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Title: Best comeback line ever...
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Oct 17, 2013
Author: .
Post Date: 2013-10-17 01:56:25 by christine
Keywords: None
Views: 233
Comments: 3

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around,' he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.

It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence...

'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

'A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already?'

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10 and sent on his way.

The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best come-back line ever."

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#1. To: All (#0)

Lawrence should appeal the $10 fine since the pumpkin didn't file a complaint. ;)

To question is to value the ideal of truth more highly than the loyalties to nation, religion, race, or ideology.

christine  posted on  2013-10-17   2:03:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: christine (#0)

I'm somewhat surprised that the deputy didn't shoot the "perp" using the defense that she thought that the pumpkin was an IED.

Katniss  posted on  2013-10-17   9:18:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: christine (#0)

This is an Urban Legend but there was a case where a guy was caught with a pumpkin. He was arrested for public indecency since there is no law against having sex with vegetables but you can't do it in public.

"Have Brain, Will Travel

Turtle  posted on  2013-10-17   11:44:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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