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Miscellaneous See other Miscellaneous Articles Title: Two husband solution to China's women shortage Should wives in China be allowed to have two husbands ? Poll:: Yes - 48% No: 44% 11 January 2010. The Chinese state media has admitted that the country's One Child policy has resulted in a potentially disastrous demographic crisis. The Chinese Academy of Social Sciences reports that the policy that mandates abortion for many pregnancies, combined with sex-selection and a cultural preference for boys, has created a gender imbalance that will result in 24 MILLION MEN WHO CANNOT FIND WIVES by 2020. The Academy study said that for every 100 girls born in China, 119 boys are born. In some areas, the split is 100 to 130. Sex-specific abortions have led to a large male population born since the 1980s, the China Daily newspaper said. Researcher Wang Guangzhou was quoted as saying, "THE CHANCE OF GETTING MARRIED WILL BE RARE if a man is more than 40 years old in the countryside." Comments: I vote NO. A marriage is between a man and a woman. NOT a man and women. NOT a woman and men. NOT a man and man. NOT a woman and woman. Seneca: By the way, I chose the answer "yes" to the original question but my wife says one husband is enough for her. Two would be a hardship, and three a disaster. So, in the interest of domestic peace I align my opinion with hers: Each wife shall have the right to one husband in China (and maybe one abroad). . Woman with two husbands 17 October 2006. AHMEDABAD, INDIA. If you thought a man living happily under the same roof with two wives was unconventional, how about a woman with two husbands, who not only live together but root for each other. Lawyer Asha Thaker, who practises in the family court, was recently taken by surprise when she was consulted by a woman and her two husbands, who wanted to know what legal recourse they could take to protect the financial interests of their wife without running into any legal hassle. The 48-year-old woman lives in upmarket Satellite with her 55-year-old first husband, who has taken retirement from service, and a 54-year-old second husband, who is a government employee. The woman has two sons from the first marriage, while the second husband also has two children. All married. "It was interesting to note the harmony between the three. I am so used to seeing two women squabble over one man that it was a departure seeing how amiable the two men were with each other," says Thaker. Apparently, the second husband has property worth Rs 25 lakh and he wanted to have part of it in the name of the woman to ensure that she is financially secure. "I suggested that the woman divorce the first husband on paper and legally wed the second husband. The woman, however, categorically refused saying that she loved both equally. In fact, the first husband too rejected this option," says Thaker. Unusual as this case may be, it is not the only one of its kind. Social activist Harshad Patel says that Ahmedabad better get used to unconventional relationships. dragon8 A Woman with Two or More Husbands? 20 April 2008. If Muslim men can have more than one wife, there is also a tribe where the woman is the one with more than one husband. Polygamy is a common practice by many cultural groups in the different part of the world. We all know for a fact that Muslim men can marry as many as they can, oops take note, as they "can," not as they "want," meaning to say, they can only do if they have the means although other Muslim sects allow four wives only. This is not prohibited as long as all the wives are treated equally and fairly and each wife has a separate room. They call it harem. On the contrary, do you know that there is a tribe that it's the women who can have more than one husband? Very unusual isn't it? Believe it or not but this is true and it is in existence. Who are these people and where can we find them? Let's find out. These people are called the Mustangs and their kingdom is also called Mustang. Mustang is located in the northwest part of Nepal and was closed to foreigners until 1992. The area of Mustang is about 2000 km2 with more or less 7000 inhabitants. Mustang is one of the few places in the Himalayan region that has been able to retain its traditional Tibetan culture unmolested. There are no roads, cars, telephones, televisions or western doctors. Mustang is an isolated and free Tibetan kingdom whose people still believe that the Earth is flat, that illness is caused by evil spirits and is healed through exorcism. And mustang is the place where women can have more than one husband. It is a Mustang tradition that if a man wants to marry he has to give the girl's family a piece of land as a dowry. If another brother wants to marry he should do the same. In order for a family not to lose their domain for marriage purposes, it is a common practice for a brother to marry a brother's wife. So if there are five brothers in a family the tendency is that they will share a common wife. They do this because of the scarcity of tillable land. Maybe you will ask, how's the set up at home? If a Mustang woman has five husbands each husband has a schedule. They can make a schedule of two days and two nights each or one day and one night each. How would they know who impregnated the wife? There is no possibility for the wife to determine who amongst the husbands impregnated her. I'm sure you would also ask this, who's going to be considered as the father? Well, it is always the oldest who's going to be address as the father. All the younger husbands will be called uncle by the kids. Very unusual but it is true. We are different from one another with different cultural orientation. Let's just respect each others culture. dragon8 Woman "marries" two husbands, share bedroom Sunday 6 December 2009. A Zimbabwean woman from Muzarabani has been living with two "husbands" as married, comfortably sharing a single bedroom with them, The Zim Diaspora has exclusively found out. We can reveal that Chiratidzo Mbizi (48) of Mukumbura in Zimbabwe's Mashonaland Central province shared a single bedroom with her two husbands Takaruza Kajokoto (69) and Marufu Katiyo (51). The news of their way of life has stunned the local community and a local chief, Chiswiti has had to repremand them for what he described as a serious breach of a traditional Zimbabwean African culture. But the woman insisted before the chief that she was happy and satisfied with her arrangement. The matter was brought to light by Headman Karikoga who discovered some obscene activities of the couple which arguebly could go into guennes book of records. The headman alerted Chief Chiswiti who immediately convened a traditional court for the trio. They were each convicted of putting tradional African culture into disrepute and were fined a goat each one of them. The woman, Chiratidzo who was described by the chief as a disgrace to the local community, was ordered to choose one from the two or risk being expelled from the village. She reportedly chose the eldest husband Takaruza Kajokoto while the younger husband left for an unknown destination. In an