See other 4play Articles
Title: What Would Jesus Drive?
Source:
[None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Oct 7, 2011
Author: Email
Post Date: 2011-10-07 16:09:40 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 273
Comments: 9
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because “the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.” * But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.” * Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.” * Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John’s gospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord . . . ” * Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.” * Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.” * And, following the Master’s lead, the Apostles carpooled in a Honda: “The Apostles were in one Accord”!
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: Turtle (#0)
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.
We're talking here about Jesus and he clearly would drive a Plymouth, since the Gospels say that he drove the moneychangers out in a Fury. As for the Twelve Apostles, they evidently shared a Honda since the New Testament says they were all of one Accord.
Jesus would drive a Thing. : ) And Jesus would add an eleventh commandment: Thou Shalt Run Over Turtles! lol
" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11 "Life's tough, and even tougher if you're stupid." --John Wayne
That is WAYYYYYY out. Love the color suggestions. MAybe be "Gullible Gold" needs to be added? And Jesus was a red head? Who knew this?? HE WAS A CELT!
...which might explain why jews are scared shitless of druids. who knows? one comedy after another
Shaped like a cross.
Break the Conventions - Keep the Commandments - G.K.Chesterson of course, we got this john michael greer character, who grows a beard, buys some white robes, creates a supposed sect of druids, and proclaims himself archdruid of that sect. then he writes millions of elegant words explaining our pickle while scrupulously avoiding the subject of israel, and those words get great play in limited hangout peak oil operations like energy bulletin and theoildrum. *shrug*
Jesus would drive a 427 Cobra:
#2. To: Turtle (#0)
(Edited)
#3. To: Turtle (#0)
#4. To: Turtle (#0)
(Edited)
#5. To: PSUSA2 (#2)
"Satan / Cheney in "08" 
#6. To: tom007 (#5)
(Edited)
And Jesus was a red head? Who knew this?? HE WAS A CELT!
#7. To: Turtle, 4 (#0)
Clearly the Can-Am.
#8. To: tom007 (#5)
(Edited)
#9. To: Turtle (#0)
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest