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Title: Which Is Worse: Childbirth or Kidney Stones?
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Published: Aug 11, 2013
Author: WiseQuacls
Post Date: 2013-08-11 02:36:59 by Tatarewicz
Keywords: None
Views: 94
Comments: 9
Strolling across the moonlit hospital compound, I was puzzling over how a woman had lost all five of her babies to a mysterious death, each time within days of their birth. Any day now she was about to have number six and so her northern village elders had sent her to my 40-bed hospital in the middle of the jungle island that is Tanna. Was there some genetic defect? Perhaps a bleeding disorder or was this, as some of the nurses had speculated, the unthinkable. Did I have a mass murderess in my over-crowded hospital? Suddenly, without warning, I felt a horrific blow to my lower back. I had been shot. I fell to my knees in pain so excruciating that first I was afraid I was going to die, then I was afraid I wasn’t going to. I picked myself up and limped back up the hill to the hospital. On arriving, I was somewhat relieved that the only blood flowing from my body was coming from my urine. I was the victim of a stoning, a kidney stoning. Pain and misery? You have no idea. All these years I thought that a man-cold was the worst plague of mankind, but this kidney stone thing was possibly even worse. I grabbed a nurse and explained that I was going to need some pain control. The next thing I remember I woke up in the maternity ward in the only vacant bed left in my entire hospital. The rest of the wards were jam-packed with victims of TB, malaria and a recent nasty typhoid outbreak, so I was lying prostrate in maternity, not knowing if my prostate was showing or not, but if it was I didn’t care. With an IV drip in my arm and a Demerol shot in my keyster I was drifting into oblivion. Look at me now I mused, lying in a maternity ward in the middle of a jungle, surrounded by a dozen pregnant women including the woman in the bed right beside me who… OH MOTHER OF… the woman from the northern village! I fought with all my might to stay alert but my last foggy thought before succumbing to the Demerol was of a machete being hoisted by a rotund lady standing over my bed. Kidney stones, also known as uroliths, hurt. They really hurt. Unlike appendicitis, where the patient tends to lie quite still wanting no one to touch them, the kidney stoner cannot seem to find a comfortable position, tossing to and fro’ during the colicky attacks. Depending on the size and location of the stone, hours or even weeks may pass before it does. Pain control and anti-inflammatory suppositories are used until the stone passes. The patient is also given a urine strainer in order to try and catch the stone so it can be analyzed. Please dispose of these strainers carefully, especially when at the office. “Bloggins, the coffee has a bit of an aftertaste since I used that new filter you brought in. Got any breathmints?” Should you catch the stone, it will be sent off to a kidney stoneologist who, 80% of the time, will report that the stone is composed of calcium oxalate. 10% will have the uric acid stones of gout. Sometimes the stone does not pass at all. Lithotripsy is a process whereby the stone is shattered while still in the urinary tract. Ultrasonic shock waves or even laser blasters can be used to reduce the stone to stubble. It’s a urologists arcade. 30% of those with one attack will have a subsequent attack within a year. To avoid stone formations they are advised to: a. Increase fluid intake to more than two litres per day. Dehydration leads to stones, which is why the summer months are the optimal time to form stones and why I had such a beast while in the tropics. Oddly enough, most stone formers have an abhorrence of drinking fluids. b. Limit protein intake to 1 gram per kg of your weight per day. Too much protein attracts more calcium into your blood and urine and much to your un-satisfaction you will form rolling stones. Speaking of Keith Richards, drug addicts with “high” aspirations like to use the kidney stone ruse. They arrive in the ER with allergies to everything but narcotics, toss a little blood into their urine sample, then writhe about in pain. c. Avoid salt. Like protein, salt causes more calcium to build up in the kidneys. d. Do not restrict your calcium intake. As odd as this may sound, decreasing your intake of calcium may actually increase your absorption of oxalates and it is the oxalate intake that tends to be the problem. Oxalates are found in chocolate, peanuts and tea. By the way, last time I heard, baby number six was doing okay. I’m not sure why.
