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Title: ISAF Drops Candy To Afghan Children, Kills 51
Source:
Duffelblog
URL Source: http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/05/i ... ildren-kills-51/#ixzz2HA33Eml4
Published: May 22, 2012
Author: G-Had
Post Date: 2013-01-06 10:30:03 by X-15
Keywords: None
Views: 402
Comments: 11
MAZAR-I-SHARIF, AFGHANISTAN - In a tragic accident earlier today, aircraft belonging to the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) inadvertently killed 51 Afghans near the city of Mazar-i-Sharif while attempting to drop candy to a group of children. According to accounts from both Afghans and international observers, two NATO aircraft, later identified as American C-130s, made a low pass over a village of several hundred Afghans outside the city. Approximately 1.4 million M&Ms were to be delivered via Container Delivery System in a single package with a weight of 1500 lbs. Due to a malfunction in the static line, the parachute failed to deploy and the container crashed through the roof of a local school at nearly 100 miles per hour. Upon impact, the force of the rapidly settling candies caused the sides to explode outward, causing what physics professor Dr. Rosella Schwartz described as, “essentially a 360 degree anti-personnel mine full of chocolate flechettes.” By “flechettes”, Schwartz is referring to the M&Ms’ candy shells, which shattered and spalled upon entering the bodies of the victims and also caused more numerous and severe secondary injuries. Dr. Manuel Velez of the Red Cross, one of the first medical personnel at the site of the impact, had a similar assessment of the candy shells’ damage. “I’ve seen a lot of injuries inflicted on civilians by military ordnance, but this was much worse,” Velez said, stooping to change the bandages on one of the victims while pointing out the many blue, green, and yellow splotches. “The worst were the peanut M&Ms. The soft chocolate acted as a sabot around the peanuts, so basically these things were candy-coated penetrator rounds.” ISAF spokesperson Colonel Mark Marshall, who spoke to reporters today at a press conference in Kabul, said the candy drop was only the latest phase of a new operation called “Reese’s for Peaces.” He added that while ISAF regrets the accidental loss of civilian life, it would not deter them working to relieve the suffering of the Afghan people. Sources at ISAF headquarters in Kabul said the operation was first proposed by Deputy Commander General Bill Whitehead as a way to help boost the morale of Afghans as western forces began their long-anticipated drawdown. General Whitehead said he first got the idea after reading a book about the 1948 Berlin Airlift. After finishing their cargo deliveries, American pilots would drop pieces of candy to impoverished children, which earned the United States a lot of good publicity. “Counterinsurgency is all about winning the hearts and minds of the people,” said General Whitehead, “and as we transition to a much smaller footprint, the Air Force is going to have to take on some of the roles traditionally filled by soldiers, such as handing out candy.” In early March, General Whitehead gave ISAF the authority to begin planning a series of humanitarian airdrops over population centers in Afghanistan. Operation “Reese’s for Peaces” was launched two weeks later, with MQ-9 Reapers dropping several tons of licorice on Kandahar. Over the next few weeks, ISAF warplanes dropped tons of assorted chocolates, sweets, and even ice cream over the war-torn country. Other NATO countries also took part, with French planes dropping bon bons and German planes dropping Bavarian chocolate. The United States, however, is contributing the bulk of the candy being used in the operation. The incident in Mazar-i-Sharif is unfortunately not the first setback for “Reese’s for Peaces”. Other blunders included a crate-load of Baby Ruth bars being dropped short of its target on March 19 and plowing into a bus full of madrassa students, killing 22. On April 27, several Snickers bars hit a wedding party near Kunduz, killing 35. And on May 8, several packs of Starbursts inadvertently hit an orphanage and killed 8 children and an adorable kitten named Mittens. Following the press conference, Colonel Marshall tried to exit the podium, but tripped and crashed into a group of civilians, killing 9.
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#1. To: X-15 (#0)
Great stuff - thanks. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken M&Ms, DU, what's the difference? As long as the goyim are dyin', it's all good, right? Static line malfunction, yeah, that's the ticket! Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner. The kids arriving at the pearly gates could hear Jackie Gleason screaming "how sweet it is" !
