[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Scott Ritter: Hezbollah OBLITERATES IDF, Netanyahu in deep legal trouble

Vivek Ramaswamy says he and Elon Musk are set up for 'mass deportations' of millions of 'unelected bureaucrats'

Evidence Points to Voter Fraud in 2024 Wisconsin Senate Race

Rickards: Your Trump Investment Guide

Pentagon 'Shocked' By Houthi Arsenal, Sophistication Is 'Getting Scary'

Cancer Starves When You Eat These Surprising Foods | Dr. William Li

Megyn Kelly Gets Fiery About Trump's Choice of Matt Gaetz for Attorney General

Over 100 leftist groups organize coalition to rebuild morale and resist MAGA after Trump win

Mainstream Media Cries Foul Over Musk Meeting With Iran Ambassador...On Peace

Vaccine Stocks Slide Further After Trump Taps RFK Jr. To Lead HHS; CNN Outraged

Do Trump’s picks Rubio, Huckabee signal his approval of West Bank annexation?

Pac-Man

Barron Trump

Big Pharma-Sponsored Vaccinologist Finally Admits mRNA Shots Are Killing Millions

US fiscal year 2025 opens with a staggering $257 billion October deficit$3 trillion annual pace.

His brain has been damaged by American processed food.

Iran willing to resolve doubts about its atomic programme with IAEA

FBI Official Who Oversaw J6 Pipe Bomb Probe Lied About Receiving 'Corrupted' Evidence “We have complete data. Not complete, because there’s some data that was corrupted by one of the providers—not purposely by them, right,” former FBI official Steven D’Antuono told the House Judiciary Committee in a

Musk’s DOGE Takes To X To Crowdsource Talent: ‘80+ Hours Per Week,’

Female Bodybuilders vs. 16 Year Old Farmers

Whoopi Goldberg announces she is joining women in their sex abstinence

Musk secretly met with Iran's UN envoy NYT

D.O.G.E. To have a leaderboard of most wasteful government spending

In Most U.S. Cities, Social Security Payments Last Married Couples Just 19 Days Or Less

Another major healthcare provider files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy

The Ukrainians have put Tulsi Gabbard on their Myrotvorets kill list

Sen. Johnson unveils photo of Biden-appointed crossdressers after reporters rage over Gaetz nomination

sted on: Nov 15 07:56 'WE WOULD LOSE' War with Iran: Col. Lawrence Wilkerson

Israeli minister says Palestinians should have no voting or land rights

The Case For Radical Changes In US National Defense: Col. Douglas Macgregor


Religion
See other Religion Articles

Title: Noahs ark part two
Source: email
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 15, 2013
Author: ?
Post Date: 2013-03-15 19:00:49 by freepatriot32
Ping List: *Humor-Weird News*     Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*
Keywords: Noah, aek, bureaucrats, bible
Views: 191
Comments: 1

In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me." "Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build theArk before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark."Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed." "I needed a Building Permit." "I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."

"My homeowners association claim that I've violated the Neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."

"Then the City Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl." "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

"Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"The Immigration Dept. Is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work." "The labor unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species." "So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark."

"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky."

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. " The Government beat me to it." (1 image)

Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: freepatriot32 (#0)

That was great!

“I believe that there will ultimately be a clash between the oppressed and those who do the oppressing. I believe that there will be a clash between those who want freedom, justice, and equality for everyone and those who want to continue the system of exploitation. I believe that there will be that kind of clash, but I don’t think it will be based on the color of the skin…” -Malcolm X

Southern Style  posted on  2013-03-15   19:04:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest


[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]