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Title: What Would Jesus Drive?
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Published: Oct 7, 2011
Author: Email
Post Date: 2011-10-07 16:09:40 by Turtle
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Views: 427
Comments: 9
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because “the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.” * But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.” * Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.” * Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John’s gospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord . . . ” * Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.” * Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.” * And, following the Master’s lead, the Apostles carpooled in a Honda: “The Apostles were in one Accord”!
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#4. To: Turtle (#0)
(Edited)
Jesus would drive a Thing. : ) And Jesus would add an eleventh commandment: Thou Shalt Run Over Turtles! lol
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