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Miscellaneous See other Miscellaneous Articles Title: Sex Accidents Send Victims to Emergency Room Twice a Week About twice a week, sometimes more often, Dr. Jordan Moskoff attends to a sex accident at his Chicago emergency room: objects stuck in places they shouldn't be, broken penises caused by inept lovers and even severed organs they jokingly call "Lorena Bobbit" cases. "[Penile] rings are really problems," Moskoff told ABCNews.com. "That should be a public service announcement: Don't use anything that doesn't have a hinge or is not made of rubber, or it's not coming off." In one unfortunate accident, the urologist sent someone in the middle of the night to Home Depot to get a special diamond-tipped saw to remove a man's makeshift 8-inch steel ring. "We actually had to have him sign a paper that we may cut his penis off," said Moskoff, 40. "The guy was fine, but I am not sure everything was functional afterwards. Sparks were flying everywhere and we worried the curtains would catch fire." Texas man fractures his penis after taking sex pill. Moskoff is a medical consultant and star of a new Discovery Health television series that premieres Dec. 28: "Sex Sent Me to the ER." Other accidents highlighted in the series include a rock singer who had a stroke mid-shag; a man who broke is penis during a threesome; and a woman who could not stop having an orgasm. Moskoff says he has a million emergency room stories to share from his 14-year career. "It happens more often than you think," he said. "Most people try to stay home and then things get worse. They make a series of bad decisions and no one plans to end up in the ER. But one thing leads to another. … People do a lot of stupid stuff." One of the most common accidents is a foreign object that somehow lodged in the rectum. "People go on the Internet and one thing leads to another," he said. Often, the embarrassed patient will lie, and say, "I fell on something, doc." "It's always the same story," Moskoff said. "More than anything, it will be they were out drinking or doing drugs and woke up the next morning and had no idea what happened, which is completely false. It would be the world's greatest 'Don't do drugs' ad if it were true." Emergency doctors see frequent cases of "broken" penises, according to Moskoff. A penile fracture is a rupture of the fibrous layer of connective tissue that surrounds the urethra. It is caused by a rapid blunt force to an erect penis, usually during aggressive intercourse or masturbation. Urologists jokingly call these accidents "missed torsional directioning." "People are not always paying attention to where they are thrusting," he said. "The penis almost always hits the back of somebody. They just miss the entrance and the person on top slams wrong." Moskoff is always amazed by how people handle these sex emergencies. One woman found a girl's text message on her husband's cellphone and took a knife to his private parts, he said. "She cut him between the penis and the scrotum at the base and it wasn't completely cut off," he said. "But the first thing he did was he went to his girlfriend's house to see if it still worked. People are crazy." And women are just as bad as the men, according to Moskoff. One 77-year-old woman ended up in the emergency room in a "moo moo dress" with the claw end of a hammer stuck up her vagina. He said she took public transportation to the hospital. "That's my favorite," he said. "Can you picture a little old lady riding a bus in a house dress with a hammer?" Moskoff said. "We constantly say, 'You can't make this stuff up.' The beauty of this show is I could do it for the next 10 years with just my stories." In the premiere episode of "Sex Sent Me to the ER," Gregg of Smithfield, N.Y., re-enacts his 2006 sex accident. At 21, Gregg was a 440-pound virgin with a golden opportunity. He and his girlfriend, Jen, who is also in the show, were watching a movie one night when she enticed him into her twin bed with silky sheets. "A twin is not really good for me," he told ABCNews.com. "Twin is my body size and not a bed type." "One thing led to another and we started going at it," Gregg, who preferred that his last name not be used, said. "We started going at I -- 440 pounds in missionary position. I worked up quite a sweat. It was pretty slippery and she was up against the wall with her head resting and her neck up and not in a great position." In one enthusiastic thrust, Gregg pushed her head right through the wall. "She went right through the sheetrock," he said. "I thought I had killed her." At first, the couple laughed, but when she developed a headache, they went to the emergency room. "There is no way I am going to explain this," he said. "Either way, if I say she fell, it looks like a beat her. If I tell them it was sex -- well, I was not so giving of the truth at the time." Dr. Moskoff said he is surprised that Gregg and the other characters on "Sex Sent Me to the ER" are unabashedly telling their stories. "From my point of view, I don't get it," he said. "For someone to get up there and say, 'I did this crazy thing on national TV -- it doesn't make sense to me. It's their 15 minutes of fame. … I am guessing they have been telling these stories their entire lives. Why not tell it to a broader audience?" For Gregg's part, he said he has always been a comedian, probably because of his size. "I got on a stage in a penguin suit, so there is no concern for me being embarrassed or ashamed. It's not my style," he said. "I love to make people laugh." Today, Gregg is 28 and a project manager for a marketing firm. Since his sex accident, he said he has lost 220 pounds and had skin reduction surgery. He keeps fit as a part-time Zumba teacher and kick-boxing coach. His girlfriend is now with another guy, but Gregg and Jen are still friends. She doesn't mind the publicity, he said. "Her boyfriend is fine with it," he said, "and she likes to laugh, too." Share Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: Tatarewicz (#0)
Ever heard the one about the young lady who stored her lube and super glue in the same drawer? My mother was the night admitting clerk at the local ER. The stories she told me. Once this woman came in (something about a plastic banana) and I knew her son from school. Then there were the faggots who "accidentally sat on it." Yeah, right, you sat on a light bulb. "Have Brain, Will Travel
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