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Title: The Emperor's New Body (Chaz Bono)
Source:
Taki's Magazine
URL Source: http://takimag.com/article/the_emperors_new_body#axzz1Ww8RgX00
Published: Sep 5, 2011
Author: Jim Goad
Post Date: 2011-09-06 00:14:19 by X-15
Keywords: None
Views: 203
Comments: 10
Although she recently opted to surgically guillotine her bazooms, the stubbly tattooed blobfish born Chastity Sun Bono has no penis and has yet to fill and pave over her vagina with cement, so I refuse to refer to that mortally confused woman as “he.” There ain’t no wiener in that there sausage factory, and thus anyone who insists “Chaz Bono is a man” or “He was born that way” is either a liar, an idiot, or a lying idiot. Baby Bono has no boner, and she could mainline enough testosterone to where she looks like Haystacks Calhoun, but she will forever remain a chick—a hideously mutant sac of celebrity DNA gone wrong, sure—but still a chick. I have no clue if it’s because her parents forced her to cross-dress at an early age or whether Sonny Bono had a weird habit of calling his daughter “Fred.” I know not whether it’s because, straight out of the womb, she lacked the star power and nearly perfect navel of her mother Cher. What seems certain is that at some point she fell under the delusion that she was former Van Halen bass player Michael Anthony trapped inside the body of a talentless, Oxycontin-addled female college dropout. The fact that she continues to act on this delusion is not evidence of a brave man making a bold journey of self-actualization; it’s proof of a frightened, disturbed woman desperately fleeing from herself. “The left—whatever’s left of it—has a queer tendency to mistake ideas for reality and reality for ideas. “ That didn’t stop the freak-fellating mainstream media from rushing to “his” defense when it was announced last Monday that the adipose monstrosity who legally changed her name to Chaz Salvatore Bono would be a contestant on the new season of Dancing With the Stars, assuming the male role alongside the certifiably female hoofer Lacey Schwimmer. A reviewer said that Chaz’s decision to flaunt her flabby armpits on the program “shows guts.” Truth is, Chaz Bono shows guts wherever she appears. A girdle has yet to be fashioned that can begin to conceal her guts. After a predictable backlash from uptight moms and a conservative psychiatrist with a hilariously double-entendre surname, Chaz waddled to her own defense and belched to ABC News that “America really needs to see this.” Sorry, John Candy, Jr., but this is the last thing America needs to see. Her publicist Howard Bragman said that “The sky will not fall when Chaz Bono dances.” No, but the floor might cave in. One can only hope that the physically inactive activist’s uterus will fall out during an especially vigorous foxtrot. Since Chaz is now a “man,” Chaz is no longer a lesbian, and her longtime oyster-gobbling partner Jennifer Elia has suddenly ceased to be a dyke and is now a heterosexual woman, and anyone who does not accept this charade at face value is automatically a confused bigot. To enter the world of the “transgendered” is to dip one’s unsuspecting toes into a rancid bowl of alphabet soup filled with “autogynephiles” and “genderqueers” and “F2Ms” and “M2Fs.” It is to watch the “pangendered” engage in rhetorical turf wars with the “gender fluid” while the “gender dysphoric” sit in the corner and cry. It is to observe the “pre-ops” seethe with jealousy toward the “post-ops” while “apotemnophiles” try to bum cigarettes from “drag kings.” Most enjoyably, it is to watch third-wave feminists mud-wrestling with second-wavers over whether men ever have a right to become women. There’s no need for so many divisive labels. I have a word for all of these people. That word is “confused.” But that’s because I’m a backwards-thinking, hate-filled, homophobic/transphobic bigot whose honest opinions are likely to soon be reclassified as some form of mental illness. Ironically, it wasn’t long ago that most psychologists depicted homosexuality as a sign of mental illness. In 1973, when little Chastity Bono was four years old, the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Over the past decade, there’s been a worldwide push among headshrinkers to depict transsexuality as perfectly normal, too. In another generation, I imagine that mental-health professionals will deem the act of stitching a dolphin snout onto one’s face to be a sign of psychological well-being. The left—whatever’s left of it—has a queer tendency to mistake ideas for reality and reality for ideas. That’s the only way they could swallow the notion that what’s inside Chaz Bono’s head makes her a man while what Mother Nature tucked between her legs is irrelevant. It’s such through-the-looking-glass thinking that enables them to believe America is riddled with hang-ups about Chaz Bono rather than the obvious fact that Chaz Bono is hung-up about herself. It’s also