[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

New 4um Interface Coming Soon Attack of the Dead-2025. Canada strips Jewish National Fund of charitable status Minnesota State Rep. Vang just admitted that she is an ILLEGAL ALIEN. 1100% increase in neurological events since the roll-out of Covid mRNA 16 Things That Everyone Needs To Know About Violent Far-Left Revolution In Los Angeles Undercover video in Arizona alleges ongoing consumer fraud by Fairlife Dozens arrested after San Francisco protest turns violent Sunday Looking for the toughest badasses in the city (Los Angeles) Democrat Civil War Explodes: DNC Chair Threatens to Quit Over David Hogg Invaders waving Mexican flags, pour onto the 101 Freeway in Los Angeles Australian Fake News Journo Hit By Rubber Bullet In L.A. Riot 22-year-old dies after being unable to afford asthma inhaler North Korean Bulsae-4 Long-Range ATGM Spotted Again In Russian Operation Zone Alexander Dugin: A real Maidan has begun in Los Angeles State Department Weighing $500 Million Grant to Controversial Gaza Aid Group: Report LA Mayor Karen Bass ordered LAPD to stand down, blocked aid to federal officers during riots. Russia Has a Titanium Submarine That Can ‘Deep Dive’ 19,700 Feet Shocking scene as DC preps for Tr*mp's military birthday parade. Earth is being Pulled Apart by Crazy Space Weather! Volcanoes go NUTS as Plasma RUNS OUT Gavin, feel free to use this as a campaign ad in 2028. US To Formalize Military Presence in Syria in Deal With al-Qaeda-Linked Govt GOP Rep Introduces Resolution Labeling Free Palestine Slogan as Anti-Semitism Two-thirds of troops who left the military in 2023 were at risk for mental health conditions UK and France abandon plans to recognise Palestinian state at conference Kamala Backs LA Protests After Rioters Attack Federal Officers Netanyahu's ultra-Orthodox partners move ahead with Knesset dissolution plan Former Prime Minister of Ukraine: Zelensky will leave the country Man protesting Paramount ICE raid added to FBI's Most Wanted JUAN O SAVIN- The Plan to Capture America

4play
See other 4play Articles

Title: Dodgeball--the Greatest Sport Ever
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 20, 2012
Author: Internet
Post Date: 2012-03-20 14:13:51 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 222
Comments: 2

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Justin: What? [Patches throws a wrench and hits Justin in the face]

Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.

Patches O'Houlihan: I ain't crazy and I ain't a guy.

Peter La Fleur: [after Patches hits Justin in the face with a wrench] Yeah, uh, Patches... are you sure that this is completely necessary? Patches O'Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Peter La Fleur: Probably not. Patches O'Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste. Peter La Fleur: ...Okay.

[while everyone is doing the shuttle run] Patches O'Houlihan: Come on! I get better runs in my shorts!

Patches O'Houlihan: [giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

Patches O'Houlihan: If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

Patches O'Houlihan: My sweet dick, it's magic!

Patches O'Houlihan: [about Gordon getting angry] Go you crazy son of a bitch GO!

Patches O'Houlihan: Those men and that muff-diver believe in you.

[Kate decapitates White Goodman's cardboard stand-up with a well-aimed dodgeball. Everyone stares at her] Kate Veatch: What? Eight years of softball. Dwight: Man, she gotta be a lesbian. Peter La Fleur: She is *not* a lesbian. Patches O'Houlihan: All I know is, that dyke can play!

Patches O'Houlihan: If you want to have dodgeball victory, you have to grab it by its haunches and you gotta hump it into submission!

Patches O'Houlihan: I love the smell of queef in the morning.

Patches O'Houlihan: You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat!

Patches O'Houlihan: I've got some hookers in my room. What do you say we go celebrate? My treat. Peter La Fleur: No, thanks I'll just stick with the scarf, but thank you. Patches O'Houlihan: Suit yourself, queer. [Patches turns and drives off]

Patches O'Houlihan: Tomorrow, we're gonna pecker-slap those Globo-Gym bastards!

Patches O'Houlihan: Son, you're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop!

Patches O'Houlihan: [Giving advice from beyond the grave to Peter LaFleur at the climactic game] Listen up, crotch stain. Remember your training, and trust your instincts. You can do it! I believe in you! Bye-bye!

Patches O'Houlihan: Your about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop!

Young Patches O'Houlihan: Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation.

Young Patches O'Houlihan: This is Patches O'Houlihan saying "Take care of your balls, and they'll take care of you."

Poster Comment:

The only sport I was ever good at was dodgeball. So when the movie came out, I went to see it, and ever since Patches O'Houlihan has been my hero.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

#1. To: Turtle (#0)

Uhhhhhh....

Cynicom  posted on  2012-03-20   14:17:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Uhhhhhh....

Best role Rip Torn ever had.

"You shall have fun, no matter what you do." -- Turtle

Turtle  posted on  2012-03-20   14:23:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]