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Title: Disorder in the American Courts
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Apr 25, 2013
Author: .
Post Date: 2013-04-25 23:58:50 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 448
Comments: 16

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Poster Comment:

In the trial I have been watching, State of Arizona v. Jodi Ann Arias, the woman who plays the role of a defense attorney is every bit as dumb as any of this would indicate. She asked one witness if he couldn't get any information from the victim who has been dead since 2008. Apparently the stupid bitch thought the witness could hold a seance and ask him questions. Unbelievable!

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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

Thanks for the laughs. I've seen most of these before years ago. Some have mutated a bit, but still funny.

Pinguinite  posted on  2013-04-26   1:24:06 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

You're welcome, glad you enjoyed 'em. Some people don't think it possible for lawyers to be quite as dumb as these quotes would make them appear but I've heard them say stuff as dumb and dumber (well, all except for that one about asking questions of a dead man, that about topped the cake).

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-04-26   10:26:14 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

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