[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Elderly Veteran kills 3 Home Invaders

Number One Longevity Food

Inflation Highest In Democrat States, Lowest In Republican Deep South

TikToker admits to being paid $150 a day to protest Trump’s deportation policies in LA

A GREAT update on the Trump fraud case ($454.2 million judgment) at the appellate court.

Mexican Senate President Revives Territorial Claims Amid Los Angeles Civil Unrest

Rooftop Korean' issues chilling threat about LA's future 30 years after Rodney King riots

Bystanders jump in front of ICE vehicles with arrested migrants inside

Israeli companies struggling to find customers amid Gaza genocide:

Farmers are being pressured to sell their land to this. Not good!

Palantir EXPOSED: The New Deep State

Military Overview: Ukrainian Fronts Crumble Under Multi-Axis Assault

ICE prepares full assault on five Democrat cities as LA goes into lockdown amid immigration riots

Invisible Missile Triggers MILITARY PANIC! (This is the Russian Zircon)

Mass arrests as defiant immigration protesters ignore lockdown orders in LA

Visit California: It's America's Future

FBI Director Kash Patel sues MSNBC columnist Frank Figliuzzi

The Ukraine war did not "bleed out" Russia. It bled US taxpayers

America Is Full. Time To Close The Door.

Golden Dome Idiocy

Israeli Media: Trump Told Netanyahu To Permanently End War in Gaza

21 days left till BASEL III is implemented. VIDEO EXPLANATION

China’s bottom half holds twice the wealth of America’s.

China’s extreme weather is leaving devastation across multiple provinces

Salton Sea is emitting foul-smelling hydrogen sulfide gas

Will Treasury Secretary Bessent's Past (Soros) Come Back To Haunt Him Today?

BBC Under Fire for CENSORING Gaza Medic Documentary

US is Agreement Incapable

Blow to Israeli Intelligence. taping Israelis in bathrooms

“They have 500 mRNA shots in the pipeline.”


4play
See other 4play Articles

Title: Dodgeball--the Greatest Sport Ever
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 20, 2012
Author: Internet
Post Date: 2012-03-20 14:13:51 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 230
Comments: 2

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Justin: What? [Patches throws a wrench and hits Justin in the face]

Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.

Patches O'Houlihan: I ain't crazy and I ain't a guy.

Peter La Fleur: [after Patches hits Justin in the face with a wrench] Yeah, uh, Patches... are you sure that this is completely necessary? Patches O'Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Peter La Fleur: Probably not. Patches O'Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste. Peter La Fleur: ...Okay.

[while everyone is doing the shuttle run] Patches O'Houlihan: Come on! I get better runs in my shorts!

Patches O'Houlihan: [giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

Patches O'Houlihan: If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

Patches O'Houlihan: My sweet dick, it's magic!

Patches O'Houlihan: [about Gordon getting angry] Go you crazy son of a bitch GO!

Patches O'Houlihan: Those men and that muff-diver believe in you.

[Kate decapitates White Goodman's cardboard stand-up with a well-aimed dodgeball. Everyone stares at her] Kate Veatch: What? Eight years of softball. Dwight: Man, she gotta be a lesbian. Peter La Fleur: She is *not* a lesbian. Patches O'Houlihan: All I know is, that dyke can play!

Patches O'Houlihan: If you want to have dodgeball victory, you have to grab it by its haunches and you gotta hump it into submission!

Patches O'Houlihan: I love the smell of queef in the morning.

Patches O'Houlihan: You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat!

Patches O'Houlihan: I've got some hookers in my room. What do you say we go celebrate? My treat. Peter La Fleur: No, thanks I'll just stick with the scarf, but thank you. Patches O'Houlihan: Suit yourself, queer. [Patches turns and drives off]

Patches O'Houlihan: Tomorrow, we're gonna pecker-slap those Globo-Gym bastards!

Patches O'Houlihan: Son, you're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop!

Patches O'Houlihan: [Giving advice from beyond the grave to Peter LaFleur at the climactic game] Listen up, crotch stain. Remember your training, and trust your instincts. You can do it! I believe in you! Bye-bye!

Patches O'Houlihan: Your about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop!

Young Patches O'Houlihan: Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation.

Young Patches O'Houlihan: This is Patches O'Houlihan saying "Take care of your balls, and they'll take care of you."


Poster Comment:

The only sport I was ever good at was dodgeball. So when the movie came out, I went to see it, and ever since Patches O'Houlihan has been my hero.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: Turtle (#0)

Uhhhhhh....

Cynicom  posted on  2012-03-20   14:17:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Cynicom (#1)

Uhhhhhh....

Best role Rip Torn ever had.

"You shall have fun, no matter what you do." -- Turtle

Turtle  posted on  2012-03-20   14:23:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest


[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]