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Title: Women and Flowers
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Published: Dec 6, 2012
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2012-12-06 11:10:42 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 3159
Comments: 104
I am half owner of a floral shop (no wise cracks - I ain't gay). I don't listen to women's complaints when it comes to flowers. They're always wrong. A man can send a woman a $120 arraignment with 18 red roses and she'll find something to complain about it. In fact, the way a woman responds to flowers is the biggest red flag I know of about what her character is really like. If she doesn't appreciate a $30 arraignment and be grateful, she won't be grateful for anything. That particular kind of unpleasant ungrateful woman also seems to think if they don't like the arraignment, I'm supposed to send them another arraignment...and they think they're supposed to keep the first one. I never send out another arraignment and I've demanded the first back at the threat of small-claims court (they think they're supposed to get their money back from FTD or Bloomnet or Telefora and still keep the arraignment). Any man who sends a woman 12 to 18 red roses (roses are the most expensive flowers) is a fool.
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#40. To: X-15 (#31)
Well, since the wimmins seem to like flowers I thought I would pass some out too. Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi "If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken "..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
They are breath taking - stunning! - sigh, yes, we 4um wimmins love our flowers.
You need to add a couple of assets to your list and then you'll have to beat off wimmin with a stick: A. buy a pair of wire-rim glasses ( =sensitivity) like this guy: www.youtube.com/watch? v=rj4J6i_vw0w B. grow a beard but keep it short and clipped - ditto for your hair style - (=gainfully employed) like here: www.youtube.com/watch? v=AscPOozwYA8 C. also if you can buy a Subaru Outback (=sporty, down to earth) or a small BMW coupe 135i (=cool without being ostentatious) it would be helpful - yes, I know BMW is rear wheel drive and not very practical for Ohio winters, but those cars look mega fun to drive! D. wearing anything wide wale corduroy (=understated sexy) - Nordstrom's has the best pants! Do those 4 things and you'll be a shoe-in for Honey Heaven Happily Ever After, guaranteed.
Real men would rather take a beating than wear anything corduroy, anything!
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken Otoh, if real men want to have their woman purr, they will wear corduroy. If you don't believe me, ask your wife.
There's lots better ways to please a woman. Even Mrs.L has zero corduroy gear. Trust me, men don't wear corduroy or plaids (except Pendleton wool); they truly do not. Seasonal camo-gear is a better bet for judging manliness. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken That field reminds me of nicest bouquet I ever bought for wife. It was 12 red roses, 12 irises and baby's breath. Simple and beautiful. "The Best Way to Control the Opposition is to Lead it." Vladimir Lenin "I am not a Marxist." Karl Marx
So who buys the men's corduroy pants at Nordstrom's? They ain't gonna stock 'em if they can't sell 'em. Lod, seasonal camo is not sexy to unattached females who Lysander wants to get to attract. Lysander - forget the seasonal camo garb until after the marriage -trust me -then she can't dump you. Also, black or dark navy blue gabardine wool suits worn with open collared shirts are tres sexy, LS, like this:
Wow, I saved that pic and put it on home screen on my iPhone. It looks wicked cool! Thanks! "The Best Way to Control the Opposition is to Lead it." Vladimir Lenin "I am not a Marxist." Karl Marx
Get with the camo-program people! Secede! from the faggy conventions. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken You're welcome!
#41. To: James Deffenbach (#40)
#42. To: Lysander_Spooner (#8)
(Edited)
I'm in my forties, full head of hair, 175lbs., a physician, was a NCAA scholarship athlete, really a good catch by traditional terms
#43. To: scrapper2 (#42)
#44. To: Lod (#43)
Real men would rather take a beating than wear anything corduroy, anything!
#45. To: scrapper2, guys here, 4 (#44)
(Edited)
#46. To: X-15 (#31)
#47. To: Lod, Lysander_Spooner (#45)
Seasonal camo-gear is a better bet for judging manliness.
#48. To: X-15 (#31)
#49. To: scrapper2, LySan, 4, corduroy lovers, real men (#47)
#50. To: Dead Culture Watch (#48)
-Alex Kurtagic
#51. To: Lysander_Spooner (#29)
You left out St. Valentine's Day. Don't ever forget St. Valentine's Day: That Day Counts The Most For Women.
-Alex Kurtagic
#52. To: X-15, gay florists, 3 (#51)
For many years now, I've secured two long-stem, yellow roses w/babies-breath, and that works here.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
#53. To: Lod, Turtle (#52)
"I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it." - William S Burroughs
#54. To: scrapper2 (#42)
I keep one with me at all times for just such purposes. I hope I might have to use it before I die. ahaha. You need to add a couple of assets to your list and then you'll have to beat off wimmin with a stick:
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#55. To: purplerose (#38)
I've got room for one picnic basket in the trunk of my convertible: Do the shades make me look like Steve McQueen?? :) 
-Alex Kurtagic
#56. To: X-15 (#55)
I think it's the fact that is is Steve McQueen in the car is what makes it look like him---shhhhh.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#57. To: scrapper2 (#42)
hahahaha, scrapper. i love it.
