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Title: Judge Recounts Raucous Spring Break Tales
Source: The Tampa Tribune/AP
URL Source: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie ... AK_COURT?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=US
Published: Nov 14, 2005
Author: LYNN BREZOSKY
Post Date: 2005-11-14 20:15:57 by Dakmar
Keywords: Recounts, Raucous, Spring
Views: 52
Comments: 3

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas (AP) -- Making out with palm trees. Mistaking police cars for taxicabs. Rolling a stolen restaurant barbecue down the road, flames shooting up from the chicken still cooking on the grill.

Such spring-break high jinks have made Municipal Judge David Colwell's courtroom one of the best shows in town. Now Colwell has collected some of the memorable anecdotes from the past nine years, in a new self-published book, "Spring Break: A Judge's View From the Bench," being sold at local bookstores.

Although Colwell recounts some serious episodes of violence and death, the majority of the anecdotes in the 98-page book are humorous.

Most have to do with public intoxication, and the often silly excuses defendants give.

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"I am always glassy-eyed, talk with a slur and walk with an unsteady balance," said one.

Guilty, said the judge.

The 60-year-old judge sits in front of a colorful seascape mural and wears tennis shoes when holding court on the weekends. In general, he said, he tries to keep things a little lighter during spring break.

"My primary rule is if I have to sit up there all day, by God, they have an obligation to entertain me," he said. When he hears snickers, he tells those in the courtroom: "Go ahead and laugh. I'm going to laugh with you, because most of the time it's so darn stupid."

Like the defendant who threw a beer can out of a pickup truck and hit a police car.

"I informed him that this is Texas," Colwell wrote. "You are supposed to throw the beer cans from the cab into the back of the pickup, which has been well known for years as a traveling wastebasket."

A student from New York appeared before the judge and did not fight his indecent exposure charge, instead asking what his punishment would be.

Colwell wrote: "Instead of explaining again that in the United States you are innocent until proven guilty, I said, `This is Texas. We don't allow men to go around exposing themselves to young ladies. We have a tree out back, and we're going to hang you.' The defendant turned pale. Being from N.Y., with tales of the Old West in his head, he actually believed me."

The judge said he has sold about 500 copies of the book.

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#1. To: Dakmar (#0)

Dude needs to be on the Supreme Court.

The current crows have not had a laugh in a collective thousand years.

Lod  posted on  2005-11-14   20:43:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: lodwick (#1)

Deep in the south of texas Not so long ago, There on a crowded island In the gulf of mexico

It didn't take too much money, Man, but it sure was nice. You could dance all night if you felt all right, Drinking whiskey and throwing dice.

And everybody knows It was hard to leave. And everybody knows It was down at the balinese.

Yeah, I remember ruby, She always dressed in red Wearing skintight pants, lord, and how she could dance With a rag wrapped around her head.

And everybody knows It was hard to leave. And everybody knows It was down at the balinese.

And everybody knows It was hard to leave. And everybody knows It was down at the balinese, It was down at the balinese, It was down at the balinese.

And I'm optimistic. See, I think you can be realistic and optimistic at the same time. I'm optimistic we'll achieve -- I know we won't achieve if we send mixed signals. I know we're not going to achieve our objective if we send mixed signals - gwbush

Dakmar  posted on  2005-11-14   20:52:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Dakmar (#2)

Is that kinda like

Down in the Boondocks ?

Lod  posted on  2005-11-14   20:58:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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