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Title: 100 Year Old Prostitute Still Going Strong
Source:
Before It's News
URL Source: http://beforeitsnews.com/story/1614 ... titute_Still_Going_Strong.html
Published: Jan 12, 2012
Author: Tessie Theuma
Post Date: 2012-01-12 16:58:18 by abraxas
Keywords: None
Views: 292
Comments: 9
100 Year Old Prostitute Still Going Strong Wednesday, January 11, 2012 11:45 By Tessie Theuma – Happy fluffy story correspondent Sitting on her plastic-covered scarlet arm-chair in the boudoir of her Gzira home, one would be forgiven for thinking Doris Borg is just a regular sweet old granny. But while she is indeed sweet as kannoli, she also has a more illicit side: she is Malta’s oldest working prostitute. The silver-haired “anzjana tat-triq“, as she calls herself, celebrated her birthday on January 2, surrounded by prominent politicians, businessmen, lawyers and members of the clergy, all of whom were in costume to protect their identities. “I so enjoyed lapping up their warm greetings,” she beams. Doris says she has been in the world’s oldest profession ever since she can remember. She comes from a long line of ladies of the night. “My mother was a prostitute, and her mother before her. Her mother was a cloistered nun so I’m not sure what happened there. There hasn’t been a proper male member of the family for generations.” During her long life, the centenarian has lived through her fair share of momentous events. She has particularly fond memories of World War II. “All those marines,” she says wistfully. “Some historians say the invasion of Sicily might not have succeeded had the entire British 51st infantry division not spent a morale-boosting night with me before they shipped out.” How has she managed to live for so long? “Well I’m lucky enough to do what I love, even though I don’t love who I do most of the time. I’ve never had a break, except for my hip of course. “Also, a Ghanaian former witchdoctor once told me his seed had life-giving properties. It appears to have worked.” Doris admits that due to her advanced age, the market she caters for is somewhat niche. “For men who are almost into necrophilia but not quite” say her ads on Maltapark. “Oh yes, I’m very web savvy,” she says. “One of my last clients, bless him, was a shy computer programmer, and he set up a Facebook page for me, which really helps to set up appointments since I can only cover about 30 metres of pavement in a day nowadays, and that’s with my Zimmer frame. She says advanced age has several advantages. “Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you. And if someone has a foot fetish, but also likes breasts, in my case they’re in the same general area.” Being more than a century old certainly hasn’t diminished her creativity either. “I can do more things with a tire-swing and a rolling pin than you could ever possibly imagine.” What does she think of her younger counterparts? “Bah, in my day we used to learn everything on the job, if you’ll pardon the pun. Hookers today don’t know they’re born, with their MCAST courses and ETC training schemes.” Despite the fact that her more glamourous days are arguably behind her, Doris has no intentions of retiring any time soon. “No matter how old I get I won’t stop bending over backwards to make sure my clients are satisfied.” 
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#1. To: abraxas (#0)
I don't feel well...I think I have to throw up.
Serial killer psychopaths ruin families. Corporate psychopaths ruin societies -- Prof. Robert Hare
"How You Got Duped by a Story of 100 Year Old Prostitute At first I read the story thinking that the 100-year-old prostitute Doris Borg is oddly cute and kind of sweet. Then after looking at her Facebook Page the math didn’t ad up. So, I checked out the rest of the magazine Bis-Serjetà. That’s when it started to make a bit more sense. The Maltese blog is basically like The Onion, reporting fictitious and satirical news to their readers. The write up about the 100-year-old prostitute, Doris Borg, is one of those write ups. The picture? It’s a stock photograph of a 100 year old Hispanic Florida Senior also used as a popular image for parodies across the web, including a fake Facebook Profile “Gertrude Williamson”. Sadly, the error’s been picked up by thousands of everyday surfers who just want to believe that a 100-year-old prostitute is still going strong. Really, who doesn’t? Apparently, I am the fun killer here. Whereas normally my joie de vie could be likened to that to the wistful twinkle in a 100-year-old prostitute’s eye… or something like that. A Turkish Newspaper picked up the story and ran it. The forum kids at EbaumsWorld were clarifying that she was banging the British Royal Marines and not the American (Thank You), Brutish&Short really thought she was hilarious and adorable (So did I until I realized she was a lie), and one dude started an AMA request on Reddit… (Dude, it’s Reddit, if you’re posting and you didn’t sniff out it’s a fake, you’re a lost cause.)"
#2. To: abraxas (#0)
Must. Spill. The. Beans.
-Alex Kurtagic
#3. To: X-15, Turtle, abraxas (#2)
You sure? Wouldn't want to deflate Turtle's hopes for some hot granny action.. 
"The real deal is this: the ‘royalty’ controlling the court, the ones with the power, the ones with the ability to make a difference, with the ability to change our course, the ones who will live in infamy if we pass the tipping points, are the captains of industry, CEOs in fossil fuel companies such as EXXON/Mobil, automobile manufacturers, utilities, all of the leaders who have placed short-term profit above the fate of the planet and the well-being of our children." - James Hansen
#4. To: FormerLurker, Turtle, X-15 (#3)
lol.....I was tuning into some want-to-be-gigolo-with-no-customers envy toward the 100 granny ho from Turtle. You sure? Wouldn't want to deflate Turtle's hopes for some hot granny action..
" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11
"Life's tough, and even tougher if you're stupid." --John Wayne
#5. To: X-15 (#2)
Derb nub it, Buzzkill!! I was debating humor vs. history category prior to posting. : )
" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11
"Life's tough, and even tougher if you're stupid." --John Wayne
#6. To: abraxas, Turtle (#4)
I think the tire swing and rolling pin thing really got Turtle intrigued.
"The real deal is this: the ‘royalty’ controlling the court, the ones with the power, the ones with the ability to make a difference, with the ability to change our course, the ones who will live in infamy if we pass the tipping points, are the captains of industry, CEOs in fossil fuel companies such as EXXON/Mobil, automobile manufacturers, utilities, all of the leaders who have placed short-term profit above the fate of the planet and the well-being of our children." - James Hansen
#7. To: FormerLurker, Turtle (#6)
lol......you may be right. : ) Turtle, what say you? I think the tire swing and rolling pin thing really got Turtle intrigued.
" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11
"Life's tough, and even tougher if you're stupid." --John Wayne
#8. To: abraxas, FormerLurker, Turtle (#5)
Hehehehe... Turtle can still dream about it, can't he??
-Alex Kurtagic
#9. To: abraxas (#7)
I think the tire swing and rolling pin thing really got Turtle intrigued. lol......you may be right. : ) I have the first above my bed and the second under it.
Serial killer psychopaths ruin families. Corporate psychopaths ruin societies -- Prof. Robert Hare
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