[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Kash Patel, Trump’s top choice for CIA Director, wants to immediately release classified

The £4 supplement that could slash blood pressure - reducing stroke, dementia and heart attack risk

RFK Jr. to be involved in oversight of health and agriculture departments under second Trump admin

​​​​​​​"Keep Grinding": Elon Musk's America PAC Will Continue Anti-Soros Push Ahead Of Special Elections & Midterms

Johnny B Goode

Russian Hypersonic Advances Remain Beyond Western Reach

US Preps for War vs China, Dusts-Off Deserted WWII Air Bases

Spain on high alert as deadly storms loom: new flood risks in Barcelona, Majorca, Ibiza.

U.S. Publication Foreign Policy Says NATO Knows Ukraine Is Losing The War

Red Lobster and TGI Fridays are closing. Heres whats moving in

The United Nations is again warning of imminent famine in northern Gaza.

Israeli Drone Attack Targets Aid Distribution Center in Syria

Trump's new Cabinet picks, a Homan tribute, and Lizzo's giant toddler hand [Livestream in progress]

Russia and Iran Officially Link Their National Banking Systems

"They Just Got Handed Fraudulent Books" - Ed Dowd Confirms Our Warning That Trump Is 'Inheriting A Turd Of An Economy'

They're Getting Worse! 😂

'Forever Chemicals' In US Drinking Water: A Growing Problem

Ex-Trump aides warn Israeli ministers not to assume hell back annexation in 2nd term

Netanyahu seeks to delay taking the stand, citing lack of time to prepare during war

Google inadvertently reveals Kiev regimes aircraft stationed, operating from Poland

Taiwan Mulls Massive $15BN Arms Package To Signal Trump It's 'Serious' About Defense

Politician Against War

How do White people know your'e not a damn fool?

Trump Taps Rep. Mike Waltz For NatSec, Lee Zeldin As Head Of EPA

Top 3 Reasons Voters Gave For Not Supporting Harris: Poll

Trump Allies Push Richard Grenell For Secretary Of State

CNN Cheers As Top Kamala Staffer Calls For Jan. 6 "Disruption", Unelected Presidency

(Pt.1) New Border Czar, New Liberal Freak-Outs, MSM Hosts On Struggle Bus, & Megyn Kelly RIPS Celebs

Israel's Haifa Hit By One Of Largest Hezbollah Rocket Barrages Of War

Fury in Sweden at video of Syrian asylum seeker pushing a 91-year-old widow down stairs


Religion
See other Religion Articles

Title: Noahs ark part two
Source: email
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 15, 2013
Author: ?
Post Date: 2013-03-15 19:00:49 by freepatriot32
Ping List: *Humor-Weird News*     Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*
Keywords: Noah, aek, bureaucrats, bible
Views: 178
Comments: 1

In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me." "Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build theArk before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark."Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed." "I needed a Building Permit." "I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."

"My homeowners association claim that I've violated the Neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."

"Then the City Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl." "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

"Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"The Immigration Dept. Is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work." "The labor unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species." "So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark."

"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky."

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. " The Government beat me to it." (1 image)

Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: freepatriot32 (#0)

That was great!

“I believe that there will ultimately be a clash between the oppressed and those who do the oppressing. I believe that there will be a clash between those who want freedom, justice, and equality for everyone and those who want to continue the system of exploitation. I believe that there will be that kind of clash, but I don’t think it will be based on the color of the skin…” -Malcolm X

Southern Style  posted on  2013-03-15   19:04:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest


[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]