#58. To: Lysander_Spooner (#27)
gasp!!!!! :P
#59. To: X-15 (#31)
how did you know that i just love bluebonnets and indian paintbrushes?
#60. To: James Deffenbach (#40)
so pretty! thank you!
#61. To: James Deffenbach (#56)
Hush!!!
-Alex Kurtagic
#62. To: christine (#59)
I'm a perceptive man?? ;-)
-Alex Kurtagic
#63. To: christine (#60)
You're most welcome. so pretty! thank you!
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#64. To: christine (#60)
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#65. To: scrapper2 (#47)
I've got that suit in midnight blue, size 56 short, red hair, one eye and a hare-lip. It ain't working, maybe a hat... Also, black or dark navy blue gabardine wool suits
“Anti-semitism is a disease–you catch it from Jews”–Edgar J. Steele
“The jew cries out in pain, as he strikes you.”–Polish proverb
“I would like to express my heartfelt apologies for the unfortunate and tasteless quotes I published in my tag lines. I am very sorry and ashamed. I never wanted to offend anyone, or to encroach human rights."- Hmmmmm
#66. To: christine (#59)
That's exactly what I was wondering? how did you know that i just love bluebonnets and indian paintbrushes?
“Anti-semitism is a disease–you catch it from Jews”–Edgar J. Steele
“The jew cries out in pain, as he strikes you.”–Polish proverb
“I would like to express my heartfelt apologies for the unfortunate and tasteless quotes I published in my tag lines. I am very sorry and ashamed. I never wanted to offend anyone, or to encroach human rights."- Hmmmmm
#67. To: Hmmmmm (#65)
It ain't working, maybe a hat... hehehehehe... Seriously tho, I think you're missing a red rose boutonnière. Then you're good to go. I've got that suit in midnight blue, size 56 short, red hair, one eye and a hare-lip.
#68. To: Hmmmmm, christine, Esso (#66)
Jealous? I read you're positioning yourself for the future. And if AC-DC Roberts has any say about it, you have been planning well...
#69. To: James Deffenbach (#40)
Oh, my gosh! They brought an orchestra with them. :) Well, since the wimmins seem to like flowers I thought I would pass some out too.
-------
"They're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time." -- Col. Puller, USMC
#70. To: Hmmmmm (#65)
Oooooooooo, you sold me, big fellah, hat or no hat. Now all we gotta do is wait for the supremes to do the wrong thing and we're good to go, honeybuns. I've got that suit in midnight blue, size 56 short, red hair, one eye and a hare-lip.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#71. To: scrapper2, Hmmmmm, christine (#68)
Well, Chrissy did say I was resourceful... And if AC-DC Roberts has any say about it, you have been planning well...
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#72. To: Esso (#70)
Uh oh! Now all we gotta do is wait for the supremes to do the wrong thing and we're good to go, honeybuns.
“Anti-semitism is a disease–you catch it from Jews”–Edgar J. Steele
“The jew cries out in pain, as he strikes you.”–Polish proverb
“I would like to express my heartfelt apologies for the unfortunate and tasteless quotes I published in my tag lines. I am very sorry and ashamed. I never wanted to offend anyone, or to encroach human rights."- Hmmmmm
#73. To: James Deffenbach (#64)
oh, i LOVE that. i tried to post a photo of blue roses, but for some reason all my images post huge and create the need to side to side scroll. i couldn't figure out how to resize this particular one.
#74. To: christine (#73) (Edited)
If you will send me the url for it in a pm I will see what I can do with it. No promises but I might be able to fix it. Glad you liked the one I posted. In the meantime, here is a blue rose you might like. oh, i LOVE that. i tried to post a photo of blue roses, but for some reason all my images post huge and create the need to side to side scroll. i couldn't figure out how to resize this particular one.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#75. To: christine (#73)
The wife wanted blue annuals planted out front of her house last spring. Evidently blue flowers are pure unobtainium. I couldn't find anything. ...blue roses...
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#76. To: Esso, christine (#75)
I had a rose bush one time that produced blue roses (not a deep blue but blue nevertheless). Bloomed for one or two seasons and then died I think. It is HARD to grow blue roses.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#77. To: All (#74)
fractal blue rose
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#78. To: All (#77)
and one of my personal favorites: 
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
#79. To: James Deffenbach (#78)
Stunning photo! But being the traditionalist that I am, nothing beats being sent a dozen long stemmed red roses at Valentine's Day...sigh...
#80. To: scrapper2 (#79)
Glad you like it.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Lord Acton
The human herd stampedes on the fields of facts and the valleys of truth to get to the desert of ignorance. Saman Mohammadi
"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner." Mencken
"..if the military is going to defend our freedoms, then we need freedoms to defend. Our freedoms must be restored before the military can defend them..." Lawrence M. Vance
Você me trata desse jeito só porque eu sou preto. Junior (my youngest son)
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