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Title: Laura Bush’s Latest Book Title: “The Pleasures of Masturbation”
Source: [None]
URL Source: http://www.redtractor-usa.com/Laura_Bush_Book.htm
Published: Jul 17, 2011
Author: By David Kruk
Post Date: 2011-07-17 11:01:15 by HAPPY2BME-4UM
Keywords: None
Views: 619
Comments: 21

Laura Bush’s Latest Book Title: “The Pleasures of Masturbation”

Chicago - Laura Bush today announced the publication of her second book entitled The Pleasures of Masturbation.  Appearing on the Oprah Winfery show in Chicago, Mrs. Bush revealed to the audience of mostly women, her latest publication.

Laura Bush and Oprah

Mrs. Bush’s new book is decidedly geared towards a different market than her previous endeavor.  In April of this year Mrs. Bush and her daughter Jenna authored a children’s book called ‘Read All About It!”. 

When asked why now a book on Masturbation, Mrs. Bush told Oprah, that “While I absolutely adore children and children’s literature, I also adore masturbation and felt that as First Lady, since I have not done much else, I could open a new dialog about sex and masturbation with American women.”

As described by Mrs. Bush, her latest book provides a timeline of her various introductions and experimentation with masturbation and her on-going affinity for the sex act as well as outlining in her mind many of the advantages and justifications for women that masturbating has to offer.    While Mrs. Bush encouraged Oprah viewers to read her book, she also was excited to share some of her thinking on the subject with them. 

First, as a conservative religious woman, Mrs. Bush described how young women today could, through masturbation, experience both sex and abstinence at the same time. Mrs. Bush told Oprah “Masturbation represents the best of both worlds for young women today. They can enjoy the pleasures of sex and at the same time save themselves for the man they will marry.”

Secondly, Mrs. Bush told the applauding audience that masturbation is completely safe and an excellent way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.  Mrs. Bush described how, through masturbation, women can feel both fulfilled and protect their reputations at the same time.    “I mean, look at me,” Mrs. Bush told the Oprah. “I’m this librarian type and you know what, I get more than any woman I know.  While it may be mostly all by myself, I have maintained an honest marriage and a holy reputation while always being sexually fulfilled.”

Displaying a sense of humor rarely displayed in her seven years as First Lady, Mrs. Bush told Oprah “Look, some men should read this book too. And I can think of one former resident of the White House who would have been well served by self gratification.  I mean this stuff is scandal free and you would never get impeached for it.”

Mrs. Bush also told Oprah to tell women out there that there is not a better time to start masturbating.  With the economy being the way it is and stress levels on the increase, due to high unemployment and increasing debt, masturbation is a great way to cope with stress.  Mrs. Bush added that “with out going into great detail, masturbating is free or real cheap.  From what I hear even Wal-Mart sells sex toys these days.”

When asked by Oprah how her husband, President Bush, felt about her writing this book on masturbation, Mrs. Bush stated, “George has been very supportive of me on this, and he is the first to admit that being President of the United States can be a stressful job. When you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, one’s sexual performance may suffer.”

By David Kruk (1 image)

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#1. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." ~ Ben Franklin

"For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it.” ~ Patrick Henry

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-07-17   11:10:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

She must like masturbation - she married the biggest jack-off on planet earth !

"Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."

Frederic Bastiat

noone222  posted on  2011-07-17   11:19:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Eric Stratton, noone222 (#1)

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if Junior is a homo

U.S. Constitution - Article IV, Section 4: NO BORDERS + NO LAWS = NO COUNTRY

HAPPY2BME-4UM  posted on  2011-07-17   11:21:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

Vindication for Jocelyn Elders, ne: Minnie Jones?

Break the Conventions - Keep the Commandments

Lod  posted on  2011-07-17   11:44:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#3)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." ~ Ben Franklin

"For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it.” ~ Patrick Henry

Eric Stratton  posted on  2011-07-17   12:18:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

I get more than any woman I know. While it may be mostly all by myself,

LOL!

" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11

abraxas  posted on  2011-07-17   12:31:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: abraxas (#6)

I get more than any woman I know. While it may be mostly all by myself,

You noticed that too, huh? Dumbya must not be "takin' care of bidness" like he is supposed to.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.    Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein

James Deffenbach  posted on  2011-07-17   12:58:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

'Family values don't end at the Rio Grande'

Jack  posted on  2011-07-17   13:51:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

SWEET JEEBUS! YOU SHOULD'VE PUT SOME KIND OF STERN WARNING ON THAT POST.

God help me get this out of my head! OWWWWWWWWWWW! My brain hurts!

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936 2011)

Esso  posted on  2011-07-17   13:59:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Esso (#9)

Just think how much worse it would have been for you if it had been ol' "Bsr" (Whore Hey's mama) who wrote the book. As sneakypete calls her, the George Washington lookalike.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.    Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein

James Deffenbach  posted on  2011-07-17   15:28:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

The Pleasures of Masturbation.

Darn, that's the title of the book I'm writing.
I'll have to come up with a new one.

Wonder if her book has photos...


If you dislike this post, click here.

Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-19   2:47:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM, *Humor-Weird News* (#0) (Edited)

Above: Laura Bush makes an appearance with one of her favorite masturbatory tools, one she stuffs her hand inside of rectally.


No Planes. Think about it. ................. Guaranteed Penetration (no it's not porn)................. Israelis For 9/11 Truth

wudidiz  posted on  2011-07-19   3:06:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

Mrs. Bush described how young women today could, through masturbation, experience both sex and abstinence at the same time.

I have maintained an honest marriage and a holy reputation while always being sexually fulfilled.”

This woman is the cat that swallowed the canary. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, or elsewhere. The sheer hypocrisy!

LMAO! You've gotta be kidding me.

It is vital to understand that there is no truth without discernment and no wisdom without the truth. What then is “faith” but an effort to confound truth and wisdom?

angK  posted on  2011-07-19   3:55:28 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#0)

"...From what I hear even Wal-Mart sells sex toys these days.”

Didn't I read something a few years back that Walmart couldn't keep those little water-wings for kids in stock because guys aged 15-60 kept buying every single one they put on the shelves and the little kids couldn't get any for themselves?

TooConservative  posted on  2011-07-19   11:10:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Esso (#9)

Should I PM you her "instructional video"?? :p

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-07-19   11:16:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: X-15 (#15)

Should I PM you her "instructional video"??

Just kill me now.

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936 2011)

Esso  posted on  2011-07-19   11:34:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: Esso (#16)

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2011-07-19   11:36:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: Armadillo (#11)

Darn, that's the title of the book I'm writing.

I'll have to come up with a new one.

"Build Your Own Sybian for $1.99"

"Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes." – P.J. O'Rourke, "A Parliament of Whores"

Turtle  posted on  2011-07-19   11:55:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM, all (#0)

Just to make it clear, this article is satire. Laura Bush did not write such a book.

From the homepage of Red Tractor, where the article came from:

Red Tractor USA is a news satire, political satire and political humor site - fake news - all B.S.

I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. - Benjamin Franklin

F.A. Hayek Fan  posted on  2011-07-19   12:35:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: F.A. Hayek Fan (#19)

Just to make it clear, this article is satire. Laura Bush did not write such a book.

=================================================

That (part) is correct.

U.S. Constitution - Article IV, Section 4: NO BORDERS + NO LAWS = NO COUNTRY

HAPPY2BME-4UM  posted on  2011-07-19   12:43:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: Turtle (#18)

"Build Your Own Sybian for $1.99"

LOL.
Saw a video demo of one of those.
Amazing. Almost makes me wish I was female.


If you dislike this post, click here.

Once you go armadillo, you never go back.

Armadillo  posted on  2011-07-19   20:01:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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