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Title: An Outdated Joke by Turtle
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Published: Sep 23, 2014
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2014-09-23 12:22:22 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 943
Comments: 22
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What organ of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?" The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question." So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?" The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye." "That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
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#1. To: Turtle (#0)
Older boys told me this... One, if new bride laughs, she aint a virgin and two, you been SHORT changed.
In my case they don't laugh, just gasp and faint.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
I refuse to comment on such a ridiculous dishonest statement.
Kinda like at closing time, when they're looking for a ten, but a one will slip right in?
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Many years ago and far away, such was called olde Hank. By closing time there would be but one bar fly left, Olde Hank. Never failed, Olde Hank would take some young man home with her.
Mercifully, the kid was usually drunker than Hank...at least I hope so.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Jealous! Yes you are! Jealous! Turtle has been used to it his entire life. "Have Brain, Will Travel
Shoot, more like women ask you if they can get that in adult size.
Sir Lod... I was never that loaded, ever. If one went home with her on friday nite, she would return them to the base Sunday night, ten pounds lighter and in need of a lot of rest.
hehehehehehehehe
Sounds like a weekend w/Hank would be a "once in a lifetime" experience.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
OLDER than Mose's toes and twice as corny.
you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
#2. To: Cynicom (#1)
#3. To: Turtle (#2)
In my case they don't laugh, just gasp and faint.
#4. To: Turtle (#2)
#5. To: Lod (#4)
#6. To: Cynicom (#5)
#7. To: Cynicom (#3)
I refuse to comment on such a ridiculous dishonest statement.
#8. To: Turtle (#2)
#9. To: Lod (#6)
Mercifully, the kid was usually drunker than Hank...at least I hope so.
#10. To: Obnoxicated, Turtle (#8)
women ask you if they can get that in adult size.
#11. To: Cynicom (#9)
#12. To: Turtle (#0)
-Alex Kurtagic
#13. To: X-15 (#12)
It's still funny.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
#14. To: Turtle (#13)
Last time I went in for a prostate exam, the Doctor walked in and WOWZER! She was a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! As she's doing the finger-wave, she says....."Mike, you've got to stop masturbating".....................I said "Why?" She says "Because I'm trying to examine you!" :)
-Alex Kurtagic
#15. To: X-15 (#14)
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man asks,” What are they doing in there”? The nurse responds, “They’re preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and they have Obama Care.”
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
#16. To: Obnoxicated (#8)
Beware the Death Pug, who will nail your scrotum to the floor. Shoot, more like women ask you if they can get that in adult size.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
#17. To: X-15, Lod (#14)
X and Lod stay after school to see the Principal.
#18. To: Cynicom (#17)
Two jews are walking down the street. They see a blonde shiksa on the other side of the street. One jew says: "Boy I'd like to f*** her". The other jew says: "Out of what"? :)
-Alex Kurtagic
#19. To: Turtle (#16) (Edited)
I had a rott grab me by the crotch once. My wife, god love her, was present. Instead of trying to pry him off, she yells at the dog "Don't use your teeth! He hates that!"
#20. To: X-15 (#18)
Har T har har har...good one
#21. To: Turtle, all (#16)
That's the actual caption written under this 8th graduation photo of our friend Turtle. Beware the Death Pug
#22. To: Obnoxicated (#19)
Funny - thanks.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
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