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Title: Disorder in the American Courts
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Apr 25, 2013
Author: .
Post Date: 2013-04-25 23:58:50 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 196
Comments: 16

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Poster Comment:

In the trial I have been watching, State of Arizona v. Jodi Ann Arias, the woman who plays the role of a defense attorney is every bit as dumb as any of this would indicate. She asked one witness if he couldn't get any information from the victim who has been dead since 2008. Apparently the stupid bitch thought the witness could hold a seance and ask him questions. Unbelievable!

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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

Thanks for the laughs. I've seen most of these before years ago. Some have mutated a bit, but still funny.

Pinguinite  posted on  2013-04-26   1:24:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

You're welcome, glad you enjoyed 'em. Some people don't think it possible for lawyers to be quite as dumb as these quotes would make them appear but I've heard them say stuff as dumb and dumber (well, all except for that one about asking questions of a dead man, that about topped the cake).

Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.

Paul Craig Roberts

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-04-26   10:26:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

This is an incredible find, James! As really funny to read these statements are as recorded in court, it's also disturbing and makes me re-think about our so-called professional people in the court and forensics field. You really do have to question their intellect anymore.

purplerose  posted on  2013-04-26   14:18:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Yes, it's scary to think that these people, supposedly some of the brightest amongst us, actually represent people in court. Most people could probably do about as well representing themselves.

Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.

Paul Craig Roberts

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-04-26   19:29:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

A good friend of mine who works in the scientific community did his own divorce and represented himself in court! He prevailed.

purplerose  posted on  2013-04-27   16:54:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

There is no good reason why most people shouldn't be able to represent themselves. You know that old saying that "he who represents himself has a fool for a client"? I am convinced that old adage was made up by lawyers hoping to fool people into thinking they alone could help them with their legal issue, whatever it happened to be. I am also convinced that in many matters most people could do just as well on their own and sometimes much better. I mean, would anyone with a lick of common sense ask a psychologist (or anyone) if they couldn't get information/ask questions of a DEAD MAN? I saw that happen live just last week.

And the other defense lawyer in that case is just as bad, they're both nuts. One of them (the woman) usually represents people who have DUI charges. The other one usually represents people who have been charged with some type of sex crime (child molestation, rape, things like that). And yet here they are representing someone in a trial for murder. Doubt that anyone could do much in this case, the woman who killed the guy did way too much talking when she was arrested and told three different stories about what happened.

Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.

Paul Craig Roberts

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-04-27   17:30:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I won my first lawsuit when I was 23 in a contract law case where a breach of contract took place between myself and the employer. I had made the contractual agreements stating (I was to produce a stage performance) and the purchaser agreed to the terms and signed the deal before I even set foot on stage. Upon my actual performance, they decided to get slick with me and re-nigged on the agreement and I wound up having to take them to court. The court paid for my travel expenses as well as actual performance acted upon by myself. The owner thought I was some idiot off the street. I proved him wrong. I never attended any formal schooling. Just plain common sense here is all that I acted upon. And that is...trust nobody in the business world cause they all want to screw you.

purplerose  posted on  2013-04-27   17:48:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

And that is...trust nobody in the business world cause they all want to screw you.

Rejected, prima facie.

You know that's not true.

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2013-04-27   18:08:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

And that is...trust nobody in the business world cause they all want to screw you.

Well, as much as I agree with you most of the time I will have to disagree on that one. I have known business people who would not cheat you (or anyone) out of a single penny. My family used to have a business and when my dad gave someone a price he stuck to it even if it went up between the time he priced it and the time we got it in to sell. My brother was and still is the same way. Not all business people are crooks.

Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.

Paul Craig Roberts

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-04-27   18:15:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Not all business people are crooks.

That may be true but any person with a brain never lets their guard down in the business world. That's what my dad taught me long ago. Trust nobody in the business world.

