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Editorial See other Editorial Articles Title: 10 Jokes That People Took Seriously On Tuesday, the “progressive news site” Raw Story did a piece about a three-year-old in North Carolina who was killed while playing with a pink handgun. The site, which claims to feature “stories that get ignored in an infotainment culture,” used the dead child to tell us that gun manufacturers are evil for making guns that look like toys. Among their examples was the new Hello Kitty assault rifle that doesn’t exist. The writer saw a picture of the gun and assumed it was real. What kind of humorless ass-hat thinks Hello Kitty would license their product to a gun manufacturer? Did he think the Care Bear bulletproof vest was real, too? I wouldn’t be surprised if there are still people out there who think Jonathan Swift was seriously suggesting the poor should eat their own babies. People who don’t get jokes are anti-funny, and to be against funny is to be against fun. We’re only on this planet for about 80 years and if you want to ruin this blip in time by taking everything seriously, you should kill yourself. Here are 10 other examples of people not getting the joke. 10. VIDEO-GAME NERD MISTAKEN FOR GUN NUT In January, tech blogger Stephen Totilo posted a picture of himself carrying an insane-looking toy gun from a video game. Despite the fact that this comical gun is much taller than he is, the anti-gun nuts used him as a poster child for everything that’s wrong with the world. About 500 people shared his image on Facebook and the image made it to a page called “Republican Bigotry Hate Fear and Distortion” with one commenter asking, “Is it any accident that he’s a dead-ringer for Lee Harvey Oswald?” If there’s one thing that’s becoming irrefutable about the gun debate, it’s that the anti-gun experts don’t know anything about guns. “The left ran with it and many blacks Tweeted that they were no longer going to vote for Romney, which is sort of like gays boycotting vaginas.” 9. ANN COULTER JUMPED OUT OF A PLANE BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A BLACK WOMAN The first thing that should have tipped people off was hearing about a black female pilot. I’ve never seen one. Have you? The Daily Currant is a funny-looking comedy site that claims to be “The Global Satirical Newspaper of Record,” but that didn’t stop dozens of people wishing death upon Coulter for being so intolerant. The article called her “Ann of mean labels” and claimed she said, “I mean what’s next? Are we gonna let Mexicans become doctors now? Jesus Christ people!” These uptight militants are so determined to prove America is the racist hellhole they learned about in college, they devour every morsel of controversy they’re fed without questioning its origin. It reminds me of the time Coulter said, “our blacks are better than their blacks” and the Perpetually Outraged took it to mean she owns slaves. Not only are jokes verboten, you’re not even allowed to use colorful language when talking about people of color. 8. CHINA ASSUMES NORTH KOREAN DESPOT IS SEXY The Onion gets taken seriously so often you could do a whole article on these cases alone. Their Wiki page lists 16 times their jokes have been taken as fact but my favorite has to be when the Chinese government thought Kim Jong-un is sexy. Can you even conceive of a woman diddling her bean to this beta male butterball? Me neither, but in November, “The People’s Daily ran a 55-page photo spread of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un after he was declared The Onion’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2012.” 7. NEOCON SITE LINKS HARRY POTTER TO SATANISM OK, one more Onion example. I have to include this because it exposes a group almost as annoying as communists. Back in 2001 WorldNetDaily ran an article about Harry Potter leading children down the long dark path to Satanism and the author cited the following quote from the Onion: ”Harry is an absolute godsend to our cause,” said High Priest ‘Egan’ of the First Church of Satan in Salem, MA. “An organization like ours thrives on new blood - no pun intended - and we’ve had more applicants than we can handle lately.” A quick Google search reveals the passage has been cited by fundamentalists many times. Even if you’ve never heard of The Onion, how could these people not spot the clues such as “godsend” and “new blood”? Jesus Christ, people! 