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Title: Downside of rising single motherhood
Source:
NewsDay
URL Source: http://www.newsday.com/opinion/oped ... ng-single-motherhood-1.3553050
Published: Mar 5, 2012
Author: Cathy Young
Post Date: 2012-03-05 13:34:40 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 529
Comments: 9
The trend toward unwed parenthood has reached a new milestone: More than half of births to American women younger than 30 now occur outside of marriage. Predictably, some lament this as another sign of the fall of civilization. Others see it as something to celebrate. On the feminist blog Jezebel.com, a headline unabashedly proclaimed: "The Increase in Single Moms Is Actually a Good Thing." The article argued that women are now empowered enough to be choosy about the men they marry. On Slate.com, writer Katie Roiphe urges us to recognize that "the facts of American family life no longer match its prevailing fantasies" and that marriage is only one way of raising children. The doomsayers may exaggerate, but the cheerleaders are misguided. It's great news that more women are economically self-sufficient. But there are at least two major reasons the rise of single motherhood should not be hailed as a victory for female autonomy. One is children. The other is men. Children born to single mothers do not always fare worse than children of married couples. But all else being equal, out-of-wedlock birth is a risk factor for economic hardship, psychological and behavioral problems, and lower educational attainment. There are other ways the kids lose out. Many single mothers speak of their children's longing for fathers. While many unmarried mothers live with these men, such relationships dissolve twice as often as marriages, and never-married fathers are less likely to stay involved in the lives of their children than divorced fathers. Roiphe, a divorced mother of two, writes that her younger child, born outside marriage, gives his affection to "fatherish" figures such as his half-sister's dad. Unfortunately, the men who come and go in the lives of moms often do the children more harm than good, including not just the heartbreak of attachment and loss, but also physical and sexual abuse. Fatherlessness is not only bad for children; it is also bad for men -- and for gender equality. Many feminists have lamented the fact that, while women have moved into traditionally male roles in the workforce and made great strides in career achievement, they continue to do most of the traditionally female work of housekeeping and child care. Gloria Steinem is fond of saying that we have learned that women can do everything men can do, but not the other way around. This, many agree, is the unfinished business of the last half-century's revolution in gender roles. In fact, married fathers, especially in households where both parents work, have become involved in hands-on child-rearing to an extent that would have seemed unthinkable 50 years ago. It is no longer unusual to see fathers changing diapers, bottle-feeding infants, or shopping with toddlers. Stay-at-home dads are a small but growing population. Yet the trend toward more engaged fatherhood is being canceled out by the growing number of children with no father in the home. This redefinition of families as women and their children is a modern-day version of the old-fashioned, very non-feminist notion of family and child-rearing as a female domain in which men are only visitors. Sending men the signal that they are disposable is hardly a way to encourage them to be better fathers. Concerns about the drop in two-parent families are often couched in sexist nostalgia for the days when men were the breadwinners and women stayed home. The 1950s-style family is certainly not the only environment in which children can thrive. But glorifying single motherhood is no better and, in the end, no less sexist. RSS Poster Comment: Goddamn Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem straight to Hell. I am tired to having talks with fatherless young men. "So what did you think of Bob?" (Looking at ground) "He's kind of a prick...but he's okay. Is he coming over again?"
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#1. To: Turtle (#0)
Wasn't it Gloria Steinem who screeched at young women to avoid marriage but turned around and got married herself?? Gloria Steinem is fond of saying that we have learned that women can do everything men can do, but not the other way around.
-Alex Kurtagic
#2. To: X-15 (#1)
Excellent! Gloria Steinem was a change agent for the intelligence and was used to destroy the institution of marriage and family so that the wealthy elite would not have to worry about competition with the middle-class. So she urged women to stay single but yet look what she does. She marries! I have observed that these people have the ability to con people out of anything including a rich life in marriage and family. Therefore, I refuse to listen to what these people tell me...I watch what they do and sure enough what they do is always the opposite of what they tell others to do. It's the same thing with. Warren Buffet. Do you think for a minute that the rich sob is ever going to share his secret to the middle-class on how to achieve true wealth? Course not. Wasn't it Gloria Steinem who screeched at young women to avoid marriage but turned around and got married herself??
#3. To: X-15, purplerose (#1)
Steinem told woman to not get married, it was a trap, they didn't need men. In her life she had long-term romantic relationships, finally got married and said it was because "things had changed" even though one year before she said they hadn't. A lying, hypocritical POS who did the exact opposite of what she advised for young women naive enough to believe her.
"You shall have fun, no matter what you do." -- Turtle
#4. To: Turtle (#0)
This seems to present good reasons for making contraception and abortion readily available.
#5. To: All (#0)
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”
—Samuel Adams
#6. To: Shoonra (#4)
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”
—Samuel Adams
#7. To: Turtle (#3)
Here, turtle. Steinem was a CIA asset.
#8. To: Turtle (#0)
That's a universel truth. This phenomenon is seen in nonhuman animals as well. The study: Slotow et al, "Killing of Black and White Rhinoceroses by African Elephants in Hluhluwe- Umfolozi Park, South Africa" documented that when adult male elephants were removed from the family units, the adolescent males started displaying unprovoked aggression towards rhinos, even killing them. Without a responsible male in the picture, appropriate development of offspring is arrested. But all else being equal, out-of-wedlock birth is a risk factor for economic hardship, psychological and behavioral problems, and lower educational attainment.
#9. To: Turtle (#0)
She married Christian Bale's Dad, David Bale. No wonder Christian had a melt down on the set of Terminator Salvation.
"Call Me Ishmael" -Ishmael, A character from the book "Moby Dick" 1851. "Call Me Fishmeal" -Osama Bin Laden, A character created by the CIA, and the world's Hide And Seek Champion 2001-2011. -Tommythemadartist
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