom Novak looked a hell of a lot hunkier in my imagination. Turtle had to go and mess it all up with a non-fiction picture. lol

Tom and I could be brothers.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:25:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#29. To: Turtle (#26)

You might want to look at the picture above....

No!! I do not want to look Turtle. I prefer my hunky raven haired, chiseled, six pack ab version of Tom Novak.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:26:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: abraxas (#29)

No!! I do not want to look Turtle. I prefer my hunky raven haired, chiseled, six pack ab version of Tom Novak.

Females are so pitiful at times.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:28:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#31. To: christine (#16)

Tom Novak indeed! That's the sort of name given to the saucy epic hero in a romance novel who flaunts his six pack abs while making the ladies weak in the knees. I bet this Tom Novak had a forbidden love affair with a mermaid while shark hunting too....made her weak in the fin. lol

lol! you're the one who should be writing ebooks! :P

Romance novels are women's pornography.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:31:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#32. To: Turtle (#30)

They called him Killjoy because he looked like Killjoy and he talked like Killjoy and he walked like Killjoy and on the day that he was born his mother felt an overwhelming wave of Killjoy. lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:35:52 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#33. To: abraxas (#32)

They called him Killjoy because he looked like Killjoy and he talked like Killjoy and he walked like Killjoy and on the day that he was born his mother felt an overwhelming wave of Killjoy. lol

Hello? Hello? (knock knock) Earth to Abraxas....

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:37:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#34. To: Turtle (#33)

Killjoy should go have some fun today......maybe a little skateboarding.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   12:40:17 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#35. To: farmfriend (#18)

my mom is an avid reader and now has a kindle. She loves it.

I've heard you can store about 5000 books on it.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:41:04 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#36. To: abraxas (#34)

......maybe a little skateboarding.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-06   12:43:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#37. To: christine (#16)

hehehehehe. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   13:00:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#38. To: Turtle (#24)

you can't see his pictures unless you are his friend. that's the way he has it set up.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   17:50:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#39. To: abraxas (#34)

oh that's a keeper.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   17:52:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#40. To: Turtle (#36)

I may have to have one.

Way, way too cute.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   17:57:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#41. To: Lod, Turtle (#40)

I may have to have one.

Way, way too cute.

you should see the teacup long haired chihuahua that hangs out at our house. Now that is cute. I need to get pictures.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   18:00:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#42. To: farmfriend turtle, 4 (#41)

Any smaller than a pug, I might step on it and crush it.

We're kinda big dogs here.

But a pug would be interesting.

I may check pug rescue to find a really zoned-out one.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   18:42:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#43. To: Turtle, abraxas, farmfriend (#0)

I must say it's actually a good, creative, collection of stories. I'm enjoying it.

I wrote a short review at Amazon last week but they did not post it.
Probably because I dont have a cool sounding name like Tom Novak.

I need an alias, maybe Dan Steel. Then I could get layed, maybe.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-06   21:32:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#44. To: Armadillo, Turtle, abraxas (#43)

I need an alias, maybe Dan Steel. Then I could get layed, maybe.

change it to Plays Naked.


"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause." -Padme, Star Wars III, Sith

farmfriend  posted on  2011-07-06   21:36:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#45. To: Armadillo (#43)

I need an alias, maybe Dan Steel. Then I could get layed, maybe.

Dan? No, no, no......Dan is too dainty for the saucy, sex appeal necessary for our lusty romance novel stud. Steel is good though.

You need more power in the first for your alias.......like Sergio Steel. Sergio is saucy!! Or, if that one is too ethnic we could go with Trent Steel. Trent's a bit less ethnic with that macho saucy romance stud feel. Yeah, Trent "Armadillo" Steel......that's the ticket!!

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   21:44:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#46. To: farmfriend (#44) (Edited)

change it to Plays Naked.

That's my "indian name". lol.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-06   21:47:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#47. To: abraxas (#45)

Sergio is saucy!! Or, if that one is too ethnic we could go with Trent Steel. Trent's a bit less ethnic with that macho saucy romance stud feel. Yeah, Trent "Armadillo" Steel......that's the ticket!!

Ab, DAN STEEL as in STEELY DAN.
Youve seen me, do I look like a Sergio or Trent? lol.
Trent is too upscale.
How about Sebastian Steel? Sophisticated, sexy, cool, and slightly evil.

Sebastian Steel is the most interesting man in the world.
He walks nude in public, yet still has a shy bladder.
"I dont always drink beer, but when I do... I mix it with fruit juice."



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-06   21:59:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#48. To: abraxas (#45)

Jack Hammer.

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   22:02:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#49. To: Lod (#48)

Jack Hammer.

I like it.....it's rough and manly and exudes much testosterone. lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   22:08:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#50. To: Armadillo (#47)

How about Sebastian Steel? Sophisticated, sexy, cool, and slightly evil.

"I dont always drink beer, but when I do... I mix it with fruit juice."

Yes, Sebastian is saucy. But, how is it slightly evil?

Damien, now Damien is slightly evil....Damien Steel. Maybe, more than slightly.

Shy bladder Sebastian likes his beer with fruit juice......lol

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   22:11:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#51. To: abraxas (#49)

Let's stop.

Sincerely, Pyle Dryver and Rocke Harde

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   22:17:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#52. To: Lod (#51)

Sincerely, Pyle Dryver and Rocke Harde

lol.....Ron Jeremy must have played those roles in a couple of films.

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   22:23:37 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#53. To: abraxas (#52)

I said stop, John Holmes

Somewhere in Kenya, a village is still missing its idiot.

Lod  posted on  2011-07-06   22:39:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#54. To: abraxas, farmfriend (#50)

es, Sebastian is saucy. But, how is it slightly evil?

Damien, now Damien is slightly evil....Damien Steel. Maybe, more than slightly.

Sebastian sounds like a guy with a dark side.
That's ok, women like dangerous guys with dark sides.
I could walk into a crowd of women, say "Hello ladies, I'm Sebastian Steel". They would all throw themselves at me like an Axe commercial.
"Ohh Sebastian. Please Mr Steel, take me now! Father my child!"

Damien would only attract teen goth chicks and dominatrixs.



Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-06   22:50:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#55. To: Armadillo (#54)

Damien would only attract teen goth chicks and dominatrixs.

lol...yes, Damien borders on too evil.

Okay, Sebastian it is.......making the ladies weak in the knees, maybe even a little bit light headed. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-06   23:19:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#56. To: Armadillo (#43)

I wrote a short review at Amazon last week but they did not post it.

They should have. They post all reviews.

You can't use my name at Amazon -- "Lance Goodthrust."

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-07   10:52:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#57. To: Armadillo (#46)

That's my "indian name". lol.

My Indian name is Two Stuck Dogs.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-07   10:53:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#58. To: Lod (#42) (Edited)

I may check pug rescue to find a really zoned-out one.

Best way to go, since you'd get an adult and know its personality.

With puppies it could grown up to be insanely hyper or else a couch potato that won't do anything except eat and sleep.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-07   10:55:28 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#59. To: farmfriend (#38)

you can't see his pictures unless you are his friend. that's the way he has it set up.

Then send a friend request.

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-07   11:14:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#60. To: Turtle (#56)

"Lance Goodthrust."

LOL!! That's a good one Turtle. : )

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-07   11:18:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#61. To: All (#0)

I just checked Amazon and someone had clicked "not helpful" on the one review there.

Obviously someone does not like me!

"THRUSH believes in the two-party system: the masters and the slaves." -- Napoleon Solo, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-07   11:28:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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