Years back I worked for a company for 12 years and the same people running the company wound up screwing their employees out of their paychecks. The employers misled the employees and the State and Federal government when the employees were told they were independent contractors when in fact they were employees. When the company filed for bankruptcy, one of the employees who had been stealing money from the cash register got paid up front from the management team and the rest of us were screwed out of our pay for months. When I went to apply for unemployment, I had to prove I was an employee and also testify before the State Administrative Judge. I got subpoenaed at my one job to appear before the State Administrative Judge for the Dept of Labor. I wound up sitting in their chambers when they made the ruling in my favor and that got the ball rolling for State and Federal investigations into now what they believed to be money laundering of the business and tax fraud.

purplerose  posted on  2013-04-27   18:37:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Business people are people. Some are decent human beings, some aren't. You can't judge them all by the actions of some. I am sure most of us have been ripped off by some unscrupulous person sometime in our lives. I know I have but I still don't automatically assume that anyone I am thinking about buying something from is a crook.

Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.

Paul Craig Roberts

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-04-27   18:45:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Being aware and awake is smart; saying all businesses are crooks is paranoid (and wrong).

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2013-04-27   18:46:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

...trust nobody in the business world cause they all want to screw you

True that not everyone is immoral and may necessarily want to cheat/steal from others in business; however, business is business, and it is indeed good to assume that the corp. or whomever may TRY to do it. most of us dont personally know who owns/runs all the outfits we deal with daily. So therefore, of course anyone with sense will C.Y.A. I think that is what rose is saying.

also, from my perspective, its true that many outfits are indeed untrustworthy. that is why there is no "trust" needed. put it in the written contract, or it doesnt exist.

You always hear gripes about our 'sue happy' society, but from the time i first becaame an adult i learned that court or threats of court is often the only mechanism to enforce a moral order in society. People are simply not decent on their own (

pardon me for a moment :-) concupiscence:

Human nature was deprived of both its preternatural and supernatural gifts and graces, the lower appetite began to lust against the spirit, and evil habits, contracted by personal sins, wrought disorder in the body, obscured the mind, and weakened the power of the will, without, however, destroying its freedom. Hence that lamentable condition of which St. Paul complains when he writes:

I find then a law, that when I have a will to do good, evil is present with me. For I am delighted with the law of God, according to the inward man: but I see another law in my members, fighting against the law of my mind, and captivating me in the law of sin, that is in my members. Unhappy man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (Romans 7:21-25)

Christ by His death redeemed mankind from sin and its bondage. In baptism the guilt of original sin is wiped out and the soul is cleansed and justified again by the infusion of sanctifying grace. But freedom from concupiscence is not restored to man, any more than immortality; abundant grace, however, is given him, by which he may obtain the victory over rebellious sense and deserve life everlasting )

"Even to the death fight for truth, and the LORD your God will battle for you". Sirach 4:28

Artisan  posted on  2013-04-27   19:20:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Good thoughts - thanks.

I enter dealing with others with a neutral position.

Hoping for the best, but not being surprised at the worst.

Engaging, or not, is up to me; based on my perception (right or wrong) of the second party.

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2013-04-27   20:42:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

"I enter dealing with others with a neutral position."

I use my streetsense ability.

"Hoping for the best, but not being surprised at the worst."

Business is like marriage. If you engage in choices made on "neutrality", you're setting yourself up for trouble. You need to check out your partners, (know them well) before getting involved. Example here: A friend of mine once owned an icecream company. One day, one of their friends and father came along and made an offer to go into business with my friend who trusted them with their word as the offer (never thought of hiring an attorney to aid them in this business transaction). My friend never realized what was to happen next. They got an attorney and took my friends ice cream business right from under their nose, trademark and everything. My friend would have been a millionnaire today and never had to work again had they never trusted this so-called "friend" and father. The mistake my friend made was relying on their word. That friend and father pair were probably laughing their asses off all the way to the bank. All based on their word "Trust me" In streetsense, the expression "Trust me" translates to FU.

And you say I'm still paranoid?

purplerose  posted on  2013-04-27   22:02:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

And you say I'm still paranoid?

Just observing, that's all.

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2013-04-27   22:29:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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