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Title: Then and Now
Source: Strategy Page Jokes
URL Source: http://www.strategypage.com/humor/articles/thennow.asp
Published: Mar 11, 2005
Author: Who Knows
Post Date: 2005-03-11 08:49:27 by boonie rat
Keywords: Then
Views: 195
Comments: 5

Then and Now

Then and Now: Military Service Compared, World War II and Today.

1945- Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a .30 caliber bullet that killed the enemy.

Now- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminum, shoot a .22 caliber bullet that wounds the enemy.

1945- The winning side used a US made .45 Caliber pistol, the losers a European 9mm.

Now- We use a European 9mm pistol. Nobody uses the .45.

1945- If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.

Now- If you smoke, you are sent outside and are treated like a leper.

1945- If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.

Now- If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.

1945- NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.

Now- Everyone has an Internet computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.

1945- We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home

Now- We put the real thing in the cockpit.

1945- Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.

Now- She is in the same foxhole, praying your condom worked.

1945- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.

Now- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career.

1945- You were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.

Now- You spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you are out of ammo.

1945- Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.

Now- Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and they always taste like plastic.

1945- Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded respect.

Now- Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.

1945- They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.

Now- They collect our pee and analyze it.

1945- If you don't act right, the commander might put you in the stockade till you straighten up.

Now- If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

1945- Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.

Now- Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.

1945- You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.

Now- You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.

1945- You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.

Now- You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.

1945- We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.

Now- We can't even beat Iraq or Yugoslavia.

1945- If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec. Center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.

Now- You go to the Community Center and can still play pool.

1945- If you wanted a beer and conversation you could go to the NCO or Officers Club.

Now- The beer will cost you $1.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink.

1945- You could buy quartermaster gas tax free because it was on a military reservation.

Now- AAFES charges you the tax but pockets the money themselves because it is on a military reservation.

1945-The PX had bargains for GI's who didn't make much money.

Now- You can get better merchandise cheaper at Wal-Mart.

1945- If a general wanted to make a presentation he scribbled some notes down and a corporal prepared a bunch of charts

Now- The general prepares his own charts, spending hours usnig Power Point.

1945- We could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.

Now- We are wearing the Nazi helmets.

1945- We called the enemy things like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we didn't like them.

Now- We call the enemy things like "opposing forces" and "aggressors" so we won't offend them.

1945- Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.

Now- Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.

1945- If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a trophy.

Now- If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court martial.

1945- A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.

Now- A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

1945- After the war, you could buy your own rifle from the government, cheap.

Now- You can't be trusted with your own rifle, and you'll be jailed if you ever get one.

1945- Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.

Now- Wars are planned and run by politicians with lots of important panty raids.

1945- We knew we were fighting for freedom. The country was committed to winning.

Now- We don't know what we are fighting for.

1945- All you could think of was getting out and becoming a civilian again.

Now- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

#1. To: boonie rat (#0)

Now- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.

Now - All you think about is the Stop-Loss order that can keep you in forever.

Lod  posted on  2005-03-11   8:57:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

1945- Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.

Now- Wars are planned and run by politicians with lots of important panty raids.

Thanks for posting.

robin  posted on  2005-03-11   9:10:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

1945- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.

Now- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career.

UNLESS, of course, you are a fortunate son with special permission to be AWOL while working in another state for Deddy's friend who wants to be a senator.

h-a-l-f-w-i-t-t  posted on  2005-03-11   9:41:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

UNLESS, of course, you are a fortunate son with special permission to be AWOL while working in another state for Deddy's friend who wants to be a senator.

Then, you can stay drunk all the time and do all the blow you want.

Flintlock  posted on  2005-03-11   9:45:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Then, you can stay drunk all the time and do all the blow you want.

... and end up being President! And no masses of angry protesters or opposing politicians can stop you!

Oddly, when the big enemies have been conquered, the little enemies become more deadly. How truly strange and almost poetic it would be if America were saved by a rogue pretzel.

h-a-l-f-w-i-t-t  posted on  2005-03-11   9:48:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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