6. VP CANDIDATE CALLS RUNNING MATE “THE STENCH” After years of relentless hammering by Democrats, the GOP decided to go with the squarest and most impossibly squeaky-clean candidate imaginable. Not only had Romney never inhaled, he never even held a joint. He never had any extramarital affairs. I’m not even sure his religion lets him drink coffee, so when someone jokingly pretends Paul Ryan refers to Romney as “The Stench,” the scandal-starved media grabs it and runs. 5. MITT ROMNEY MAKES SLAVE JOKES In March 2012, the Free Wood Post, which claims to give you “News that’s almost reliable,” said Romney can relate to black people because his ancestors owned slaves. The left ran with it and many blacks Tweeted that they were no longer going to vote for Romney, which is sort of like gays boycotting vaginas. 4. MITT ROMNEY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW PLANES WORK After Romney’s wife was on a flight that had an electrical fire in September, Romney joked that planes are very dangerous because “the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem.” Yeah, that’s right, a guy with twice as many Harvard degrees as your beloved president thinks it’s not windy when you’re going 500 miles an hour. Romney isn’t cool enough to be funny, but I thought he delivered the joke surprisingly well. Rachel Maddow didn’t. She claims he couldn’t be joking because the incident involved his wife’s safety—or something. Ergo, he has the IQ of a five-year-old. Maddow personifies the type of person who doesn’t get jokes. Not only are they oblivious to the possibility that someone is trying to make light of a bad situation, they arrogantly hoist their mistake on a flagpole and march around town screaming, “SEE?!” 3. RACHEL MADDOW ASSUMES PALIN’S GOING TO INVADE AFRICA When Ann Coulter was confronted with the black-pilot controversy, she said these jokes would work better if they were actually funny. Conversely, when Rachel Maddow learned that no, Sarah Palin is not invading North Africa as was stated on the satirical website ChristWire.org back in February of 2011, she said, “The bad news about a free and open Internet? Sometimes you get had by brilliant satirists.” When that didn’t work she blamed Glenn Beck because he created a world where this would be plausible. Instead of scouring the Internet for someone to blame, Maddow should look in the mirror and say, “Maybe I’m just a smug, humorless cunt.” 2. HUFFPO THINKS CHRISTIANS THINK MEN WHO GO TO ASIA ARE GAY Today’s headlines on ChristWire include “Obama Murders George W. Bush’s Dog in Cold Blood,” “God Smites Australia,” and “Justin Bieber: Drug Addict, Twink, Murderer,” but that didn’t stop the Huffington Post from taking the site seriously—twice! They fell for the same Sarah Palin bit Maddow fell for, but what’s truly amazing about this flub is they had already been through this a year earlier when they believed everything they read in a ChristWire post about gay husbands. The guide featured tips on spotting a closeted spouse and said such men were known to “travel to Asia or big cities often.” The New York Times exposed the prank and the Huffington Post learned their lesson—for five months. Then they learned it again. 1. TAKI READERS THINK GIVING BIRTH IS HARD FOR MEN Dudes, come on! I was kidding when I talked about how hard it was for me to go through childbirth. My wife had a human being ripped from her body and I described the indent her nail left on my finger. I said I only got six hours of sleep and was annoyed by her moaning in pain late at night. How obvious does a joke have to be? 144 COMMENTS on my article mentioned being “dragooned into the operating room” and the “pussification of men.” They sympathized with the horrible ordeal I was put through and said men shouldn’t have to go through it. She’s carrying a child for nine months. I think we can handle an unpleasant afternoon. I said that when she yelled at me, “It nearly made me cry.” Forget the pussification of men. If I made that satire any more obvious I’d have pussified the joke. Are the readers here as anti-satire as the gun-control advocates, liberal pundits, communists, neocons, and fundamental Christians listed above? Please say it isn’t so. That would mean we’re just as uptight as them, and that’s just not funny. Please share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an article, Taki's Magazine misses out on traffic, and our writers don't get paid for their work. Email editors@takimag.com to buy additional rights. http://takimag.com/article/10_jokes_that_people_took_seriously_gavin_mcinnes/print#ixzz2KMAhY4LC Poster Comment: Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: Dakmar (#0)
That's a good one. |
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