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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: Advice Parents Should Give Their Children
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jun 5, 2012
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2012-06-05 12:29:23 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 234
Comments: 3

I don’t mean advice about how putting Tab A into Slot B leads to babies.

For girls, this is what parents should tell them:

You are not a Princess and there is no Mr. Perfect. And if there is a Mr. Perfect, what makes you think you’re good enough for him?

Your “standards” just might be ridiculous, and if you babble about “not lowering them” I’m going to smack you across the back of the head. You deserve it.

You don’t have your entire life to find Mr. Perfect, or Mr. Half-Perfect, or even Mr. Quarter-Perfect. Whether you believe it or not, once you’re past 27 your value to most men drops like a rock.

Drug-abusing promiscuous party girls are not marriage-material to men. You’re just a fun time to them – nothing more.

If you think you can raise a boy without a husband you’ll probably find out why the word “bastard” means “a fatherless boy” and “a cruel heartless man.”

And if your son asks you why he doesn’t have a father, don’t spout some bullshit about “how I loved you so much I didn’t think you needed a father.” At the minimum he’ll call you a fucking liar (which you are) and tell you he hates you (which he does). At the maximum….well, let’s just say you might end up hurt.

You can’t fix Bad Boys and they don’t love you anyway no matter how much you con yourself they do.

If you whine about “How there are no good men” just remember where you left them – back in your 20’s.

If a guy you’re interested in doesn’t ask you out it won’t kill you to suggest to him they maybe you’d like to get a cup of coffee.

The word “spinster’ is not a compliment. It means your ovaries have shriveled up, along with everything else.

Now, here’s some advice for boys:

The word for a man who spends his life trying to seduce as many women as possible is a “cad.” Cads end up alone no matter how much they con themselves they won’t.

Kick your White Knight to the curb. You can’t fix crazy women no matter how much you’re hard-wired to fix things.

If any woman doesn’t show any gratitude to you kick her to the curb.

If they run don’t chase them. Throw their clothes after them and close the door in case they realize how childish they are, change their minds and try to get back in.

If you can’t wake up next to her every morning for the rest of your life and be glad she’s there, it’s not love.

There are plenty of girls on the Girl Tree.

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#1. To: Turtle (#0)

Kick your White Knight to the curb.

Or as my Dad said, don't marry a woman with more problems than you have.

Our white sons are sent to war against non-whites who have done us no harm, and this is not called crime;
at home, non-white criminals prey upon our wives and daughters and this is not called war.

Prefrontal Vortex  posted on  2012-06-05   12:40:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Prefrontal Vortex (#1)

I had a drunk tell me years ago, "Don't sleep with any woman crazier than you are."

I guess that's why he was a drunk.

I sense a disturbance in the farce. Much gnashing will ensue.

Turtle  posted on  2012-06-05   13:28:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Turtle (#0)

You can’t fix crazy women no matter how much you’re hard-wired to fix things.

If any woman doesn’t show any gratitude to you kick her to the curb.

Yep, you can't fix crazy, most are, the exception is the rule.

Yup, and kick her to the curb now, not tomorrow, or next week, now !!

For, the really, really crazy beotches it is good to deploy some reverse psychology. I once dated a crazy special ed teacher, stoopid too, and just wouldn't let me break it off. Finally, one day I wrote her a letter, revealing my 'true feelings' about her, her friends, and her family.....lol. She responded with, "don't call, don't write, don't drop bye"...lol. Worked like a charm, most could care less about your feelings, they want to know what you can do for THEM !!! But for some reason, I will never understand, and could care less to, the really nut jobs want to be the one's to break it off, not the other way around, so guys you want to get rid of crazy just...go ahead.....and tell 'em how you feel about them, their friends and their family.....and be honest !!!! ;0)

Lysander_Spooner  posted on  2012-06-05   15:13:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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