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Title: Euthanize all Obnoxious Midgets
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 10, 2012
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2012-03-10 12:18:53 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 245
Comments: 5

I decided years ago it would be a better world if all those with the Little Man Complex were euthanized. There should be "Little Man" Termanination vans that would have workers that would jump out, knock the Little Men in the head, drag them into the van, give them the kind of shot you give ailing pets, then dump them in a mass grave.

I realized this in college when my mother worked as an admitting clerk at in the ER. She told me of all the interns she dealt with, the only one who was a complete and utter asshole was a tiny Jewish doctor with a bad case of the Little Man Complex.

I met him one time when for some reason I don't remember I had to go to the hospital to see my mother. This tiny little doctor comes clomping out from behind the desk -- and the reason this 5'3" doctor was clomping is because he was wearing three-inch heels.

As he walked by he gave me a very dirty look, the reason being, apparently, is that I was 6', 160 pounds, with longish blond hair and blue eyes. I'm sure he was eaten up by envy and thinking:

NAZI!!!!!!

I held up my right hand and showed him a one-inch space between my thumb and forefinger. One of the nurses behind me stifled a laugh.

He glared at me and snarled, "You think you're funny?"

I looked above his head into the middle distance, put a puzzled look on my face, and said, "Did I hear something squeaking by an ankles? No, I don't think so. I'm imagining things."

Then I turned by back on him to see two nurses biting their lips, and my mother smirking.

I was wondering what this guy, with his molasses-slow brain, was going to do. I was hoping he'd become hysterical and shriek, "Nazi!!! Anti-semite!!!" which would have resulted in an out-of-court settlement with the hospital.

Inside I heard clomp clomp clomp as he staggered away on his high heels.

I only have problems with Little Men once every ten years. But it's always the same thing. ""How dare you be six-feet-tall, YOU BASTARD!!!" Like I chose my height.

Once the Little Men are eradicated, it will be a much better world.

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#1. To: Turtle (#0)

Inside I heard clomp clomp clomp as he staggered away on his high heels.

"Sounds like nazis marching in this hospital!"

--------------------------------------------------------
Somebody ought to tell the truth about the Bible. The preachers dare not, because they would be driven from their pulpits. Professors in colleges dare not, because they would lose their salaries. Politicians dare not. They would be defeated. Editors dare not. They would lose subscribers. Merchants dare not, because they might lose customers. Men of fashion dare not, fearing that they would lose caste. Even clerks dare not, because they might be discharged. And so I thought I would do it myself... Robert Ingersoll

PSUSA2  posted on  2012-03-10   12:24:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: PSUSA2 (#1)

One of my friends recently me a story when he went to complain to the head of Advanced Placement about the idiotic questions his son was offered.

The guy was about 5'5" and had a sign on his wall, "Dr. So-and-So knows everything."

My friend, who is working on a Ph.D. in Econ, made a fool of this guy and he threatened to call security.

"You shall have fun, no matter what you do." -- Turtle

Turtle  posted on  2012-03-10   13:12:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Turtle (#0)

"Never frighten a little man, he'll kill you." ~ Lazarus Long (Robert Heinlein)

Perseverent Gardener
"“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings - that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~ Gautama Siddhartha — The Buddha

Original_Intent  posted on  2012-03-10   14:27:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Turtle (#0)

"Euthanize all Obnoxious Midgets"

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!

We have Midget Tossing at our State Fair every year!

That would ruin our Sport!!!

ndcorup  posted on  2012-03-10   17:37:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: ndcorup (#4)

We have Midget Tossing at our State Fair every year!

"You shall have fun, no matter what you do." -- Turtle

Turtle  posted on  2012-03-11   16:32:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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