interview, a local elder who mediated in the case, Lewis Katenhe (72) said the three stayed together as married couples and their arrangement was that Takaruza who was older always had first preferences when it comes to sexual encounters while Katiyo who is younger would often "do it" after Takaruza had finished. He said on being interviewed by the chief, Katiyo would watch "them" engage in sex while awaiting his turn and at times would urge them on. Katenhe who said during the traditional hearing, it was also established that the woman had a stunning sexual appetite and would often find it difficult to be satified by one men, hence her decision to marry two man and share a bedroom with them. “At first it did not ring bells in our minds but after sometime we started asking what the woman was doing with two males, sleeping with them in the same bedroom. The man would share chores like collecting firewood and cooking without problems. This is very unusual considering our culture, norms and beliefs. I later decided to inform the Headman about” said Katenhe “The court found her in breach of our culture, norms and values. She was fined and ordered to behave humane or risk being ostracized by the community. The younger guy left immediately after paying the fine and his whereabouts is unknown," he said. The Zim Diaspora tracked down Chiratidzo and caught up with her in her village. She said: "I was fined and humiliated for no crime. I don’t have two husbands; I have one husband, Sekuru Mbizi. This guy Katiyo stayed here as our patient since both of us are traditional healers. We slept in the same room to watch over our patient through out the night. Nothing of what people are saying happened". She could not elaborate on the nature of illnesses in her "patient". Local villagers and close neighbours said Katiyo was a mentally sound person who interacted well with the local community. 2011-9-11 06:41 AM #69 dragon8 I have two husbands: A polygamist’s diary 17 February 2009. A polygamist on her ‘non-traditional’ lifestyle — and why ‘Big Love’ is silly. "Non-traditional" is a popular catchall phrase that seems, in common usage, to mean anything that differs from the mainstream. It also describes a large portion of my life. My upbringing was entirely unremarkable, and certainly included nothing of this sort. I was first introduced to such alternative relationships in college when a female friend of mine and I knowingly decided to share the same boyfriend. No, not a threesome, just going out with the same guy. It was partially a matter of convenience, and partially the fact that we were close friends. We both liked him very much, didn't want to fight over him, and he wasn't anxious to choose between us. As this was my first intimate relationship and it became polyamorous, it is hardly surprising that I ended up in a polygamist marriage. My first husband was Alan. We fell together like a couple of old shoes, somehow instantly comfortable with each other. We had similar opinions about plural relationships, and neither of us was averse to the idea. Around a year and a half after we were married, we met Eric. He and I were instantly attracted to each other and, as Alan had no objection, we began getting to know each other better. Over time, I found myself falling in love with Eric. Alan certainly wasn't blind to this, so we all got together to discuss it. This turned out to be one of the most important conversations of my life, and led to an increase in my family’s size. Alan and Eric let me make the sleeping arrangements, and I worked to make sure I spent time with both of them. To all outward appearances we were a married couple with a male friend living with us. While some found it awkward when the three of us occasionally attended parties and such together, very few people attempted to pry. To avoid legal troubles, I remained legally married to Alan, and we all decided a larger house was in order when we met Leslie. Fast forward to today, and our family is now composed of Alan, Eric, Leslie, Amber, and myself, plus our children: Todd, Steve, Jennifer, Lisa, and Amber is currently pregnant. Eric and Leslie are legally married, and we've added a few rooms to the house. We have two family meetings a week, one of which is for adults only, both of which can get lively and loud. We've had our arguments over money, people monopolizing other people's time, dealing with children's issues, and so forth — like any other family — but we just have more voices in the discussion. As far as finances are concerned, Alan, Eric and Leslie all work, and Amber intends to go back to work after the baby is born. I kind of became the head Mom and housekeeper, and we all take turns at cooking except for Eric. (We all try to keep him out of the kitchen. We've decided we like the house, and we don't want him to burn it down.) We have main household accounts for bills and home improvements, and we all have our own personal accounts as well. Alan keeps all the books balanced, as he's best at it. Amber and I both receive a kind of salary for what we do around the house. Our respective families are aware that Alan and I are married, that Eric and Leslie are married, and that Amber is living with us. If they are suspicious of anything else, they've never mentioned it. Fascinating how people avoid asking uncomfortable questions. When ‘Big Love’ came out, we all thought it was pretty silly. To start with, we all consider ourselves to be one family, not three separate but connected families. The ideas that plural marriage is restricted to the one man and several wives model — and that it has to have a religious basis — are both ridiculous. We also don't consider the political jockeying, the backbiting, and the attempts to get more of the husband's attention or money, to be loving behavior. If the youngest wife is so insecure, she should go find herself a nice monogamous man. This lifestyle really isn't for everybody. We are all here because we love each other and we choose to be together. Those who think it is all about sex really don't understand. Those who think something kinky must be going on seriously don't understand. Incidentally, for those who insist on knowing, we are all straight. This did not keep me from sleeping in Leslie's bed for a few nights and holding her as we cried after she had a miscarriage. We all love and support each other, and try to see that everyone's needs are met. And, as most eventually discover, people's needs extend beyond sex. With all the traditions we have coming from other cultures and various parts of the country, who's to say what is or isn't mainstream? Kind of makes "non-traditional" lose its meaning. JTaylor4 Location Canada QUOTE: (dragon8) A polygamist on her ‘non-traditional’ lifestyle — and why ‘Big Love’ is silly. "Non-traditional" is a popular catchall phrase that seems, in common usage, ... . You make a very good case for non-traditional marriage arrangements. Being open and honest about your marriage commitments, and keeping the ones you make, is far better than sneaking out on your spouse with a friend on the side.
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