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Miscellaneous
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Title: I am wearing my love dress
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Aug 9, 2013
Author: .
Post Date: 2013-08-09 19:10:48 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 298
Comments: 5

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law­ lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law­ said. “I am wearing my love dress.”

“Love dress? But you’re naked!” said the mother-in-law.

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

What are you doing?” he asked.

This is my love dress” she whispered, sensually.

“Needs ironing,” he said

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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

I Love You Too

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.

He ties the man to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife ... “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes ... He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both.

Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds

... “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear... he told me that he’s gay, that he thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.

Be strong honey. I love you, too "...

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2013-08-09   19:14:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Lod (#1)

LOL!

Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.

Paul Craig Roberts

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-08-09   19:38:13 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: James Deffenbach, Lod, 4 (#0)

A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.

"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.

"Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"

So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"

"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"

"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."

Jethro Tull  posted on  2013-08-09   19:41:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Jethro Tull (#3)

Yeah, sometimes pressing bidness just can't wait until the washing machine door is open.

Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.

Paul Craig Roberts

James Deffenbach  posted on  2013-08-09   19:44:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Jethro Tull, JD, washers, 4 (#3)

"It was only a small load so I did it by hand."

Classic.

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2013-08-09   19:48:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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