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#1. To: Tatarewicz (#0)
I'll take "Childbirth" for $500, Alex. Which Is Worse: Childbirth or Kidney Stones?
-Alex Kurtagic
#2. To: X-15 (#1) (Edited)
Have you ever had a kidney stone? I have (as well as three or four more of the most painful conditions known to man (among them a twisted bowel, which caused me to pass out from the pain, gout and sciatica, both of which will make you welcome death if it would just come). I can tell you that kidney stones are quite painful and have talked to women who have given birth and had kidney stones and they told me that the kidney stone hurt the most. And I had the gout and sciatica together. Started out with sciatica and it is excruciating just by itself. After about a week of that then I got gout to go along with it. I doubt that it would have been a good time to buy a lottery ticket because I had joint pain (gout) and nerve pain at the same time. I'll take "Childbirth" for $500, Alex.
Americans who have no experience with, or knowledge of, tyranny believe that only terrorists will experience the unchecked power of the state. They will believe this until it happens to them, or their children, or their friends.
Paul Craig Roberts
#3. To: Tatarewicz (#0)
Good descriptin! But I thought I'd been Bayoneted. But my choice was the "Fetal Position"! A friend of ours was a lifelong R.N. with two kids. She had one (kidney stone) and swore she'd rather have 6 More kids than one more kidney stone. DEMEROL RULES!!!! BTW, if you had the calcium type/caused stones use nothing but distilled water for your coffee, teas, or other drinks. Also makes them taste better. "Suddenly, without warning, I felt a horrific blow to my lower back. I had been shot. I fell to my knees in pain so excruciating that first I was afraid I was going to die, then I was afraid I wasn’t going to."
"If we don’t adhere to the Constitution on matters as significant as presidential eligibility, then the Constitution ceases to be a meaningful document for guiding our nation."
#4. To: X-15, Tatarewicz, James Deffenbach, ndcorup (#1)
this is soooo true! well having experienced both, I would say they are comparable. Besides two kids, I've had kidney stones, gall stones and stones in my salivary gland. that's a nasty one. did nothing for me. the kidney stoner cannot seem to find a comfortable position, tossing to and fro’ during the colicky attacks.
Which Is Worse: Childbirth or Kidney Stones?
DEMEROL RULES!!!!
A study group recently released its findings as to the best presidents of the United States of America. Obama has been rated as the 4th best president ever: Reagan and 9 others tied for first, 15 presidents tied for second, 18 tied for third, and Obama came in fourth.
#5. To: Tatarewicz (#0)
I had two stones, one in each kidney, a year apart, and the pain is fall on the ground and pray to baby Jesus type pain.
#6. To: farmfriend (#4)
did nothing for me. " Somehow, I think you were Cheated! :-) Was it via shot or pill? (not sure there IS a pill) That stuff is in Great Demand! "DEMEROL RULES!!!!
"If we don’t adhere to the Constitution on matters as significant as presidential eligibility, then the Constitution ceases to be a meaningful document for guiding our nation."
#7. To: ndcorup (#6) (Edited)
shot. so do I. when I had my gall bladder out it just left me with bloody hips. with the kidney stones it didn't do anything. they were actually thinking about giving me morphine but that makes me throw up and that's what they were trying to stop so that was a no go. LOL. passed the stone shortly after that. They gave me oxycodone which just made me sleep. wasn't in pain by then anyway. Somehow, I think you were Cheated!
A study group recently released its findings as to the best presidents of the United States of America. Obama has been rated as the 4th best president ever: Reagan and 9 others tied for first, 15 presidents tied for second, 18 tied for third, and Obama came in fourth.
#8. To: farmfriend (#7)
Funny, morphine doesn't do much for me. Different body systems I guess. they were actually thinking about giving me morphine
"If we don’t adhere to the Constitution on matters as significant as presidential eligibility, then the Constitution ceases to be a meaningful document for guiding our nation."
#9. To: Jethro Tull (#5)
I fell down on the floor.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
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