Christ, apparently they never miss, and if they accidently do, the children will die from type two diabetes & metabolic syndrome X. Winning the hearts & minds one mashed kitty at a time... Mittens hated us for our freeedumbs. Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner. :) Duffel Blog investigative writer Dark Laughter also contributed to this report.
#2. To: X-15, 4um (#0)
Due to a malfunction in the static line, the parachute failed to deploy and the container crashed through the roof of a local school...
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#3. To: X-15 (#0)
#4. To: X-15, christine, 4um (#0)
(Edited)
The incident in Mazar-i-Sharif is unfortunately not the first setback for “Reese’s for Peaces”. Other blunders included a crate-load of Baby Ruth bars being dropped short of its target on March 19 and plowing into a bus full of madrassa students, killing 22. On April 27, several Snickers bars hit a wedding party near Kunduz, killing 35. And on May 8, several packs of Starbursts inadvertently hit an orphanage and killed 8 children and an adorable kitten named Mittens.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#5. To: Esso (#4)
Following the press conference, Colonel Marshall tried to exit the podium, but tripped and crashed into a group of civilians, killing 9.
-Alex Kurtagic
#6. To: X-15 (#5)
He's the same writer that's dishing out the "Official Sandy Hook Story". Author: G-Had
Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#7. To: Esso (#2)
They're just sugar coating it. Static line malfunction, yeah, that's the ticket!
"I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it." - William S Burroughs
#8. To: Dakmar (#7)
-Alex Kurtagic
#9. To: X-15, Dakmar (#8)
That cookie hates Dakmar for his freeedumbs.
Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#10. To: X-15 (#0)
A sampling of some TDB articles: One article says the Pentagon has proposed a "controversial policy assigning ranks to military spouses" that would include a "spousal court" to solve disputes. Szoldra, a 28-year-old college senior, says regular contributors include about 20 volunteer writers described as "disgruntled Marines, annoyed Army guys and sickened sailors." "I guess airmen just don't have anything to complain about," he says, noting the lack of Air Force offerings. One 23-year-old active-duty Marine, who writes under the name Stormtrooper, scored with his first article: "Marine officer's wife emotionally disturbed after being denied salute." Here's the Military Times' Gina Harkins describing how Szoldra stumbled into writing the blog: Szoldra was a mortarman and a combat instructor during his eight years in the Corps. When he got out in 2010 and transitioned to college life at the University of Tampa, he found the change jarring. He started a website to help others making the switch from the combat zone to the classroom and called it CollegeVeteran.com. In an attempt to boost traffic, Szoldra came up with the idea to add some fake military news. So he posted a story about a colonel in the Air Force who was so sick of the "Chair Force" nickname that he banned all chairs on base. The story was a hit, but he was worried people would think his college veterans site was a joke, so he separated the two and in March, The Duffel Blog was born. About five months later, TDB blog has more than 8,500 fans on Facebook and about 1,200 Twitter followers. Stormtrooper tells the Military Times that writing for TDB is a great outlet for the frustrations of a low-ranking Marine. "Military policy is so absurd sometimes," Stormtrooper says. "We get yelled at for having our hands in our pockets, we get yelled at for not saluting someone, we get yelled at for talking on a cellphone when every other person can do it. Writing about it all is just a great outlet." After posting its article, the Military Times, which, like USA TODAY, is a Gannett publication, got a firsthand taste of The Duffel Blog's humor with a piece accusing it of writing a "hit" piece in claiming TDB writes fake news. "I absolutely cannot believe the levels that Military Times will go to try to marginalize our news organization," Szoldra is quoted as saying in a real-fake response to the real article about the fake news site, if you follow me. "We are the #1 military news organization in the world. I have always said that we would take on and beat Mil-Times and Stars & Stripes." "The jealousy in their newsrooms is quite obvious," he adds. The Duffel Blog article says the blog is exploring "the possibility of a $20 million lawsuit against The Times over allegations of slander, libel, emotional distress, sexual harassment, and the wrongful death of our beloved kitten, Mittens, who committed suicide due to the stress the article caused him." ISAF Drops Candy To Afghan Children, Kills 51
The Duffel Blog's fake military news hits the spot
#11. To: Southern Style (#10)
Thanks for this information.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
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