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Title: A Cowboy's Tombstone
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 3, 2012
Author: Anonymous
Post Date: 2012-11-03 20:41:26 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 562
Comments: 11

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other, or you could end up dead like me.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 11.

#2. To: Turtle (#0)

What do men and mascara have in common?
They both run at the first sign of emotion.

What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys watching a football game.

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

What's the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.

What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
Straight through the rib cage.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they're all pigs.

Why did God create man before woman?
He didn't want any advice.

Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.

Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

farmfriend  posted on  2012-11-03   21:14:11 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: farmfriend (#2)

Why did God create man before woman?
He didn't want any advice.

How can one infer Biblically that there no women in heaven?

Revelation 8:1 And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.

Buzzard  posted on  2012-11-04   9:41:38 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Buzzard (#10)

LOL

farmfriend  posted on  2012-11-04   10:34:01 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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