what allows them to peddle such obviously fraudulent ideas that race doesn’t exist but that racism is everywhere. Still, if I insisted I was actually a black man trapped inside a white dude’s body, they’d probably tell me to seek counseling. They’re piss-poor at covering all the bases with their magical thinking. In their fantasy world where feelings are more important than flesh, they cheerlead Chaz Bono in her seemingly interminable quest to become more comfortable with herself, no matter how uncomfortable it makes everyone else. Rather than viewing Chaz’s “journey” as ugly, exhibitionistic narcissism, they depict her chubby feet as treading a golden pathway of life-affirming empowerment. It isn’t a televised mental breakdown, it’s a transformation, an unfolding, a blossoming. They’ve enabled her to become so self-absorbed, she’s swollen to mammoth proportions. They’ve allowed her to become so enormous—both in her body and in her head—that no closet on Earth could ever hold her. Anyone who objects isn’t merely objecting—they’re a “hater.” As is their style, the Love Brigade aims far more hate and dehumanizing terminology at the “haters” than the haters ever aimed at them. The reason that transsexuals’ unemployment rate is twice the national average has nothing to do with their possibly erratic behavior—it’s the unremitting HATE of the genitally normal. The reason that two out of five trannies attempt suicide isn’t because they’re messed-up in the head—it’s because everyone else is. Whether or not she’s quickly booted from Dancing With the Stars, Chaz Bono will continue to feel hurt, hated, and misunderstood because that appears to be a huge part of Chaz’s personality—perhaps its dominant component. What a painful and arduous journey it must be to have the luxury of spending your entire life “becoming” yourself. Chaz is still becoming Chaz and will keep taking injections to become what Chaz has always been. Chaz may someday get more surgery to become what Chaz always was in the first place. One would have thought that Chaz, if Chaz actually was Chaz, would stop becoming Chaz and just be Chaz. But Chaz, in trying to become Chaz, has ensured that will never happen. If she’d only remained Chastity Bono, she’d be far truer to her real self. She wouldn’t be nearly as ugly, either.
Poster Comment: This whole article is a field-artillery barrage on the Left.
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#1. To: X-15 (#0)
I think it's a great article.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
absolutely great article & spot on! The writer has the courage to convey what normal people think about this freakshow bono. How appropriate that the freak's stepmom congresswoman is in israel pandering to more freaks.
"Even to the death fight for truth, and the LORD your God will battle for you". Sirach 4:28
An abomination, an assault on morality, another mind-f**k.
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one. "Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." ~ Ben Franklin "For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it.” ~ Patrick Henry
The absolute truth of the matter. Chastity couldn't face being a lesbian, so voila, the abomination of Chaz appears.
It is vital to understand that there is no truth without discernment and no wisdom without the truth. What then is “faith” but an effort to confound truth and wisdom?
wow, this is some critique!
To enter the world of the “transgendered” is to dip one’s unsuspecting toes into a rancid bowl of alphabet soup filled with “autogynephiles” and “genderqueers” and “F2Ms” and “M2Fs.” It is to watch the “pangendered” engage in rhetorical turf wars with the “gender fluid” while the “gender dysphoric” sit in the corner and cry. lol
i really dig critical thinking wordsmiths......
me too ;)
This was a hoot :P I just fired it around my e-mail list!
#2. To: X-15, james deffenbach, *Post Of The Day* (#0)
#3. To: X-15, James Deffenbach, Artisan (#0)
No Planes. Think about it. ... Guaranteed Penetration (no it's not porn)... "To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle." ~ George Orwell... Israelis For 9/11 Truth
#4. To: All (#0)
#5. To: X-15 (#0)
Since Chaz is now a “man,” Chaz is no longer a lesbian, and her longtime oyster-gobbling partner Jennifer Elia has suddenly ceased to be a dyke and is now a heterosexual woman, and anyone who does not accept this charade at face value is automatically a confused bigot.
#6. To: X-15 (#0)
#7. To: X-15 (#0)
Since Chaz is now a “man,” Chaz is no longer a lesbian, and her longtime oyster-gobbling partner Jennifer Elia has suddenly ceased to be a dyke and is now a heterosexual woman, and anyone who does not accept this charade at face value is automatically a confused bigot.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams 
#8. To: christine (#6)
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#9. To: Rotara (#8)
#10. To: X-15 (#0)
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