First under powers granted by the NDAA I'd have Hillary picked up and disappeared FOREVER. I'd come to the conclusion that the 360 million dollars that the banksters gave to Romney's attempt to unseat me, finally freed me to prosecute each and every one of them for the largest theft of unimaginable scale in history.
And then... For the pressure exerted to attack Iran and the outside attempt to influence the election I would leave America's greatest ally and friend in the middle east twisting in the wind. At every cry for help and funding I would quickly say "I'll get right on that." until, in agony they understood exactly what "I'll get right on that" means.
I'd get 2 blond Russian girls to replace the wookie I've been sleeping with.
I'd pay Turtle his $5.00 for throwing the election my way.