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Title: I hit the freebee jackpot today! WOOT!
Source:
Somewhere
URL Source: [None]
Published: Feb 16, 2012
Author: Me
Post Date: 2012-02-16 20:10:28 by Critter
Keywords: None
Views: 301
Comments: 25
12 cases, (144 pieces) MREs with heaters, for free. Yup! That's right, free! I feel good! I feel great! Nothing like free MREs to make my day! Poster Comment: May even be getting another 12 cases next week.
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#1. To: Critter (#0)
How did you get that for free?
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi "If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken "..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
Woot! Woot! Hoooray for Critter! : )
" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11 "Life's tough, and even tougher if you're stupid." --John Wayne
I must not say. My lips are sealed. You can torture me all you wish, I won't roll over on... whoever gave them to me. :p
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Actually, they were at a food pantry and no one ever wanted any, and I know someone who knows someone, who said they'd like to see them start going out the door....
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If you're nice to me, I'll feed you when the SHTF. ;)
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I am glad you were able to get them. You never know when they might come in handy.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi "If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken "..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
Good job! I've got a pantry shelf full of heaters, but I'm down to one partial case :(
#2. To: Critter (#0)
#3. To: James Deffenbach (#1)
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
#4. To: James Deffenbach (#1)
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
#5. To: abraxas (#2)
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
#6. To: Critter (#4)
#7. To: Critter (#0)
-Alex Kurtagic
#8. To: X-15, James Deffenbach, abraxas (#7)
Check out local food banks. They may have a shit pile of them that no one wants. :) Good job! I've got a pantry shelf full of heaters, but I'm down to one partial case :(
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
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#9. To: Critter (#0)
HOMEMADE CHILI I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one.. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to shit yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened.. No 'Watson's Movement. Despite the chillies swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'. Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the deck. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase.. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, Shit, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The chillies from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The chillies fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a toxic cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red aproned clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the toxic non-visible fog that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. .........BIG mistake!!!!! Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny.. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilet, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand explosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-bitch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left. Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.' My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store
#10. To: bush_is_a_moonie (#9)
Damn, I thought I was getting a good MRE chili recipe somewhere in all that.
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
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#11. To: bush_is_a_moonie (#9)
OK - not a high bar, but Post Of The Day. while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-bitch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.
"Satan / Cheney in "08" 
#12. To: bush_is_a_moonie (#9)
LOL! That was funny, thanks for the laugh. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-bitch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#13. To: Critter, all (#10)
link: www.jokecrazy.com/modules...ews&file=article&sid=1322 Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank Judge #3) Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili... Judge # 1 --! A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy! Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili... Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans. Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer... Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic... Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne ! peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks. Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety... Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, a! nd garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili... Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced ! chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?" Judge # 3 -- Oh God.........
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#14. To: bush_is_a_moonie (#9)
ROFLMAO!!!! It's always funny until somebody gets hurt: then it's effin' hilarious! With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny..
-Alex Kurtagic
#15. To: Critter (#8)
You're going to food pantries? I thought I was in bad shape.
#16. To: Fred Mertz (#15)
No, no no..... lmao! Someone told me about this place that had a huge pile of these that they would like to see go away. :) You're going to food pantries? I thought I was in bad shape.
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
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#17. To: Critter (#16)
They're worth at least five bucks each. Maybe you can trade them for silver.
#18. To: Fred Mertz (#17) (Edited)
I got 144 of them Jackpot! If I get another 12 cases and then hold out til SHTF, maybe I can get a morgan dollar per MRE? :) Maybe you can trade them for silver.
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
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#19. To: Critter (#0)
Is that stuff any good? Provident sells MRE packages and I've been wanting to make a purchase.
#20. To: Fred Mertz (#15)
Well, you aren't getting younger. I thought I was in bad shape.
#21. To: Critter, James Deffenbach, All (#13) (Edited)
Chili Ingredients: 2 lbs of ground venison or lean angus, Carroll Shelby's Chili Kit , large red onion, 3-5 serrano peppers, 1-2 jalapeno peppers, 2-4 New Mexico red chili pods, 2 cans of tomato paste, 1 can of Ro-Tel 'Hot' Diced Tomatoes With Habanero's. Chop up the onion/peppers making sure to discard the seeds. Brown venison/beef in a large skillet along with chopped onion/peppers. Transfer contents to large pot and add chili kit, tomato paste, chopped chili pods, Ro-Tel, and 3-4 Ro-Tel cans of water. Bring to low boil and simmer for 45 minutes (minimum) or up to 2 hours. Feel free to add some additional GOOD chili powder after about 30 minutes. OPTIONAL (men have been shot over this step): and 1 can of Ranch Style Beans With Jalapeno's about 15 minutes before simmering is done. DON'T add other crap and turn it into a damn stew.....YMMV
-Alex Kurtagic
#22. To: Obnoxicated (#19)
I haven't tried one yet. I'm going to be away for 3 or 4 days, but when I get back, I'm going to try a few different meals and see what they are like. Is that stuff any good?
"[Ron Paul is] the only one who understands our problems. For the rest of them, it’s like a geography bee — name the country, and they want to fight them,” - Jason Nunn
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#23. To: Critter (#5)
Ab is ALWAYS nice to critters. : )
" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11
"Life's tough, and even tougher if you're stupid." --John Wayne
#24. To: bush_is_a_moonie (#9)
LOL! You are a talented story teller. : )
" If you cannot govern yourself, you will be governed by assholes. " Randge, Poet de Forum, 1/11/11
"Life's tough, and even tougher if you're stupid." --John Wayne
#25. To: Critter (#0)
I found a nickel.
"You shall have fun, no matter what you do." -- Turtle
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