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Dead Constitution See other Dead Constitution Articles Title: GOVERNMENT RAIDS OUTLAWS GOVERNMENT RAIDS OUTLAWS Times Reporter - Ben Plagiarized Fort Myers 04/01/03 - A joint task force of more than 100 federal agents and state police raided the heavily defended bunker office of a Florida gang last Sunday morning at 4am, uncovering a stock pile of illegal law books and other legal reference media. "It's astounding," said Police Chief John Catchum at a press conference. "I've never seen so many books in my life. It was a virtual law library." Chief Catchum described the entire Outlaws Legal Service building as filled wall to wall with law books and piles of legal magazines. In several rooms officers discovered high speed computers all linked to the internet, printers and thousands of pages of printing paper. The discovery of the computer-printer setups prompted evacuation of the neighborhood while EOD teams wearing welding masks rendered the devices inactive and secured bottles of banned printing ink and toner. Several of the printers were of the high speed laser printer variety – that could possibly be modified with mirrors and used as weapons to inflict permanent eye damage on those in government. However, no such mirrors have actually been found yet. Officers and federal agents stood in front of stacks of seized law books and magazines at a hastily scheduled press conference. A leather bound, Black’s Law Dictionary and a 1400 page, copy of War and Peace were the centerpiece of their exhibit. Piled among the books on display were thousands of law books, federal and state government manuals and books on United States history. Several books were found that listed all area business and private individual's names, addresses, and telephone numbers printed in columns on separate white and yellow pages. Chief Catchum said that he had never seen anything like it and the potential use for them was mind boggling. There was even a separate section covering just government offices. "These Law and government books are instruments of war, plain and simple," said Special Agent Gregory Dupe. The law books were only used to fight government as we know it, "They have no recreational purpose. They have no legitimate civilian use." "We're still counting them - we have no idea how many books we're dealing with," said Fort Myers Police Detective Gary Knowless, another member of the task force. "I'm just glad we got them off the street. Nobody needs that many books. It's scary the kind of stuff people have hidden in their homes and offices." Late Sunday night, agents wearing space-age HAZMAT suits were still removing books from the office. Asked what would become of the contraband, Agent Dupe stated that it would be quickly destroyed in a specially built high temperature incinerator. The suspected ring leader is now being held in solitary confinement without bail pending more charges and a psychological evaluation. He was placed in solitary confinement after he was discovered standing on a table in the middle of the cell block teaching “constitutional law” to the inmates and several guards. His arraignment is scheduled for late next month. Neighbors and coworkers all describe him as a quiet, polite man, friendly to all, but possessing an almost fanatically deep hatred for lawyers and judges. "I'd never suspect him of something like this," said long time community resident Charles Lamb. "He was always so nice helping everybody learn about evil lawyers. This is a complete shock to us all." Confidential sources close to the investigation tell the Times that he has been linked to the controversial National Reading Association, an extremist group which encourages private study and possession of literature. The NRA believes that the Right to read and print literature is guaranteed by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. The Times was unable to obtain a copy of the Constitution for this article, but is submitting a Freedom of Information Act request to access the ancient document. Terrorism expert and author Brian Sissee told the Times that these radical groups such as the NRA are magnets for disturbed anti law and government individuals. "His interpretation of the Constitution as guaranteeing personal Rights and Freedoms is very common among the lunatic fringes," said Mr. Sissee. "But history just isn't on their side. The First Amendment was intended to protect only the government's permission to registered and licensed TV – Radio broadcasters, major newspapers and libraries to publish the government’s truth. It's absurd to think that they [the framers] would have wanted any private individual possession of word processing software and home printers. Computers and the internet weren't even invented back then." Book collectors like the one at Outlaws Legal Service, Sissee said, suffer from a deep rooted psychological neurosis which drives them to read and stockpile books so that they can help and educate others. "Who needs this many books? He couldn't possibly read them all. People like them do it because they feel inadequate. Reading makes them feel smarter, and publishing their thoughts to help others makes them feel important." Anti Terrorist Raids of this type have sparked a nationwide debate over the millions unregistered books possessed illegally in the United States. Current U.S. law, enacted since 9/11/2001, now permits only deactivated and heavily censored replica books, with all the pages removed, to be possessed by the general public, though in some places original books are still permitted for retired librarians and journalists after they have been glued shut by government censors. Until last year, books printed before 1933 could still be legally possessed by anyone willing to submit to a background check, DNA sampling, and payment of a $200 per book, per year tax. One of the neighbors, retired Army Colonel Wince Schott, questioned the wisdom of the governments book prohibition and destruction. "When I was a kid, everyone owned a book, most people even had more than one," said Schott. "There were books in stores on every corner. You could even go to a library and they'd give you a book to take home." Miss Judy Bliss, spokesman for the D.C. based non profit lobbying group, Think of the Children, issued a press release following news of the raid. "It's appalling that these kinds of unlicensed, unregistered law books are still on our streets," said Miss Bliss, speaking from her limousine. "Books have incited revolutions, numerous court battles, led people to depression and suicide, murder, all kinds of horrible things. Take Robin Hood or even Romeo and Juliet for example. That play was definitively linked to teen suicide. Or take Machiavelli’s The Prince, a treatise about political ruthlessness that has been on the night stands of tyrants around the world. No civilized society allows untrained civilians to possess and use books like these. This `book culture' needs to be stamped out and those people at Outlaws Legal Service should be reprogrammed to think correctly, just like the rest of us." Citizens wishing to report their family, friends, or neighbors for illicit book possession are encouraged to call the toll free federal hot line at 1-69-ISNITCH. Rick Jones contributed to this story.
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#1. To: boonie rat (#0)
Guilty as charged. ROTFLMAO!
"It is common to assume that human progress affects everyone – that even the dullest man, in these bright days, knows more than any man of, say, the Eighteenth Century, and is far more civilized. This assumption is quite erroneous...The great masses of men, even in this inspired republic, are precisely where the mob was at the dawn of history. They are ignorant, they are dishonest, they are cowardly, they are ignoble. They know little if anything that is worth knowing, and there is not the slightest sign of a natural desire among them to increase their knowledge." H.L. Mencken
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